Purpose In All Things
by whovianbard
Summary: In the aftermath of the 456 the Doctor sends a devastated Jack on a mission. By gaining a new purpose can Jack regain what he has lost? A post COE AU fix-it story. Final chapter now up. Spoilers for the Who-verse. Jack H/Donna N. Janto eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. that honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: This is the first fanfic I've dared to post. The story has been playing on my mind since DW season 4's JE but only coalesced after CoE (How I sobbed on Day 4). Could be strictly be classed as a DW/TW crossover due to presence of Donna and the Doctor, but in my head it was always a Jack (and Ianto) story, hence the TW posting. There will be angst, there will be pain. There will be a happy ending. Honest! Hope you enjoy the journey. Please review if you get the chance. Be gentle ;0)**

**And so we begin....**

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_Chapter 1_

The Doctor had found him in an dank alleyway on one of the smaller moons of Ventrasse 3. Or to be strictly accurate he had come to in an alleyway after a particularly painful and messy end to one of his frequent firefights to find the sad, kind face of the Doctor looking down at him, lying in a pool of his own blood still warm on the damp concrete.

"Jack," the Doctor sighed, taking his hand and squeezing it in a gesture of understanding, and Jack knew at once that he knew everything. Even so, looking at the familiar beloved face he decided he needed to tell him himself just because the Doctor was the one person in the Universe who he hoped would truly understand.

"You've heard about the 456," he commented flatly after several long moments, pulling himself up so he could lean against the cold concrete wall. "About Ianto and Steven."

The Doctor nodded, his soft brown eyes intense on Jack's face which Jack could feel was wet with tears he didn't remember shedding. His expression filled with pity.

"I'm sorry Jack – so sorry."

And with that he had grasped Jack's arm, pulled him to his feet and led him through the blue wooden doors not ten feet away. Back into the comforting glow of the TARDIS.

Inside, in one of the myriad of anterooms the TARDIS seemed to be able to conjure at will, he sat opposite the Doctor on a long brown leather sofa taking comfort in the subdued lighting which hid his face from the Doctors' questioning eyes. In an effort to deflect the inevitable questions he chose instead to go on the attack. He asked the fatal question, one which would change his existence for ever.

"Where's Donna? Is she off doing Time Lord stuff on her own somewhere – the Doctor-Donna? And the lovely Rose...?"

The Doctor's face darkened and Jack suddenly realised that he looked old. His Doctor looked old, as if he had aged fifty years since he had left him back on Earth. Something had gone wrong, terribly horribly wrong. When the Doctor spoke it was in a voice Jack hardly recognised.

"They're gone Jack....No! Not dead," the Doctor quickly continued, as Jack started out of his seat in distress. "Just away. That's one of the reasons I came...well we'll get to that later."

There was another long silence, as if the Doctor was preparing himself to say something unpleasant or maybe composing himself embarrassed he had displayed emotion. It turned out to be the former.

"What the hell are you playing at Jack?" the Doctor finally said harshly. "I've spent the best part of two months tracking you and from what I can tell you've died a hundred times over in that time. That's pushing it – even for you!"

Jack recoiled as if the Doctor had physically struck him, but looked him squarely in the eye as he replied angrily,

"I was trying to make one stick. What do you think!" He took a deep, shuddering breath trying to calm himself. It wasn't the Doctor's fault. He had brought this on himself. "I lost them Doctor – no I killed them. And I can't live with that."

Of course it wasn't nearly as simple as that. Through all those lifetimes, all those love affairs, the grand passions and the not so grand passions and he had finally found the One. For a while – a very long while – he had thought the man sat opposite was the One, even though he knew his heart belonged to someone else – the glorious Rose. But no, it had turned out to be an unassuming Welshman by the name of Ianto Jones, who miraculously loved him back - the freak of nature he'd become. When he had returned from the great battle against the Daleks he had tried to tell Ianto how he felt, but had been too scared to tell him the whole of it. Still, for a short time, oh such a tiny time, they'd been happy. No, it was more than that, he'd been content just living in the moment for the first time in his life. And then it had all fallen apart. A nasty little secret from his past had come back to haunt him and Ianto had died in his arms.

And Steven – oh God! That was the constant knife blade to his heart. He had coldly and deliberately killed his own grandson for the greater good of the Earth. Sacrificed his own flesh and blood to the 456 just as he had the orphaned children had forty-five years earlier. Ianto had been a grown man, had known what following Jack might mean, but Steven had been a child who trusted his 'Uncle Jack'. He could never forgive himself for that. Ianto had once called him a monster, long ago, and he'd been right. He was a monster. The Doctor must despise him – as he despised himself.

"I don't despise you," the Doctor murmured, and with a start Jack realised he had been voicing his thoughts out loud – or maybe the Doctor had just been reading his mind. Either way he was glad the Doctor knew.

"You had a terrible choice to make Jack," the Doctor continued in a low voice. "I'm not sure I would have been able to make it. I'm sorry I couldn't get there in time – to save Steven – to save Ianto – to save you."

Jack didn't reply. He didn't know why the Doctor hadn't come. Maybe he just hadn't known. Whatever the reason he didn't want to know. If the reason wasn't good enough he might have started to blame the Doctor, and that wasn't fair. It was all his fault.

If the Doctor read Jack's thoughts in that moment he chose to keep it to himself.

"How did you find me?" Jack asked finally, moving onto safer, less painful ground.

"I saw Gwen. I came looking for you at Torchwood, found a hole in the ground. I looked up Gwen. She said you'd left. I've been tracking the signature from that thing," he gestured to the vortex manipulator on Jack's wrist. "ever since. I thought I fixed that so you couldn't use it to teleport." He gave an admonishing look at Jack who shrugged somewhat guiltily.

The Doctor grew serious again, "Gwen misses you Jack. Especially with the baby due any time now."

Jacks face grew grave, "How can I face her again – after what I did?"

"You should give her more credit. She knows you, knows what you've lost. She understands what you had to do. And she lost people she loves too Jack! Ianto...and you."

"You want me to go back to Earth?" Jack shook his head, "Why? To atone for my crimes?" He couldn't help the note of bitterness which crept into his voice. "Well thanks but no thanks. I can atone much better out here as a gun for hire!"

The Doctor grabbed Jack's arm and forced Jack to look at him. "I want you to go back to Earth because the Earth needs you. As Harriet Jones once said to me I'm not there all the time, I can't be. The 456 proved her point."

"And I handled that so well..." Jack interjected sarcastically.

"And you handled it," the Doctor corrected him impatiently. "You saved the children of Earth from the 456 in spite of the personal cost to you. The Earth needs someone like you until they find their way in the stars. I can't believe I'm about to say this but Earth needs Torchwood. And Torchwood needs you to lead it. And Jack, however you feel right now, you need Torchwood."

Jack shook his head helplessly, "I can't Doctor...I just can't."

"Jack, I need you to go to Earth. That's why I came to find you. I need you to help someone."

"You?" Jack questioned curiously.

"Yes...No...well at least not directly. Donna needs you."

The Doctor had explained of course, at ninety words a minute, about Rose and the other him happy together in the alternate reality. His voice had cracked as he had told him and he had refused to meet Jack's eyes when he had assured him it was all for the best and he was happy for them.

But he had seemed truly distraught as he had explained Donna Noble's fate. How the incredible young woman who had saved all reality was gone.

"The world needs people like Donna Noble," he had finished. "My Donna Noble. And I owe it to her to let her be my Donna Noble again."

"But I thought you said if she remembered you and the TARDIS and everything she would burn up," Jack protested.

"She would," the Doctor agreed. "She must never remember her time with me. But Donna became my Donna because she got to lead an extraordinary life. She has so much potential, the mind wipe couldn't take that away. All she needs is to find a purpose – a reason to live an extraordinary life again. She needs someone extraordinary – she needs you Jack."

Jack gave a snort of incredulous laughter. "Yeah, she really needs a broken, immortal murderer to show her how to live. Come on Doctor, this is a bad joke!"

The Doctor looked severely at him until he shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. For such a mild, unassuming looking person the Doctor really could play hard ball, he thought wryly.

"She needs a purpose, you need a purpose. I'm asking you to find one together."

"You're asking a lot Doctor," Jack muttered. "How am I supposed to give her purpose?"

"I don't know. I'll leave it up to you. Surprise me. Trust me Jack, you need to do this," the Doctor replied honestly.

And as though all their adventures together, just because the Doctor was the Doctor, of course he agreed.

They took the long way back to Earth; stopped a 31st century Earth colony from being destroyed by yet another branch of the Slitheen family and had a run in with a giant spider. The Doctor had lost track of the number of those he'd encountered in his ten regenerations. In between they talked. Guarded at first, not wanting to let too much of themselves be seen. In all their adventures together this was really the first time they had ever been alone. Eventually though Jack told the Doctor everything; about his childhood on the Boeshane Peninsular, about Gray, Captain John Hart, Gwen and Ianto – especially Ianto. He even talked about his daughter, Alice, and Steven, unable to stop the tears from falling. And the Doctor listened.

In turn, the Doctor spoke to Jack of the Time War, of Gallifrey, of his companions throughout the year. How Rose and Donna had been different – a lover and a best friend in turn. How Martha had saved him after he had lost Rose that first time. How he had regretted that she had always felt second best even though it was not true. How proud he'd been of her during that terrible year that never was. But nearly all their conversations came back to Rose and Donna. His regret that he had never been able to tell Rose how he truly felt. How a piece of him had died back on that deserted beach as he watched his other self say the words he'd always wanted to say. How much he missed them both.

But Jack knew the Doctor would always keep a part of himself hidden – the Doctor's family on Gallifrey, the daughter he had found and then lost in the blink of an eye, River Song – those people Jack knew were pivotal in the Doctor's past and future. Of those people he spoke not a word. Jack didn't mind. The fact he had told Jack so much meant that he trusted Jack. He didn't know why he had the Doctor's trust but it was a position Jack valued more than he could say.

* * *

After a month of travelling the Doctor took him back to Earth, pressed a mobile phone containing a very special number in his hand, and left him standing in a very damp Chiswick High Street in the early hours of a Wednesday morning.

"Good luck Jack" he said with one of his trademark grins, jamming his hands deep in the pocket of his long coat with a flourish. "Knowing Donna Noble as I do, you'll need it!"

As soon as the deep grating noise of the TARDIS engines had faded Jack stuck the mobile deep in the pocket of the greatcoat and turned to find a taxi rank. Donna could wait one more day. First he had someone to see, and somewhere to go.

* * *

**Shall I continue? I have thirteen episodes in the bag ready to go...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: As before I don't anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty BBC.**

**A/N: I was going to wait to see what kind of feedback I got for Chapter 1 before posting Chapter 2. Then I thought what the hell...Sorry it's short but it seemed like a good place to stop.**

**Cue tissues...**

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Chapter 2

The gravestone was plain white marble, inscribed with just a name, date and a single word 'Beloved'. Jack put his hand on top of the cold damp stone and fell to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Jack?" The name was gently spoken. A warm hand covered his own. Turning, brushing his eyes with the back of his hand, he saw Gwen standing beside him shrouded in a huge raincoat which just covered her extremely pregnant stomach. She gave him a tentative smile and held her arms wide. In a single motion he had got to his feet and turned to be enveloped in a warm, teary hug.

"You stupid bastard. I was worried sick. Where have you been?" The scolding words were softened by the fact they were punctuated by gulping sobs. "Bloody hormones!" Gwen said disgustedly.

"I'm OK. Really. The Doctor found me," Jack assured her. "I'm sorry I worried you. I was getting my head together."

Gwen opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again and just hugged him tighter. As he struggled for breath, Jack could see Rhys over Gwen's shoulder, standing a few yards off, an intensely relieved expression on his face.

"Good to see you mate," he called across breaking the tension. "I was afraid she might go into labour when she saw you. You alright love?"

"I'm fine, Rhys," Gwen called back, then under her breath she continued for Jacks ears alone, "He's been murder the last three months – protective is not the word."

"You deserve to be protected, Gwen Cooper. I don't intend to lose you as well." Jack retorted softly. Gwen squeezed his arm and looked down at the grave.

"I'm so sorry about Steven," she began, but stopped abruptly when she saw the shuttered look descend over Jack's face. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I tried to contact his mother...your daughter I mean...but she refused to speak to me." She fell silent.

"She can't forgive me – I can't expect her to. I can't forgive myself. It's better I stay away." Jack motioned towards the gravestone. "I've done enough."

Turning back to face the gravestone he reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a model car which he carefully placed at the base of the stone next to the fresh flowers.

"When he was six he gave me that car and told me in such a grown up voice that I had to buy him a real one when he was old enough to drive. He had good taste. It was a Ferrari." He looked at the stone for a long moment, touched the name lightly with his fingertips and turning, walked away.

Gwen hurried after him. As they reached Rhys, Jack pulled him into a swift hug.

"You look after her Rhys Williams, or you'll have me to answer to!" he ordered with something approaching his old grin.

Rhys raised his eyebrows sceptically. "I'd like to see you try," he countered.

"Jack! You're leaving? Now?" Gwen said sharply, her voice panicked.

"I'm on a mission for the Doctor. Don't worry you've not seen the last of Jack Harkness. I'm only going as far as London and I'll be back often. There is Torchwood to rebuild after all." He held his hand up to stem Gwens' inevitable questions. "I'll tell you what's going on. I promise. Just as soon as I work out what's going on myself." Jack opened the door to the SUV he'd commandeered (the British government spooks had seemed surprisingly pleased to see him when he'd barged into Thames House earlier in the day) and climbed in. "Call me when...you know, the big day...or night" he conceded with another wide smile.

"Jack! Wait!" Gwen put a hand on the door, stopping it from closing. She reached into an inside pocket and pulled out a dirty crumpled envelope. With a sad smile she pushed into Jacks hand.

"We found it in what was left of the Hub," she explained. "In Iantos' things."

Jack closed his fingers around the paper and nodded blindly, his eyes suddenly blurring. "I'll see you soon"

Gwen closed the door and with a roar he gunned the engine and pulled away tyres squealing. With a sigh Gwen leaned back in Rhys's arms.

"At least he's back." She cast her eyes up to the darkening sky. "Thank you Doctor. For giving him back to us."

* * *

Jack drove for a hour, up onto the moors, off the road to the remotest, wildest place he could find, all the while the envelope burning like fire in his hand. Finally when it was too dark to see the desolate landscape around him he stopped and turned off the engine. He looked down at the envelope, desperate to know what was inside, but at the same time terrified of what he might find. He straightened out the crumpled paper seeing for the first time the words 'Jack. To be opened only in the event of my death' written in Iantos' clear, precise hand. Jack ran his thumb over the words and stared at them. Finally after the longest time, when the car had cooled and Jack had wrapped the greatcoat around him for warmth, he broke the seal and drew out the contents. A single sheet of fine writing paper folded in half and, slipped between its folds, a plain platinum man's ring. Jack grasped the ring tightly while he unfolded the paper and read,

_Dear Jack,_

_If you are reading this then something has gone very wrong and I'm dead (either that or I'm out getting coffee and you are snooping in which case I hope you feel suitably ashamed when you next see me!). I'm writing this just after you woke up after that terrible waking trance, when I thought I'd lost you for ever and I said all those things, told you all my fears, worried about just being a blip in time for you. I know you heard me. Thank you for not making me feel foolish._

_It made me wonder though just what we were to each other, where we would end up if we managed to beat the odds. I guess if you are reading this we never did beat those odds or maybe we did and it's eighty years on. I'm not a fool though. With the life we lead I don't think I'll ever live to be an old man. Anyway, after the whole Dalek thing, you tried to tell me how you felt. I know it wasn't easy for you. But for me it was all too new, too fragile and scary I suppose. I kept you at arms length and never really told you how I truly felt. But I'm not scared anymore and I need to tell you now._

_You mean everything to me Jack Harkness. I love you body and soul, and although I know that even with a fair wind behind us we could only ever be together for a while you should know you are, and will always be, the love my life._

_In this new liberated world I would marry you this minute Jack, shout it to the world if you asked me. I would ask you but I'm not that brave. I'm afraid you would say no, or talk me out of it with some rubbish about how you couldn't be with me forever. So in case, when you read this, you never got the chance to ask me, I'll ask you now safe in the pages of this letter. Will you marry me Jack?_

_If when you read this we are not together anymore and you have another love, please please don't feel guilty. Just bury the letter and the ring and be happy with my blessing. I've been so happy with you Jack, and whatever happens I will thank you for that. Forever._

_I love you. Ianto_

Fighting back tears Jack look down at the ring turning it over and over with shaking hands. It was his size, of course it was Ianto was nothing if not efficient. Inside it was engraved ' JH x IJ. Never just a blip in time'. Jack slid the ring onto the third finger of his left hand and kissed it.

"Ianto Jones," he said softly "You are full of surprises. It's one of the reasons I love you so much." Then he rested his head on his hands against the steering wheel and allowed the tears to fall unchecked, wet and warm against his cheeks.

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**Chapter 3 coming soon...**


	3. Chapter 3

******Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. that honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has added this story as a Favourite or a Story Alert. I'm dedicating tonights chapters (there's two - go on count them) to bbmcowgirl, MizScarlet and blaidd drwg cariad who gave me my first three lovely reviews before I'd even had my breakfast. I really appreciate it.**

**It's time to meet Ms Noble. I know by rights she should be as obnoxious as she was right at the start of the Runaway Bride but I'm working on the principle that a year on from Journeys End she has started to question her life just a bit and is more like she is at the end of Runaway Bride. Mea culpa.**

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_Chapter III_

Donna Noble was in the pub. Of course she was, it was Friday night wasn't it. She was celebrating surviving another week as Mr Goodhew's secretary in the engineering firm of G.W. Gooodhew and Sons, a two-bit, tin-pot operation making rivets and allen keys for the masses. Although, she had to concede lately it was more for the odd hardware shop given the way sales were going. But at least for another week she had a regular if somewhat small payslip which kept, if not the wolves from the door, at least her mother off her back. It was a good enough reason for a swift drink at the Gunner's Mate before heading home.

In the last year since her 'episode' (her friends insisted she'd missed some big alien invasion sleeping off a hangover – as if!), her mother had been a bit odd. Always looking at her out of the corner of her eye as if Donna might do something strange like grow another head. Sylvia Noble's tongue had always been razor sharp and more often than not Donna would bear the brunt of it, Sylvia's disappointment in her only child frequently voiced. Now though she would start to say something, glance around wildly as if she was afraid of being overheard, give Donna a swift hug instead and leave the room. Donna supposed her mother was having a post mid-life crisis. She didn't fool herself into believing her mother was any more fond of her. Thank god for Grandad Wilf. Wilfred Mott treating her like a queen, like she was the most precious thing on the planet. A few months ago when all the children had gone weird for a bit (Wilf told her it had been due to some dodgy vaccination they had all had), he had suddenly whisked her away on a star-gazing trip saying she needed a holiday. Two weeks in a tent in deepest, darkest Yorkshire in the rain. They hadn't seen many stars but they had talked. He'd told her how special she was, how she was wasted being a temp. How she shouldn't listen to Sylvia, she was just grieving for Donna's dad. It was after that trip that Donna had taken the job at G.W. Goodhew & Sons even though it paid less than temping. She needed stability, to make a career for herself. Even if was just as a secretary. Besides Wilf wasn't getting any younger and she had always promised herself to provide for him in his old age. She wasn't sure how she was going to do that on her current salary but at least it was a start.

Donna sipped her vodka appreciatively and let her eyes wander around the pub. Terry and Gavin, two mechanics from the firm, and her usual drinking companions, were playing their customary Friday night drinking game. Donna had never been able to fully grasp the rules, even though she had participated on a number of occasions, but the main aim seemed to be getting as legless as possible in the shortest possible time. From what Donna could see they were well on their way to breaking their own record. She'd let them play alone tonight, getting ratted on a Friday night and spending all day Saturday recovering from a hangover just wasn't that appealing anymore. Maybe she was getting old. Old and alone. Sod that for a lark, she thought viciously, a woman in my prime that's what I am! She let her gaze move on, she loved people-watching. It was her favourite pastime, even better than reading the gossip mags.

Her eyes settled on the lone figure of a man sat at the bar nursing a shot glass. There were several empty shot glasses beside him lined up with precision along the bar. Donna liked precision. Nice profile, she decided, studying him closely. As if aware of her scrutiny the man shifted in his seat and she caught a glimpse of his face. Bloody hell, though Donna, an unexpected bolt of attraction shooting through her. Now he is handsome. What the hell, she decided suddenly, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Surreptitiously she pulled her compact mirror from her bag and checked her hair and make-up. Finding everything in order she took a gulp of vodka and got to her feet.

"Another round?" she asked Terry and Gavin, ignoring her own half-filled glass on the table before her. "My treat." Gavin and Terry whooped their approval and signalled they wanted more of the same. Putting her hips to full effect Donna sashayed towards the bar nonchalantly positioning herself besides the man ostensibly trying to catch the barman's eye. Surreptitiously glancing down she caught a glimpse of a silver ring on the man's wedding finger. Bugger. Married, she thought disappointedly. She was about to move round the bar under the guise of gaining a better position to attract the harassed barman's attention when, taking a final rueful look at the face of the man beside her, she stopped. His face was somehow familiar, like someone she'd met at a party once years ago. But it was the expression on his face which stopped her dead. The face of a man who had gone to hell – and was still there.

Without thinking she turned to face him properly,

"Excuse me. Are you alright?" she found herself asking, all at once wondering if she had made a very bad mistake getting involved.

The man tilted his head to look at her and for a split second she saw the pain in his blue eyes replaced by a spark of recognition. Then it was gone and in its place was just appreciation and crinkled half smile. I would kill for eyelashes like those, she thought absently.

"I am now sweetheart," the man smiled suggestively.

Donna sighed as disappointment washed over her. A bloody American. And a seriously cheesy one at that.

"Oh pleeease," she returned sarcastically. "What is this? 1973. I guess that's still a good line back in the good 'ol US of A. We'll let me tell you... sweetheart was it... I wasn't actually coming on to you..." Guiltily Donna crossed her fingers behind her back. Well she hadn't been, not then. "...I was concerned. Strange alien concept for the British I know, but there it is." Donna paused for breath realising that if she continued she would be in danger of making a fool of herself. "Since you're clearly fine, albeit American, which I realise is a bit of an insurmountable problem, I'll be off."

With a toss of her vivid red hair she started to move away, but the man put a restraining hand on her arm.

"Oi..." she began indignantly, turning an angry face to him and looking pointedly at her arm.

"I'm sorry, bad joke..." the man began, immediately releasing her. He seemed to struggle for words. "It's been, well, not a good day."

Suddenly remembering the haunted look on his face which had prompted her to speak in the first place, Donna's face softened.

"Please sit down." The man patted the stool next him. "Let me buy you a drink to apologise. Please?"

"What the hell," Donna assented, sitting down and dropping her bag at her feet. Nothing ventured nothing gained, she reminded herself. And he is cute. Smiling she held her hand out,

"Donna Noble," she said briskly.

"Jack Harkness," he replied taking her hand and shaking firmly. "American. Pleased to meet you."

* * *

After that it had been easy, Donna realised. Jack was so easy to talk to. And he didn't seem to think she was brash and loud, or at least if he did he hid it well. And he wasn't as cocky as he appeared. It was all a front, Donna sensed, there was something deeply painful hidden away. Something to do with his ring, which he kept unconsciously touching and turning over and over.

It was closing time, the barman was chivvying people to finish their drinks. Around her people were putting on their coats and saying their farewells. Glancing round, she noticed Terry and Gavin were long gone, probably to a club where they could continue the contest in earnest. With a sinking feeling she realised that it was coming to an end. This unexpected, and she conceded, frankly bloody marvellous, encounter. She had to say something.

"So Jack, back home to the missus then." She winced. Even to her own ears it sounded unbelievably crass and rude. "Sorry," she apologised wildly. "That was..."

Jack held his hand up to stop her and smiled sadly, "Don't worry about it. No wife, no anyone."

"I just thought," Donna said uncomfortably. "The ring..."

Jack looked down at his hand as if he was seeing the ring for the first time. "Widower," he replied quietly.

For once Donna couldn't think of a single thing to say. Blushing in embarrassment, her hair and face approaching the same colour she rapidly stood up and bent down to retrieve her bag. Her hair covering her face she began to mutter an apology and started to back away unwilling to meet Jack's accusing eyes. As before Jack put his hand out to stop her.

"Donna. It's OK. Really OK," he said softly.

"No, it's not Jack," Donna said hotly, bringing her suspiciously swimming eyes up to meet his face. "I'm crap at this. I think I better go before I say something else crass and stupid and rude and..."

Whatever else Donna was going to say was lost as Jack leant over and gave her an intense, searing kiss on the lips.

"Oi...I...Jack..." Donna spluttered incoherently as he pulled away.

"When can I see you again? Tomorrow 8pm Gino's on the High Street?" Jack grinned at her. Still shocked to her core, Donna could only nod.

* * *

The following night Donna resolved to be calm, collected and sophisticated. She had leapt out of bed so early that Sylvia had been too shocked to say more than good morning, forgoing her usual diatribe about how Donna would never make anything of her life if she stayed out all night partying with Suzie. Dashing into town she had spent way too much money on deep purple calf length dress which looked Roman and sexy and was completely at odds with her usual wardrobe. Then she had bullied Kath at the hairdressers into fitting her in, letting her twist her red hair into a sophisticated French plait she would never have dared to try on her own. Finally at seven thirty she stood and looked at herself in the mirror of her childhood bedroom. She hardly recognised herself, it was like a stranger looking back at her. With a muttered curse she pulled down the elegant French plait and brushed her hair back into its usual flowing style, then she kicked off the deep purple stilettos. Very painful and a hundred and twenty quid down the drain. Burrowing in the back of her closet she pulled out some flat knee length brown leather boots. Pulling them on she looked again in the mirror. Now it was someone she recognised. Not a stranger, but not the old Donna Noble either. A new Donna. A better Donna.

At two minutes to eight the taxi dropped her off outside the restaurant. Jack was waiting, leaning against the door frame in a sharp dark suit. Somehow he looked out of place, lost. When he saw her his face lit up. It gave her a warm feeling inside. Giving her an appraising glance Jack wolf-whistled.

"Oi..Watch it Yank," Donna warned him in mock outrage.

"Ms Noble," Jack greeted her laughing. "Looking good may I say."

"You may Mr Harkness." Donna replied jauntily with a pronounced posh accent. "You may escort me inside." She crooked her arm in Jack's direction.

Jack took her hand and placed it on his arm. "My pleasure ma'am." he replied as he opened the door and led her inside.

The indignant retort of, "Who are you calling ma'am. I'm young, free and single I'll have you know..." was lost was the door swung shut behind them.

* * *

Later that evening, after four more hours of mundane second date conversations when she had managed to limit herself to only half a dozen acerbic witticisms and Jack had dealt out another tantalisingly short, heart-stopping goodnight kiss, Donna settled down under the duvet and fell asleep smiling broadly. For once her dreams were not full of a strange skinny man in a brown suit and a shock of dark hair, but with the lantern-jawed American who for some reason she was dying to call Captain Jack.

* * *

Across town, in his rented flat, Jack hesitated before pulling out his mobile and dialling the special number. After half a dozen rings it was answered,

"Doctor," Jack greeted him with a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I've made contact. You were right. She's going to be a handful. Might be fun though."

As usual the Doctor was not fooled for a second, "I know this is hard Jack. Thank you. Let me know if you...I mean she, needs anything. Take care."

Jack put the phone down feeling desperately lonely in the silence. Sitting on the edge of the bed he pulled off his boots and looked at the photo by the bed, his one concession to homeliness. It was a picture of him, one arm each around Gwen and Ianto, laughing at the camera. He remembered the day Rhys had taken it, a rare lazy day with no rift activity. They had gone to a beach, eaten ice-cream, stayed in a hotel because they had all drunk too much to drive back to town. He and Ianto had made love until dawn. And they had talked, really talked. Letting down the barriers if only for a moment. A perfect day and night. Just one. Two days later the 456 had sent their first message and their lives had crashed down around their ears.

Swallowing hard he leaned over and touched Ianto's face.

"Goodnight Ianto" he said, as he did every night.

Ianto just smiled back.


	4. Chapter 4

**********Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. that honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Oh what a tangled web I weave...**

* * *

_Chapter IV_

Two weeks and six dates later Donna was starting to get just a little frustrated. Correction, bloody irritated, she thought savagely as she stood before the mirror in the ladies at the office pulling a hairbrush through her tangled hair. Although Jack was everything she could wish for, kind, attentive, charming, good kisser – very, very good kisser – she couldn't help but feel he was playing a part. Like she was some kind of assignment and he was working hard just to get extra credit from the teacher. Donna had told him everything, she couldn't help it. He just inspired confidences. She told him about her mum, her dad, grandad Wilf, her dissatisfaction with her job, her life so far. She had even told him about her episode – the true version, not the one she admitted to friends. How she'd collapsed in the street and some man had brought her home unconscious. A Mr John Smith, if that was his real name. Apparently she'd been out like a light for three days or something. He'd come back to check on her, John Smith, the day she woke up. Nice man although she couldn't remember a whole lot about him. Her mind kind of shied away from him whenever she thought about it. The doctors hadn't been able to find anything wrong with her and suggested that she'd had a bad reaction to something someone might have spiked her drink with. Donna hadn't been satisfied with the explanation, but Wilf had told her not to worry about it and move on with her life.

And Jack had listened to her as if her life story was the plot of a best selling novel, and not that of some secretary in Chiswick. He had talked about his job. That was it. His job as a security consultant for a firm with offices in London and Cardiff. She knew he had to travel a great deal to some of the worlds most dangerous and volatile hotspots and that he seemed to shrug off the danger as if it were of no importance to him. She knew he didn't associate with his colleagues at work, saying he preferred to keep his job and private life separate. But about Jack the man, she knew nothing at all. Since that first night he had never mentioned his wife again. He had never mentioned his family, she didn't know if he even had any, never taken her to his flat. Come to think of it she didn't even know where it was.

Sadly Donna realised that however much she loved being with Jack she was in serious danger of getting her heart broken, and with Jack involved she wasn't sure if it would ever mend. Better to end it now, before it got any more serious. While she still had some of her heart left intact. Deliberately she put her hairbrush down.

"You've got to tell him tonight my girl," she said severely to her reflection. "It's for your own good."

The problem was, Donna thought ruefully five hours later, it wasn't proving that easy.

* * *

Jack had picked her up from work as usual, roaring up in that great hulking black SUV he drove, with a cheeky grin, smiling crinkly eyes and a promise of somewhere a bit different. And different it was. He'd driven her twenty miles outside London to an American style diner, right down to silver aluminium bullet-shaped trailer shell. He was dressed differently too. Gone was the sharp business suit which had somehow always looked so wrong on him. In its place were a blue cotton shirt over a tight white T-shirt, dark canvas trousers held up by an incongruous pair of braces, brown leather lace up boots and to top it all off, the crowning glory, what looked like a heavy, blue-grey wool World War II RAF greatcoat. He looked more relaxed than Donna had ever seen him.

"Like the outfit, Captain Jack!" Donna quipped as he got out of the SUV and opened the door for her. His eyes flashed up to meet hers in alarm.

"What do you mean?" he asked sharply.

Confused Donna waved at the coat. "RAF captain stripes...on the coat" Jack's face relaxed and he smiled.

"More me don't you think?" he admitted, giving her a twirl. "More practical in the field too."

Forgetting all her good intentions Donna stood on tiptoe and gave Jack a peck on the cheek, surprised to see him colour up.

"Absolutely you," she agreed. Then trying to ignore the tiny stab of fear in her stomach she asked,

"Does this mean you're going away?"

"Only for a day or two. To Cardiff. Management want me to supervise some training sessions for new staff. Team bonding and stuff. Nothing dangerous." Jack assured her. "Why? Will you miss me?"

"You wish. Just thought I might get chance to get off with the two other men I've had on the back burner..." Donna replied cheekily, as the sick feeling in her stomach dissipated. Maybe it was already too late.

"Inside wench!" Jack scolded giving her a light slap on the behind. Laughing Donna stuck her tongue out and with a very credible flounce disappeared inside.

* * *

They had made it all the way to dessert. The ubiquitous apple pie of course, and judging by the way Jack shovelled it down it was one of his favourites Donna noted for future reference. Suddenly Jack's mobile started to ring. No cutesy little ring tone here, Donna noted, just a plain old double ring like an old fashioned telephone.

"Sorry," he apologised as he fished the phone from his pocket and read the incoming call number. "I need to take this." He flipped the phone open, angled his head away from Donna and said his name. For almost a minute he listened intently, his brow furrowed in concern. Then his expression lifted and his face broke into a wide heart-stopping smile.

"Rhys. That's marvellous news. Congratulations. Give my love to Gwen. I can be there first thing in the morning." He paused while the voice at the other end of the line spoke. "Alright eleven o'clock. And she's definitely OK?" There was another pause. "OK see you then." With a flourish he hung up the phone and swung back to look at Donna who looked back expectantly,

"Big news?" she enquired politely. For some reason she felt put out by the call. All her doubts resurfaced.

"Yeah the best news," Jack said happily. "We should celebrate. Turns out I'm an uncle."

"An uncle. So is Gwen your sister? Or is Rhys your brother? I didn't know you had brothers or sisters Jack."

For a moment Jack looked like he might contradict her but said nothing a guilty look stealing over his face. For Donna it was the final straw, something inside her snapped.

"Not that I know anything about you at all," she said waspishly. "Do I Jack? Not a damn thing. You haven't told me anything about you, your family, your past." Her voice grew shriller in degrees as her anger mounted.

Jack turned pale, stunned by the sudden anger in Donna. He hadn't expected this, it was all going wrong fast. Unusually for him he had seriously misjudged the situation and in another few moments he would have lost her for good. In that split second he realised he couldn't let that happen, not for her sake, not for the Doctor's sake and especially not for his own sake. The Doctor had been right, as usual. Turned out he did need Donna after all.

"Donna, wait!" His plea stopped Donna in her tracks, coat half on already two steps towards the door.

"Why Jack?" she said tiredly all the fight draining out of her. "What's the point? You're never going to let me in. I'm not good enough for you...a secretary from Chiswick. Who was I kidding? You want a temporary uncomplicated diversion Jack, someone to get you over that awkward 'widower newly back on the market' phase!" Donna knew she was being cruel but couldn't help herself, she just wanted to get away from him so she could fall apart in peace. She'd left it too late. Much too late. "It was never meant to be serious so there's no need to share. I'm right aren't I?" She turned her piercing eyes on him, her flaming red hair haloing her face like an avenging angel.

Jack was out of his seat before she could finish speaking. There was nothing he could say at that moment that would make her believe him. Ignoring the startled stares of the diners other occupants he abruptly pulled her into his arms. Taken by surprise Donna struggled to free herself, but Jack held her firmly and whispered in her ear,

"Don't let me ever hear you talking about yourself that way again Donna Noble. You are an extraordinary, special woman and I will convince you of that if it's the last thing I do." And then he kissed her. Not one of those brief, charming, intense kisses which she had become used to. This kiss was deep, heartfelt, possessive and stole her soul.

After several long, and from Donna's perspective, earth shattering moments Jack set her back on her feet. She swayed slightly. To her intense satisfaction he looked as dazed as she felt. Becoming aware of the curious stares of the other diners Jack pulled a bunch of tenners from his pocket and without counting them threw them on their table.

"Come on," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Where are we going?" Donna asked in a tiny voice, she didn't recognise as her own.

"My place," Jack replied. "We have things to talk about."

* * *

The drive back to London seemed the longest journey of Donna's life, and the shortest. They sat side by side, not speaking, not touching. For his part Jack never seemed to take his eyes from the road, his face set in stone, whilst Donna couldn't seem to tear her eyes from his forbidding profile.

At last they pulled into an underground garage beneath a tall tower block. Still not speaking, and with a growing sense of panic in her stomach, Donna scrambled from the car and reluctantly followed Jack into the lift, wondering if she should make a run for it. Before she could act on her thoughts Jack stabbed at one of the buttons and the lift doors closed. The Penthouse, Donna noted, why am I not surprised. As the lift ascended Donna's nervous feeling intensified and she shivered imperceptibly. Sensing her movement Jack took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Donna took a breath, maybe she wasn't going to be murdered after all. Even so her stomach gave a jolt as the buzzer sounded and a disembodied voice announced the Penthouse.

Moments later Donna was stood in the hallway of the most beautiful apartment she'd ever seen. It looked like it belonged on the pages of 'OK' or 'Hello', the town pad of some footballer's wag, not the home of some mere mortal. Looking around curiously she noted white pristine walls, white marble floors, immense black leather sofas, the only splash of colour being huge canvases of abstract art that predictably looked like they were the creative genius of a two year old. It was, Donna decided after a few seconds, the most cold, impersonal place she had ever encountered. It didn't really seem like Jack but then, she thought, she didn't really know anything about him at all. Her anxiety returned ten-fold.

"It's...er...lovely. Early morgue period I believe," she said seriously, employing her finest estate agent voice.

Jack gave her a half smile, "It's bloody awful. To be fair I didn't choose it. The company rent it for me for when I'm in town. I only use it to sleep in."

"Thank god," Donna breathed. "I thought you were going to turn out to be some deranged psycho with OCD."

His face serious, Jack crossed the room and disappeared through an open door on the far side. Seconds later he reappeared carrying a plain brushed steel photo frame. He sat down on the edge of one of the huge black sofas and with a sense of apprehension Donna sat down beside him. After a moments hesitation he passed the photograph across to her. Donna looked at picture with undisguised interest. It was of Jack, his arms around a handsome young man with serious eyes and an attractive brunette. They were laughing. Donna had the feeling she might be about to have the most important conversation in her life. She looked at Jack waiting for him to speak but he just looked at her in silence. Finally she realised he wasn't going to tell her anything she didn't ask to know.

"Is this Gwen?" she asked softly pointing at the dark haired woman. Jack nodded. "She doesn't look much like you." Donna commented.

"Different moms" Jack improvised wildly, belatedly realising he should have thought this through beforehand. "Gwen's mom was Dad's second wife. He divorced from my mom when I was eight. They weren't happy, she wasn't cut out to be a wife and mother."

"And is that Rhys?" Donna continued pointing.

"No, Rhys was taking the picture." Jack said quietly. "That is Ianto."

In that instant Donna knew what was coming next. To be fair it explained a lot, particularly Jack's reticence to talk about his past. Looking at Jack, Donna saw he was having trouble continuing.

"Ianto was the one you were married to," she said flatly. Not a question, a statement of fact. "So you're gay." Donna, reeling under the knowledge, knew she sounded cold and unfeeling.

"Yes...and no. It's not something I really think about. I fell in love with Ianto, he just happened to be a man. I've had relationships with women too...loved them I mean." Jack admitted candidly. There was a long silence. "I guess the real issue is how you feel about that. Ianto and me," he said finally, a fearful look on his face.

He was afraid, Donna realised incredulously, afraid she would be repulsed by his past relationship with Ianto, with him. The question was, how did she feel about it? She had always considered herself pretty conservative but only in herself. She didn't have a problem with other peoples' choices. If you loved someone, you loved someone, it just didn't matter. And she loved Jack. It was as simple as that. She couldn't have walked away from Jack now if her life depended on it.

"You looked very happy Jack," she said taking his hand in her own. "He must have been very special. Would you tell me about him?"

And Jack told her, not the whole of it of course. No mention of Torchwood or the 456 but the important stuff. Ianto's dry wit and obsession with good coffee. His gentle yet possessive determination to protect Jack from all the hurts of the world. How they had felt, what they had talked about, their plans and dreams. And he told her about Ianto's death, substituting a car accident for Thames House and the deadly virus, but telling her truthfully about how he felt as Ianto died in his arms. By the time Jack fell silent Donna was weeping too, partly out of pity for Jack but mostly for Ianto, a man she now felt she knew. Going too soon.

Afterwards they sat in silence for a long time, side by side, Donna unconsciously stroking Jack's hand. Finally she turned to look at Jack, her eyes wet, but her voice steady,

"I need to know Jack. Am I just here to help you get over Ianto? Because I'm not sure I can just be a shoulder to cry on," she paused taking a deep breath before saying the words which would change her life forever. "I love you too much."

There, it was said, the words irrevocably out there. Hesitantly she looked up at Jack waiting for some kind of reaction.

"Donna Noble, you are a remarkable woman," Jack said wonderingly. "I am so glad I met you." Then with a soft smile he leaned over and kissed her again, this time touching her face and hair as if she couldn't quite believe she was real. Donna's last coherent thought before she gave herself up to the moment was that he hadn't really given her an answer.

* * *

Sometime early in the morning, before dawn, Donna woke cocooned under a snowy white duvet which smelt tantalisingly of Jack's cologne. The impression of Jack's head still visible on the pillow he sat on the side of the bed pulling his braces up over his half tucked in shirt. Hearing her stir he turned and flashed her a cheeky grin,

"Ms Noble. Someday I'm going to find out where you learnt all that."

"One day, Mr Harkness, I might actually feel disposed to tell you!" she returned blithely, ignoring the surge of embarrassment as she recalled the nights' events. "But don't hold your breath."

Jack raised his eyebrows and leant over to kiss her briefly,

"I've got to go. See Gwen and the baby. It's a boy by the way. I'd ask you to come with me..." he trailed off.

Donna shook her head, "Not the time for big introductions. Private family time and all that. Call me later if you get chance. I need more kip. You look disgustingly awake for someone who's had an hours sleep." And with a blown kiss in the air she shimmied back down under the duvet. A moment later a muffled, "Love You. Drive safe," floated into the air.

Jack picked his car keys up from the bedside table and tossed them into the air catching them with a flourish. For the first time since the Doctor had found him he actually felt...well, happy. Even as he thought it he immediately felt a surge of gut wrenching guilt. He'd been unfaithful, he had betrayed Ianto. Even so he couldn't help whispering, "Love you too" as he left the room.

Under the duvet Donna smiled.

* * *

**I thought long and hard about whether Jack would tell Donna about Ianto. The old Jack definitely wouldn't have, but I see post-CoE Jack as emotionally damaged in a way that hasn't happened to him before, hence the confession. I am so looking forward to fixing him. As for Donna, I tried to make her react badly to the confession but the plot bunnies wouldn't co-operate and she would insist in writing herself as a voice of reason. Go figure...**


	5. Chapter 5

**********Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors note: Thanks again to everyone who has story alerted this. Also mega-thanks to Helen Pattskyn, Marzi and Monica-Ann for their reviews. I thought all the nice comments deserved the next two chapters posting. I'm going away overnight so I won't be able to post any more till Sunday night at the earliest. Enjoy x**

* * *

_Chapter V_

Gwen did not make a good patient. Less than twelve hours after a fifteen hour labour she was bemoaning, very loudly and liberally peppered with colourful expletives, her continued stay in hospital. Hearing the commotion from down the corridor Jack needed no help in finding Gwen's room. He strode in to find her, baby suckling at her breast, barking out orders to any unfortunate nurse who happened to come within shouting distance.

"Gwen Cooper – looking good!" he said appreciatively his eyes naturally falling to her exposed breast.

With an exasperated look Gwen adjusted her top to obscure the view.

"Put your eyes away Jack," she scolded. "These are the property of the babe for the moment. And Rhys I suppose, if he feels so inclined. Definitely not yours!"

"Lucky boys!" Jack commented enviously as he leant over to give her a kiss on the forehead. "Seriously though, are you OK? Rhys said you had a tough time."

"Jack, I work for Torchwood! Labour was...well bloody painful actually...but nothing I couldn't handle."

Jack cast a glance round the room decked out with cards, flowers and balloons. Gwen shook her head and grimaced, "I know, the family's gone crazy. Not to mention Rhys."

"Where is the husband anyway? I expected him to be hovering around doing the besotted daddy bit." Jack asked with a grin, understanding that all this fuss was not Gwen's thing.

"I sent him home," Gwen confessed with a guilty smile. "He was knackered poor love, and if we're honest, his fussing was driving me mad. Besides I wanted to see you alone."

Jack arched one of his perfect eyebrows. "Is my luck finally in?" he quipped. Gwen realised that, for the first time, she could treat the comment as the joke it was intended to be. Whatever feelings she had held for Jack had matured into the kind of deep affection you felt for a close relative, not a lover.

She smirked. "You wish! No, I want to talk to you about this mission you're on for the Doctor. First though I need to ask you a question." She glanced down at Jacks hand and the newly acquired ring. "That was in the letter?" she asked sadly. "From Ianto?"

Jack felt his eyes sting and nodded hurriedly. "He asked me to marry him. Can you believe it? From beyond the grave. I should have... well never mind."

Her own eyes filling with tears Gwen grabbed his hand and squeezed hard in understanding. At the sudden movement the baby gave a halting cry but fell silent at the touch of his mother's hand. There was a moment of silence broken only by the snuffling of the baby as it resumed its feed. Finally Gwen took a deep breath.

"Jack. Rhys and I, we've been talking. We want to call the baby Ianto Owen but only if it was OK with you. And we would like you to be a godfather. Would you Jack? We'd really love it if you could."

Jack lifted Gwen's hand and kissed it. "I think the name is perfect. Ianto would have been so proud, Owen too. I'm not sure what kind of example I'd set as a godfather. I'm not really the soul of moral discretion, but I would be honoured. There is just one thing though. How would you feel if I was his Uncle for a bit?"

"Er, what? Uncle...?" Gwen looked at Jack, her brow crinkling in confusion.

Surprisingly Jack flushed crimson. "I need you to pretend to be my sister," he muttered.

"Is this something to do with your mission for the Doctor?" she guessed. When Jack nodded she continued, "You better tell me then? Is it dangerous? I can't go running off saving the planet at the moment Jack, it'll play havoc with the feeding schedule." Although she spoke lightly, Jack could hear the tense undercurrent of fear in her voice.

"No, nothing like that. Strictly a hands-off, support role. Oh, and maybe a bit of boosting my image with a certain woman." Jack assured her.

Gwen shot him a sharp look. " What are you up to? What is the Doctor up to that he can't do himself? Why did you come back, Jack? I don't flatter myself it was for me, Rhys and the baby." She couldn't help the sharp note of bitterness that tinged her words. It still hurt that Jack had left them when she needed them most. That she hadn't been enough reason to stay.

Jack looked stricken. "Gwen. I know you can never forgive me for leaving. Please understand I thought I was doing the right thing. Everyone I touch dies. Tosh, Owen, Ianto. Steven. Even if I don't actually cause the deaths I still ruin peoples lives. I am dangerous to be around. I couldn't take the risk that I could lose you too. You mean too much. He means too much..." Jack stroked baby Ianto's head. "I thought if I left you would be safe. The Doctor made me realise I was wrong. The Earth will never be a safe place again. At least if I'm here I have a chance of doing something to keep it...keep you...safe. Basically the Doctor told me I was being a prat!" Jack's blue eyes looked directly into Gwen's silently pleading, if not for forgiveness, at least for understanding.

After a moment she gave a crooked smile. "You didn't need the Doctor to tell you that. I could have done it and saved him one hell of a manhunt," she admonished.

Jack let out the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. They were alright. Despite the hurt Jack knew Gwen was feeling, she was letting him know that she understood his motives and would not hold them against him.

"So," he said, his voice almost normal again. "The mission..."

Jack filled in Gwen with the news about Donna's fate, making her shake her head in disbelief and mutter how sad it was. But as he outlined the plans that the Doctor and he had made, her face became incredulous. What was Jack thinking, she thought disbelievingly. He was setting himself up for one hell of a fall. Not to mention Donna. She could understand what the Doctor wanted to do for Donna but the man must have a screw loose if he thought Jack was the right person to do the job. Jack was broken – completely and utterly – irrespective of the show he was putting on for the outside world. How could he give hope and purpose to another soul, when he was without hope himself? But as Jack continued to talk about Donna and their meetings so far Gwen noticed that his features had softened. Maybe the Doctor is clever than I gave him credit for, she admitted. She didn't know Donna, had never met her. She had only seen her image on the subwave network and heard of the incredible acts of courage that had quite literally saved all of reality. Maybe the Doctor wasn't trying to fix Donna, maybe he was trying to fix Jack. Perhaps Donna's purpose was to take care of Jack, and in turn be cared for by him. She couldn't help but feel a small twinge of jealousy grip her stomach as she realised that Donna may come to have a place in Jack's life that she never would, but she pushed it deep down and looked at Ianto with the sure knowledge that she had made the right decision.

Finally Jack ended his tale with the news that he had had to tell Donna that Gwen was his sister. He left out the bit after.

"So, what are you going to do now Jack? If you aren't careful you are going to end up hurting her very badly. People don't recover easily from loving you." Gwen looked pointedly at him. "And I should know!"

Jack shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I meant to be a friend, that was all, a mate. Build up her confidence, get her to make the most of her potential. Now it's got complicated. Very complicated."

"She loves you?" Gwen proffered.

"She says so. I don't know. She understands about me and Ianto," Jack confessed.

Gwen was stunned into silence. Jack had told Donna about Ianto? And he didn't realise how significant that was. Whatever Jack was saying, he clearly had deeper feelings for Donna than even he knew. Gwen thought carefully before she replied.

"Follow your instincts Jack. They are usually right...but be honest with her. Well, as honest as an immortal alien catcher who works for Torchwood can be. I'll happily play the doting sister. Bring her to meet me. I want to meet this woman!"

Jack gave her a grateful hug. "Can I have a hold of my godson then?" he said holding out his arms.

"Of course. Say hello to Uncle Jack, Ianto." Gwen smiled as she handed her son into his waiting arms.

Jack looked into the baby's blue eyes and felt his heart contract. Sometimes, just once in a while, there was a good day. Today was a good day. "Welcome to the world, Ianto Owen Williams."

Gwen smiled inwardly at the picture before her. "Jack," she warned gently. "Whether you know it or not you do love Donna. Don't cock this up."

Engrossed in his godson, Jack showed no sign of having heard her.

* * *

For the next two days Jack threw himself into overseeing the rebuilding of the Torchwood hub under Roald Dahl Plass. The giant crater had long since disappeared beneath slick new paving slabs and all the work was going on underground. Despite the extensive damage to the main control room, many of the lower levels of the Hub were relatively undamaged, including the level containing the vault with it's own internal power supply where past Torchwood operatives were interred. In the days immediately following the 456, Jack had searched alone through the debris of the Hub desperate to know if anything had survived. He had found Janet cowering in the corner of one of the cells but of Myfanwy there was no sign. Unsurprisingly the government was now backing Torchwood a hundred percent and were eager to get the organisation up and running again. The Hub could be fixed but the rest of it? Before he had left Jack had only cared about reinstating the Torchwood Hub in so much that he could lay Ianto to rest with his colleagues. Now he didn't know what to think. The rift was still there, the threat was still there. As Jack stepped through the new blast door into the Hub, he shivered. It might be a new structure but it was filled with old ghosts. He tried not to think of Tosh lying beneath his feet, or of the newly filled vault containing the body of Ianto. I'm not sure I can do this, he thought desperately. I'm not sure I'm brave enough. He had a sudden vision of Ianto, coffee in hand, suit and tie immaculate, admonishing him with a sly wink and a soft "I have every faith in you...sir."

On the way back to London Jack contemplated what Gwen had said. The bit he had pretended not to hear, although every word had rung mockingly in his ears. Loved Donna. It wasn't possible. He loved Ianto, would love him until the day he died. And he had every reason to expect that that day would never come. He had lost his soul mate and he would hold onto that grief with every fibre of his being, determined not to let Ianto's fears about merely being a blip in time come true. What he felt for Donna was different. He didn't know what it was. It was more than mere friendship, he could admit that. And he missed her, her caustic wit and quick temper, when she wasn't around. But it wasn't love, at least not the kind she wanted and deserved. She deserved more. He made a sudden decision. He would have to end it. Take the risk and hope that it didn't destroy her. The decision left him feeling strangely hollow inside, but he resolutely pushed the sensation aside and floored the SUV with a grim sense of purpose.

Donna wasn't at his flat when he got back. Not that he expected her to be. There was a folded piece of paper laid on the pillow of the freshly made bed and a bundle of baby clothes, tied with a blue ribbon, and sporting a tag, 'For Gwen and the baby'. Jack sat down heavily on the side of the bed. Was he really going to do this? Break this woman's heart again? He slowly picked up the paper and unfolded it.

Welcome home Captain

Hope you don't mind the baby stuff. Saw them and thought Gwen might like them. If you're not too tired when you get back, ring me. I think it's about time you met the family. Mum will hate you but Grandad Wilf will love you.

Love D x

P.S. Drop the sharp suits from now on. I much prefer the Captain Jack getup!

As he read Jack couldn't help but smile. It was just so Donna. And in that second he knew he couldn't do it. Couldn't consciously push Donna away. He would have to let it play out, at least for now. After all, he had such a long life to live. He could pretend for a while; to make her happy. To make the Doctor happy. To bury the pain, just for a little while. No-one would ever know he was falling apart, waiting to die, waiting to be with him again. Even though there was no-one to see it, Jack's mask of calm acceptance descended over his features as he pulled out his mobile phone and dialled Donna's number.

"Hiya sweetheart," he said cheerily as the phone was picked up. "Got your note."


	6. Chapter 6

**********Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Sorry this chapter is a bit short. It seemed only right to have an interlude of light hearted relief given the angst I'll be laying on in Chapter 7.**

* * *

_Chapter VI_

An hour later Jack's SUV pulled up outside Donna's house. As he got out, Donna opened the front door and hurried out to intercept him.

"It's about time you got here,"Donna remarked dryly, giving him a swift kiss on the cheek to take the sting from her words. "She's driving me demented."

"God save me from mothers!" he laughed backing away from the door.

"Oh no you don't flyboy. In you go..."Donna retorted as, with a hard shove, she propelled him through the door.

He came to a standstill in front of a disapproving sour-faced blond woman in her late fifties. As she gave him the full force of her scowl, he met her eyes and flashed her his most charming smile.

"Mrs Noble. Charmed," he said offering her his hand. Her eyes raked him up and down contemptuously, then she looked pointedly at his outstretched hand..

"Mr Harkness. An American." she said coldly, ignoring the friendly gesture.

Donna rolled her eyes in annoyance, "You could at least try to be polite, mum. It wouldn't kill you."

The woman turned on Donna, eyes blazing. "You gave me an hours notice Donna. What do you expect? Although why I should expect any consideration from you..." Sylvia Noble's voice trailed off as she saw the anger in Jack's face.

"Mrs Noble, please accept my sincere apologies," Jack said stiffly. Reaching behind him he grabbed Donna's hand and pulled her to his side, putting his arm around her waist. "Donna wasn't expecting me back today." Sylvia looked at Jack's stony face, his arm protectively around Donna and realised that Donna had finally found a protector. Taking the hint she gave a tentative half smile and asked him politely, if still a little coolly, whether he would like a drink.

"That would be great Sylvia," Jack asserted, allowing his face to ease into an easy smile.

Sylvia winced a little at the use of her first name, but covered it well and said quickly, "I'll just go put the kettle on."

From the living room came an indignant snort of disgust.

"That man doesn't want tea, my girl, get him a beer...and one for me too." Sylvia rolled her eyes in a gesture Jack recognised from her daughter, and with a long suffering sigh she disappeared into the kitchen.

"That," Donna said to Jack with a fond smile, "is my Grandad, Wilfred Mott."

At her voice an old man stuck his head round the living room doorway. "Is that you Donna darlin'? Are you going to introduce me to your young man?" Jack smirked. It was along time since anyone had referred to him as a young man. He decided he liked this man already.

"Grandad, this is Jack. I've told him all about you, so behave yourself!"Donna warned waving a finger at him.

Wilf stepped forward to take Jack's proffered hand. As his eyes focused on Jack's face, for a moment Jack could see a flash of alarm cross the old man's face and Wilf's eyes flickered skyward. Wilf took Jack's hand in both of his own and shook it firmly, looking him squarely in the eyes. Wilf knew him, Jack realised belatedly. Wilf knew the Doctor, the Doctor had told him, Jack now remembered. Wilf was keeping Donna safe, keeping her old life buried. Somehow Wilf had recognised him as a friend of the Doctor and he was scared for Donna, scared she would remember. They needed to talk, and soon.

Jack returned Wilf's gaze with an imperceptible nod. "Wilf," he acknowledged.

Before anyone could say anything Sylvia appeared in the kitchen doorway, a fixed smile on her face, bearing two opened bottles of beer.

"Dad, why don't you take Jack up to your allotment while Donna helps me with the tea. It'll be another half hour."

Donna was about to protest. She didn't think allotments were really Jack's thing and she was damned if she was going to let Jack be subjected to a Noble grilling from Wilf without her protection. She was stunned as Jack said "Sure," taking the two bottles from her mother and handing one to Wilf gestured for him to lead the way.

"Jack," she hissed under her breath. "You don't have to do this. Grandad's up to something..."

Jack gave her a squeeze, "I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

"Yes I can vouch for that," Donna replied sarcastically. " but you're going to pay for leaving me with my mother."

"Promises, promises..." Jack winked as he slipped through the front door.

* * *

The door had barely closed behind him when Wilf said anxiously, "I know you. You're a friend of the Doctor. I saw you on the screen, the Dalek thing, when that girl Rose was here. Is Donna alright...she isn't remembering or anything is she? Is it the Doctor? I know he's all alone now. Is he alright?"

Jack held his hand up to stem the flow of words.

"Donna's fine," he assured Wilf. "And the Doctor is fine..." he paused, "I mean he's lonely, he misses Donna, and Rose, but he's the Doctor, he'll be OK. Actually he's the reason I'm here." They set off up the street towards the allotments.

"What do you mean?" Wilf asked.

"It's difficult to explain. The Doctor – he was distraught when he had to wipe Donna's memories. All the wonderful things she'd done. He wants to make it up to her – needs to really. He wants to try and give her back the person she'd become. He says she needs an extraordinary life, earth bound but no less wonderful. He asked me to help; since he couldn't do it in person. I know it doesn't make much sense..." Jack trailed off aware of how inadequate his explanation was.

"No." Wilf shook his head. "It makes perfect sense. He's a wonderful man that Doctor. I knew he wouldn't leave the Donna the way she used to be. She was better with him. I know it and deep down she senses she's lost something wonderful. I'll help you anyway I can Jack. But God help you if you harm one hair on her wonderful head..."

"Wilf, I promise you I will do everything I can to protect Donna. I care about her too much to let anything happen to her." Jack said seriously.

Wilf looked into Jack's calm blue eyes and saw he was speaking the truth. "Here's to Donna," he said raising his bottle of beer.

"To Donna" Jack echoed as he clinked the neck of his bottle against Wilf's. Smiling they each took a long swig of beer.

"We'd better go rescue her," Wilf said wryly.

Jack nodded. "Apparently I'm going to pay for abandoning her for you and the allotment."

Wilf gave him a look of deepest sympathy. "You better finish that beer then Captain Harkness, Nobel women have many and varied ways of making you pay. All of them are more easily endured when you've had a few!"

* * *

**Chapter 7 coming soon. Tissues at the ready!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: As promised Chapter 7. I decided to combine my original chapters 7 and 8 into a single chapter because they were both rather short and as I'm not going to be able to update for a couple of days I didn't want to leave you hanging mid angst-fest. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I continue to get a shiver of pleasure at every one. I'm will reply to everyone but that pesky work stuff will mean I may not be as quick as I'd like. Anyway please enjoy (if that's the right word for the following chapter). Hankies out.**

* * *

_Chapter VII_

In the end they had a very pleasant dinner, even Sylvia thawed under Jack's non-stop charm offensive and when he offered to wash up, causing Donna to choke on her last mouthful of wine, she waved him and Donna away with a smile, telling them to 'go out and enjoy themselves'. From the glint in Sylvia's eye he was sure that she just wanted rid of them so she could interrogate Wilf about what was said at the allotment, but never one to look a gift horse in the mouth he and Donna made their hasty goodbyes and headed back to Jack's flat.

"I don't believe it. You had my mother eating out of the palm of your hand!" Donna crowed.

"It's the natural Harkness charm," Jack confessed with a smug look. "I have that effect on women."

"That's what worries me. Just make sure you direct it only at my mother...and me." Donna returned.

"So you're susceptible to my charms then?" Jack found himself asking. His tone was light but there was a hint of tension running underneath.

"I would have thought after the other night that was blatantly obvious." Donna half laughed although her voice wavered slightly. There was an uncomfortable silence. Finally Donna asked tentatively,

"Are we alright? We crossed a pretty big line the other night and I don't know what to do next. I haven't had much practice at this relationship stuff. There was only Lance and he didn't really count, what with him buggering off on the day of our wedding..." She trailed off helplessly, glad Jack could not see her face in the dark interior of the car. "I know I'm not making much sense."

"We play it by ear," Jack said gently reaching over with one hand and squeezing hers. "We see where this thing we have takes us." Jack knew Donna was looking for more reassurance. Those three little words which would convince her she was not alone in her feelings. He just wasn't ready to say them. He knew he liked being with her, missed her when they were apart. He could even admit that he needed her. But love? That was something for him and Ianto alone wasn't it? He had promised Ianto he would love him forever, never forget him. That he would never be just another blip in time. But by being with Donna wasn't he doing just that. Consigning Ianto to history, just one of those lost loves which were scattered throughout his existence.

"You're thinking about Ianto," Donna observed, her soft voice abruptly intruding into Jacks' thoughts. "You think you're betraying his memory by being with me." When Jack didn't deny the accusation she shook her head. "You're not ready for this," she continued sadly. "It's too soon and I'm not really sure you'll ever be ready. I understand. Really." She paused to take a deep shuddering breath. "I think you should take me home."

"Donna, I..." Jack began, then nodded and pulled an abrupt U-turn in the road. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Donna shook her head. "I can't compete with Ianto and I wouldn't want to."

Despite her words Jack could hear Donna's voice crack in the darkness as she fought to suppress the tears rolling down her face. Her misery tore at him but he couldn't say anything.

After several agonising minutes of silence punctuated only by the hum of the engine and Donna's stifled sobs Jack pulled up at the bottom of Donna's drive. Frantically Donna fumbled with the door latch trying to get out.

"Goodnight Jack" she gulped pushing the door open and scrambling out. "Goodbye." And without looking at him she scurried into the house. Jack stared for a long moment at the closed door, half hoping that she would come back out. The door stayed firmly closed. After a minute he put the SUV into gear and slowly pulled away.

* * *

Jack's dreams that night, when he finally fell asleep, were uneasy, jumbled images, familiar and yet alien as if they belonged to someone else. Tosh lying bleeding on the floor of the Hub. Gwen and Rhys on a dark hilltop begging him not to leave. Owen looking incredulously at the bullet hole in his chest as the life drained out of him. Gwen in her wedding dress, heavily pregnant, determined to marry Rhys no matter what. Gray looking down on him as John threw dirt on his face burying him alive for two thousand years. Weevils, Daleks, the Master, Martha, Rose, the TARDIS, the Doctor. A blur of memories threatening to drown him. Ianto, where was Ianto? The one memory he needed. And suddenly he was there, his blue eyes dark and serious and fixed on Jack's face, dressed in Jack's favourite dark suit with a purple tie. Looking so wonderfully alive.

Jack desperately wanted to say something but couldn't, scared that by speaking he would make the vision disappear. Ianto stepped forward, a nervous smile on his face, and held his hand towards him.

"Dance with me," he said softly, his voice carrying that trace of deadpan amusement Jack loved so much. "...Sir," he added, his smile suddenly mischievous.

Like a drowning man Jack seized Ianto's outstretched hand and pulled him into a crushing embrace, kissing him desperately, his hands greedily tangling in his hair as if he could somehow absorb Ianto's very being into his own. The strains of Paul Weller's 'You Do Something To Me' soared around them – the same music they had danced to at Gwen's wedding.

"I thought I'd lost you," Jack finally choked before burying his head in Ianto's neck breathing in the achingly familiar warm musky smell. "Please don't leave me again, Ianto."

"Can't happen," Ianto admonished gently into Jack's hair. "Whatever happens I'll always be here. Forever." He pulled away slightly and laid his hand on Jack's chest above his heart. Taking the older man's face in his hands he tilted his head down and kissed him with tender passion. "I love you," he murmured. Then he laid his head on Jack's shoulder, nuzzling against his neck as they swayed silently in time to the music.

"I love you Ianto" Jack whispered brokenly.

"I know," Ianto lifted his head and smiled at Jack. "I've always known." At that moment the song ended. As the last notes faded Ianto kissed Jack again, long and lingering, then caressed Jack's face with his fingertips, down his cheek until they rested momentarily on his lips.

"Time for a different tune," he murmured and stepped back out of the circle of Jacks' arms. "Please be happy." Frantically Jack tried to pull him back but his hand found nothing but empty air.

"No! Come back! Don't leave me!" he screamed sitting bolt upright in bed, the sheets around him soaked with sweat. He looked around frenziedly willing Ianto to be there beside him, but the room was empty and Jack was alone.

Grabbing Ianto's photograph from beside the bed he hugged it tight to his chest, his body racked with sobs. He didn't know how long he lay there cocooned in grief but as the sky outside the half drawn curtains began to lighten Jack lay, tears spent, looking at Ianto's face smiling at him from the picture. Incredibly as he stared at the image he felt the ache in his chest ease just a little.

"I think I get the message Yan," he said finally. "Not better, just different."

He pulled himself up, putting the photo back on the bedside table and stood up. He looked back at Ianto's smiling face.

"Just so you know, Yan. I will always love you. Forever. But right now I need Donna. I don't know why but I do. Wish me luck Yan. Let's hope I haven't screwed this up irreparably."

Jack knew it was his imagination but took comfort in the calm voice which seemed to reply, "Good luck sir. Not that you'll need it."

* * *

After leaving Jack, Donna had whirled through the house, the shocked faces of Sylvia and Wilf just blurs through the haze of tears. Ignoring them she ran to the safety of her bedroom, slamming the door behind her in that _'Don't you even think about coming in here'_ way she had perfected as a teenager. There in the darkness she had flung herself on the bed and wept as if her heart would break. No. Her heart had broken. She couldn't survive this, she thought dully. Somehow in the few short weeks she had known him he had become the purpose of her life. The old selfish Donna, the one she hid behind to protect herself from the world, had been driven out by her need to take care of him, make him happy, love him. She was sure he had feelings for her, loved her in his way, but not the way she wanted. He would never look at her with that particular expression in his blue eyes the way he did when he looked at that picture of Ianto, or had spoken of him. It wasn't Jack's fault. It wasn't hers. She knew now she would only ever love Jack Harkness and Jack would only ever love Ianto. That was just the way it was. If anyone could be blamed it was the Lords of Fate who had decided they should meet in the first place, decreed that Ianto should be taken too soon. Yes, Donna thought savagely, Fate can take the blame. The problem was, knowing who to blame didn't make it hurt any less.

Finally exhausted, she fell into a troubled sleep haunted by dreams of the tall skinny man in the brown suit. He cocked his head to one side, flashed her a wide twinkling smile and said cheerily, "Trust me Donna. When have I ever let you down. It's all part of the plan. And believe me it's a brilliant plan. 'Course it is. It's my plan and I'm brilliant. Even if I do say so myself!" Then he grinned again, rammed his hands into his pockets and was gone.

* * *

Donna was woken by a gentle but insistent knocking at her door.

"Donna, sweetheart. Are you alright?" Wilf's worried voice tentatively enquired. "I've got a cup of tea for you darlin'"

Despite her misery Donna couldn't help but smile. In Grandad's world a cup of tea solved everything. Even broken hearts. Her smile wobbled as tears threatened again. Brushing them away with the back of her hand she quickly called for Wilf to come in, in what she hoped was a calm voice. In the next moment she had been enveloped in her Grandads' arms, comforting her in a way he had not done since she was a little girl skinning her knee.

"What's that man done?" Wilf muttered angrily. "I warned him what I would do if he ever hurt you. Less than twelve hours it took..."

"Grandad!" Donna cut him off. "It wasn't Jack it was me. I broke it off. There's stuff you don't know about him. Things I can't explain." She pleaded with him to understand. "It's better this way. Really." Her words sounded unconvincing even to her own ears.

Wilf looked at her sceptically. Whatever Jack Harkness had done, Donna was covering up for him. Maybe he'd had to run off back to the Doctor, or perhaps Donna had got too close to finding out something that would cause her to remember. Either way it was probably better that he'd gone, even if Donna was suffering now. He saw the pleading look in her eyes and decided he'd be better saying nothing so he simply pushed the mug of tea he was holding into her hands. Gratefully Donna took a sip, letting the hot sweet liquid warm her. She grimaced.

"Grandad. Exactly how many sugars did you put in this tea?"

"Six," Wilf replied promptly. "Hot sweet tea. Best thing for shock."

"Right," Donna took another sip and grimaced again. "Well next time..."

Whatever Donna was about to say next was lost under the sound of someone hammering loudly and persistently on the front door. Donna scrambled off the bed to look out of her window which overlooked the front of the house, whilst Wilf started to head for the stairs cursing under his breath about the earliness of the hour. Looking down Donna saw Jack on the doorstop looking through the glass by the side of the door. As if sensing her gaze he looked up, saw her face and shouted her name.

Sylvia put her head round the bottom of the stairs, "It's that man of yours Donna. God knows what the neighbours will think banging on the door like that at this time of the morning" Her voice was tinged with impatience.

"It's alright mum, Grandad. I'll get it." Donna called back, her heart beating wildly. "Please Grandad!" She added, sensing Wilf was about to open the door and swing for Jack.

Donna reached for her dressing gown, then realised with surprise she was still in last nights clothes. For one wild moment she worried what Jack would think if he saw her like this, then with a pang of despair realised it didn't matter what Jack thought anymore. Numb, she walked slowly down the stairs concentrating on trying to breath. Outside Jack was still banging on the door with his fist, urgently calling her name. She paused behind the door, took a deep breath, and opened it wide assuming a defensive stance, legs braced, arms folded, eyes flashing. It didn't fool Jack, the almost ghostly pallor and tired, red eyes spoke volumes.

"What are you doing here Jack?" she asked immediately, wanting to get the first word in before her nerve gave out. She was amazed at how calm her voice sounded.

"I need to talk to you," Jack pleaded.

"I don't think there is anything left to talk about," Donna argued tiredly. "It's done. We're done"

"No." Jack said hotly. "I know I didn't say the right things last night, but I need you to know that I do love you."

Tears sprang to Donnas' eyes and she put her hand out to keep Jack away as he took a step towards her.

"No, you don't," she choked. "You're just afraid of being alone. That's not love."

Jack grasped Donna's outstretched hand and held it tightly as she struggled to free herself.

"You're wrong. I was wrong," Jack explained pleadingly. "I thought I was betraying Ianto by being in love with you. But I'm not. He would want me to be happy. And I am happy when I'm with you Donna."

"I don't know Jack," Donna replied uncertainly. "I know you still love Ianto."

"I do. A part of me will always love Ianto. But I'm in love with you too. The love Ianto and I shared, it's part of me, part of what makes me who I am, but it's not better than what I feel for you. It's just different. It's like you're the two halves I need to make a whole. I know that sounds like something from a bad American soap opera, and I know I'm not making much sense – if any – but you have to believe me when I say I love you, I need you and I want you to be with me." Jack paused, looking expectantly for some indication of what Donna was thinking. "Will you be with me? Please?"

Donna stared into his blue eyes and saw a look which made her heart leap. It wasn't the look Jack reserved for Ianto, it was one that belonged solely to her. She hadn't thought it was possible that someone could love two people at the same time, equally and fully. But Jack could. Jack needed someone to love and protect him and he needed to love and protect someone back. First it had been Ianto's job, now it was hers. It was suddenly clear and real and wonderful. Slowly a smile of wonderment spread across her face.

"Yes Captain!" she replied with a cheeky if somewhat teary wink.

* * *

**Less angst in the next chapter, I promise - well there might be a smidge but nothing you can't handle (winks cheekily)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Thanks again to MizScarlet, Marzi and Helen Pattskyn for their marvellous reviews and insights. Sorry this has taken so long to update. If it's any consolation I've been wrestling with a critical chapter (coming soon to a screen near you) which persists in writing itself contrary to all my best efforts to lead it down it's intended path. Bad plot bunnies!**

* * *

_Chapter VIII_

Gwen spluttered sharply sending a mouthful of hot coffee streaming across the appropriately named coffee table. Next to her on the sofa Rhys, who was gently patting baby Ianto on his back to try and elicit a burp, stopped abruptly hand mid-pat. Across the room Jack shuffled his feet like a guilty schoolboy caught in the act and smiled apologetically.

"Bloody hell," swore Rhys in amazement.

"Married!" Gwen coughed again, cutting across Rhys's pronouncement. Rhys abandoned the light tap on Ianto's back he had been about to deliver and instead thumped Gwen hard across the shoulders. She turned and glowered at him eyes glinting dangerously causing Rhys to draw back defensively. As Gwen caught her breath she turned back to Jack and continued, "That's...er...sudden." seizing on the first available word that wasn't a derogatory comment on Jack's mental faculties.

Jack shrugged. "It seemed like the right thing to do. You told me to follow my instincts."

"Yeah, but married Jack? Married? I mean you've known her for all of six weeks. I can't believe this is what the Doctor had in mind. Not to mention there is that whole 'till death us do part' bit? I mean I think the whole immortal husband situation might be enough to trigger those memories we've all been trying so hard to keep buried!" Gwen scoffed. What she really wanted to yell was, why her? Why not me? Even though she'd made her choice it still felt like a knife to the gut. When it had been Ianto who was the competition for Jack's affections she could tell herself that it was because Ianto was a man and despite Jack's ability to make love with either sex, or any species if truth be told, Jack was essentially gay. She had taken comfort in the knowledge that she was the only woman in his life. But now there was Donna and no matter how wonderful she was, no matter how happy Gwen was with Rhys, there was a part of her that resented that Donna was the woman who had managed to connect with Jack and not her.

"What about Ianto?" she blurted out, instantly ashamed of the impulse to wound Jack. And she had wounded him, deeply. She could see it in his eyes as he looked at her.

Jack didn't pretend to misunderstand what she meant. "Ianto is dead," he said, more harshly than he intended.

Tears stung Gwen's eyes seeing the pain on Jack's face.

"I know, I'm sorry..." she started anxious to put things right between them. She looked at him imploringly. "I just need to understand."

Jack let his anger and hurt dissipate with a long controlled breath. It was not Gwen's fault. He'd presented her with a situation which shook the very foundation of their friendship with no warning. Knowing Ianto as she had, how could he expect Gwen not to feel he was betraying him when he still felt it himself. He had to try and make her understand, he couldn't be at odds with her.

"It's hard to explain..." he began.

"Try Jack." Her darks eyes flashed a warning. "The time for that famous secretive Harkness evasion technique is long gone."

"OK. You're going to think I'm crazy though."

"Nothing new there, then" Rhys interjected earning another fierce look from Gwen. God, she was really riled, Jack thought wincing inwardly. He smiled at Rhys's crestfallen expression and said,

"My previous insanity pales into insignificance besides this," he confirmed. There was a long pregnant pause. "I think it's my destiny to marry Donna Noble." he said finally. Noting Gwen's now incredulous look he continued.

"I think it's got something to do with future events and the Doctor knows what they are. Listen, Dalek Khan manipulated the time lines to get the Donna together with the Doctor so she could become the Doctor-Donna, create the other half-human half-Time Lord Doctor and destroy the Dalek race." He paused for breath.

"OK, I know that Jack," Gwen cut in impatiently, "but I don't see what that has to do with marrying Donna."

"Let the man finish, love," Rhys said quietly putting a restraining hand on her arm. Gwen looked as if she were about to say something, then subsided contenting herself with a mutinous look.

"What if the Doctor decided to manipulate the time lines himself," Jack continued. "It's a big Time Lord no-no of course, but maybe the Doctor thinks it's necessary. I think he's trying to put things right and I'm pretty sure this marriage to Donna is part of that."

Gwen now looked genuinely confused. She knew enough about the Doctor now to know that with him involved anything was possible but it still didn't make sense. "But if that was the case why didn't he just ask you outright to marry Donna. He didn't specifically ask you to get involved with her did he?"

"No, but he knows me, knows my style. Normally he's always warning me off flirting with his companions. This time he asks me to personally help Donna and tells me to 'surprise' him. He's a devious sod."

Gwen found herself nodding in agreement but said tightly, "It still sounds a bit far-fetched to me, Jack."

Jack knew she was right but there was no way he was going to tell her that Ianto had come to him in a dream and given him his blessing. Then she really would think he was crazy, and worse would start doubting his judgement.

"Maybe," he said finally, "but I trust the Doctor and I need to see how this will play out. I know this is too soon after Ianto but something in here tells me time is of the essence." He thumped the centre of his chest. Gwen suppressed a snigger at his Tarzan-like gesture, but she lost all desire to laugh at his next words.

"I have to do this and..." he said very quietly, "I really need her Gwen. Please understand."

Gwen stared at Jack for a long moment trying to read his expression which, as usual was shuttered, although his eyes bored into hers. Beside her baby Ianto was making small snuffling noises as if he was trying to break the air of tension. Finally Gwen's expression softened and she said slowly,

"Alright Jack, if that's what you want." Then she grinned unexpectedly, "Jack Harkness, the married man, wonders will never cease!"

Jack thought of all the old photographs he'd once cherished destroyed in the explosion in the Hub, picturing his old loves, his wife who'd died long ago who he'd never told anyone about apart from the Doctor. He crossed the room and hugged Gwen tightly whispering in her ear,

"Thank you."

* * *

Donna looked down at the plain platinum band on the third finger of her left hand in wonderment. Married, she was actually married. As of ten thirty that morning she was officially Mrs Jack Harkness. No big white dress, church service and overblown reception like there had been with Lance. Just her and Jack, Grandad and her mum in Chiswick Registry Office, Jack in his greatcoat, her in the purple dress he loved and two rings. One for her, and one for Jack to wear alongside his other ring. Before the ceremony he had started to remove it but she had stopped him. Somehow it seemed right that Jack should have both Ianto's ring and her own, side by side.

She looked out of the window of the SUV through the darkness at the curtained window of Gwen and Rhys's flat. It seemed like hours since Jack had gone in to break the news in person. With a cold sinking feeling which owed nothing to the falling temperature inside the car Donna realised that over an hour had passed, which meant Gwen must be taking the news badly. Very badly indeed. She clenched her fists to try and stop the threatening tears from surfacing.

There was a sudden flurry of movement outside the SUV making Donna squeak in alarm as the door was pulled open by a dark haired woman Donna recognised from Jack's photo as Gwen.

"Donna!" she said smiling as she peered inside the car. "Come inside quickly before you catch your death. God, Jack is a prat. He's only just mentioned you were down here. Bloody typical man. Bugger all consideration for womenfolk. I'm Gwen by the way," she added, almost as an afterthought.

Donna grinned as she clambered out of the car dragging her handbag and a carrier full of presents after her.

"It's lovely to finally meet you. Jack talks about you, Rhys and Ianto all the time. Sorry to turn up unannounced and give you such a shock..." Donna winced aware that she was babbling and mortified at how nervous she sounded.

"It's a very Jack thing to do," Gwen said simply with a distinct edge as she ushered Donna into the house.

* * *

Half an hour later comfortably seated on the sofa next to Jack nursing a large glass of wine Donna felt as if she'd known Gwen for years. Superficially different in every way they had discovered a shared passion - taking the piss out of Jack - and an easy camaraderie Donna had never felt with another woman. For Gwen's part she was surprised by how much she liked Donna. Gutsy, no nonsense, not afraid to speak her mind and not awed by Jack's sheer force of presence. She caught glimpses of the depth of feeling beneath the cocky exterior and could see why the Doctor and Jack thought she was worth saving. And she loved Jack. Every look, every light touch of her hand on his leg spoke volumes. Gwen realised she was glad. Glad that Jack could love someone who could love him freely in return.

"So Gwen, what do you do when you're not being a full time mum?" Donna enquired cheerfully, the wine taking the edge off her inhibitions. She took a swig of wine so missing the volume-filled look that passed between Jack, Gwen and Rhys.

"I...er...work for the police," Gwen replied. "Special ops."

"God. Isn't that dangerous?" Donna asked awed.

"Sometimes. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. But most of the time it's just routine. Lots of surveillance and stuff." It was as near to the truth as Gwen could manage without mentioning aliens and rift activity.

"It sounds exciting," Donna sighed wistfully. "And at least it is something worthwhile." She couldn't help the sour note entering her voice. "It certainly puts my job in perspective. What am I? A bloody secretary, that's all. Hardly a job of national importance." She shook her head apologetically. "Sorry, didn't mean to go off on one. It's a bit of a sore point that's all."

"Why don't you change career?" Gwen asked cautiously. "You know, retrain or something?"

"Yeah right. And do what exactly?" Donna asked her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I hardly have two qualifications to rub together. I'm not really brain surgeon material."

"Donna..." Jack interrupted soothingly but Donna waved him aside.

"Button it, Jack! I know my limitations. I'm a secretary, a temp. I might be the best temp in Chiswick – a hundred words a minute – but I'm just a temp."

Gwen looked askance at Jack who glanced sideways at Donna and then gave her an imperceptible shrug of resignation and suddenly her temper flared.

"That's bollocks. You're telling me that the woman who was smart enough to snare the mighty Jack Harkness into matrimony isn't clever enough to do any damn well thing she sets her mind to. You're selling yourself short and you know it. Give up work, go back to school, Jack earns enough to support both of you. He'll back you. Won't you Jack?" She looked accusingly at him.

"Absolutely," Jack replied hurriedly sensing Gwen was on a mission she wasn't about to give up any time soon.

In her seat Donna bubbled with indignation. She hated being ganged up on. She already knew Jack was a force to be reckoned with and it looked like Gwen was cut from the same cloth. What made it worse was she knew Gwen was right. All her life she'd been convinced that she wasn't good enough, wasn't clever enough. The only thing that was stopping her from taking control of her life was fear.

She considered biting back the rude retort she was itching to make. No, to hell with that, it had to be said.

"Do I get any say in this, or do you two want to write my letter of resignation now? Last time I looked I was an adult. I think I can be trusted to make my own life choices. I married your flash American git of a brother, didn't I? Don't you think that's enough dodgy decisions for one week." Her tone was mocking.

Gwen looked at Donna aghast, her eyes flitting between Donna's stormy countenance and Jack's rather shell-shocked expression. It wasn't an expression she was used to seeing on his face. She decided she was rather enjoying his discomfiture.

"So I'm an American git, am I?" he said, his voice faltering and unsure.

"Don't forget the flash part, that's the most important bit," Donna corrected him cheekily her tone and expression softening. God, she loved winding him up. "That's the reason I married you." The last part was accompanied by a saucy wink.

Jack let out a relieved sigh. "I thought it was my dazzling smile, charm and devastating good looks," he retorted feigning disappointment.

"They helped," Donna conceded with a grin. "but, it was mainly the flash bit. That and the sex."

Gwen coughed sending, for the second time that evening, a spray of coffee across the lounge.

"Sorry," Donna apologised, turning faintly red. "Too much information."

"No, it's fine," Gwen assured her hurriedly with a smile. Jack was really going to have his hands full with this one. "It's Jack. It's what I've come to expect." She paused and then continued more seriously, "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you about the job thing."

"I'll think about it, OK?" Donna promised, although her face became mutinous.

Seeing her expression Gwen laughed. "Alright, I'll shut my gob. It's not really any of my business anyway."

Donna allowed herself to smile in reply.

"You might have noticed. but I'm kinda known for having a bit of a gob on me myself."

Jack threw his head back and roared with laughter. Women! You just had to love 'em.

* * *

An hour later as they were leaving Gwen drew Jack to one side. "I like her Jack, I really do and I think you'll be good for each other."

"I think so too." he replied smiling easily.

"But Jack," Gwen's voice sharpened with concern. "What I said before, about the whole 'till death do us part' bit... I was serious. In a few years time, when she's aging and you're not. What are you going to say? Good genes will only get you so far..."

"I don't know. I'm going to have to figure it out. Eventually."

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors note: OK, first. Thanks to everyone who's added me to their story alerts and favourite stories. It means a lot. Also I want to reassure people that there is method in my madness. All will be right with the world, eventually. Read and review, pretty pretty please ;)**

* * *

_Chapter IX_

Much later in the early hours of the morning Donna lay with her head resting on Jack's chest, arms snaked around his middle. She said his name tentatively not sure whether he was awake or not.

"Mmmm. What's the matter?" he replied sleepily.

"Nothing. I just wanted to say how glad I am I met you."

Jack's arms tightened possessively around her shoulders. "Me too."

There was a comfortable silence, Jack stroking Donna's hair contentedly, entwining his fingers through the red silken strands.

"Jack?" Donna asked again.

"Mmmm?"

"I've been thinking about what Gwen said. About going part time at work so I can go to college? I I decide to do it I'll still pay my way. I don't want charity." Her voice was challenging. Daring Jack to disagree.

Jack pulled Donna up so her face was level with his.

"It's not charity. We're married. That means I share what I have with you and you share what you have with me," he reasoned.

"Yeah, but let's face it I don't have a whole lot to share. It's could be perceived as just a tad one-sided," countered Donna.

Jack rolled his eyes with impatience. "God, you're stubborn and daft sometimes Mrs Harkness."

"Oi, watch who you're calling daft flyboy!" she fired back, vaguely stung by his words.

Jack took Donna's face in his hands. "Donna Harkness I love you!" he practically shouted back. "I love you and I want you to be happy. You'll never be happy being a secretary all your life. You're capable of doing so much more and you know that too. I can help you. I want to help you. Please let me."

He turned a puppy dog pleading expression towards her, batting his long eyelashes. Ones she would still happily kill for she admitted as she reluctantly started to giggle.

"Oh, if you insist!" she muttered in a tone that gave the impression of begrudging defeat.

Jack chuckled and pulled her close for a lingering kiss.

"If I'd known that all I had to do was flutter my eyelashes to get you to come around to my way of thinking I'd have tried it long ago."

"Well, they are great eyelashes," Donna commented running her fingertips over the subjects in question before dropping her fingers to his face and caressing his cheeks. "And the bone structure is quite something too..."

Jack caught her hand and kissed it, kissed the ring on her finger, then turning over her hand he kissed her palm sending a delicious shudder through to her core.

"Just for the record Mrs Harkness," he said as he began to place warm open mouthed kisses up the inside of her arm. "The only thing I want from you is you. I'm pretty sure I'm getting the better deal."

"Only pretty sure?" Donna breathed, barely able to speak through the sensations Jacks caresses were unleashing.

"Absolutely positive," he corrected with a wicked smile. His mouth moved from her arm to her neck eliciting a whimper Donna barely recognised as coming from her own lips. "Of course," he whispered into her neck, "there's nothing wrong with double checking..."

* * *

When Jack awoke the sunlight slanting through the hastily drawn curtains told him the morning was well advanced. Carefully he slid out from under Donna's arm, still curled around his waist, picked up his discarded shirt and pants from the floor and slipped silently from the room retrieving his mobile from the bedside table as he passed. In the living room he dressed quickly, scribbled a note – 'Gone to buy breakfast. Back soon. Love J x' – on the back of an envelope and crept back into the bedroom to leave it on the pillow next to Donna. Grabbing the keys to the SUV he let himself out of the apartment and headed off to find a deserted car park where he could make the phone call he was dreading. Finding an empty car park at eleven am on a Saturday morning proved harder than he thought. After several abortive attempts he finally found the unoccupied top story of an office building car park, he pulled the SUV up the edge where he had an unobstructed view of the river and dialled the number.

The phone rang just once then there was a sharp click.

"Doctor," Jack began before realising with dismay that the answering voice was a recording. He'd got through to a bloody Time Lord answering machine!

"This is the Doctor. I'm a bit...well...tied up at the moment. You know, with Sontarans or Daleks or Slitheen or something. Saving the world though. I can absolutely guarantee I'm saving the world – or having a cup of tea – anyway I'm sure you'll understand. Please leave a message after the beep and don't forget to include planet of origin and full galactic time reference, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Despite his disappointment Jack chuckled and waited for the beep. After a moment the Doctor's voice said, "Oh, sorry, there doesn't appear to be a beep. OK. Beeeeeeeeep."

"Doctor. It's Jack I need to talk to you urgently, you know about what. By the way, an answering machine? Not exactly a shining example of Time Lord brilliance..." He hung up and leant back in the seat unsure of whether to wait or head back to Donna and risk having to field the phone call in the apartment. Before he could make a decision his phone rang, the caller display reading 'Doctor'. He let it ring, once, twice, then taking a deep breath he pressed the answer button.

"What do you mean not Time Lord brilliance? An answering machine that works across all time and space? I would call that pretty damn brilliant actually." The Doctor said indignantly without waiting for Jack to speak. He took a breath.

"Hello, Doctor" Jack interjected before the Doctor could launch into his next sentence.

"Hello, Jack. What have you been up to? To what do I owe the pleasure of this call? Have you news about the fair Miss Noble?" The Doctors tone although light was tinged with something else, anticipation maybe. Jack shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yes. I feel I should tell you Donna is no longer Miss Noble," he hedged evasively.

"A-ha. I see. I take it she's got herself hitched. To someone nice I hope. She always did look lovely in white." The Doctors tone was now amused. "Go on then, Jack. Who's she married?"

"Er...me." Jack confessed sheepishly.

"Really? The divine Donna Harkness. Excellent. Congratulations, Jack. That'll do nicely." The Doctor's tone now reeked of smug satisfaction.

"I knew you had this all planned out!" Jack retorted indignantly. "What are you up to Doctor? Why is it so important that I married Donna Noble?"

The Doctor tutted. "You know I can't tell you that Jack. Spoilers. All will become clear eventually...I hope."

"You're playing with lives Doctor, mine and Donna's. It isn't right." Jack protested sharply.

"Look. Are you happy with Donna? Is she happy with you?" the Doctor asked exasperatedly.

"Well yes, but..."

"But nothing. Accept the window of happiness for what it is Jack. It doesn't matter how it came about or whether it serves a greater purpose. Just enjoy it. Goodbye Jack" Without waiting for Jack's words of farewell the Doctor hung up.

Jack looked at the mobile phone in his hand.

"Just enjoy it. OK I can do that."

He started up the SUV and pulled away, smiling broadly. He needed flowers, orange juice, croissants and to get home to Donna before she had chance to get out of bed. He fully intended to rejoin her there for the rest of the day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Thank you to everyone who has read this ****1,973 hits and 672 visitors to date (Woohoo!). It makes me soo happy. I hope everyone is enjoying my dip into the post-CoE Universe.**

**I'm going to apologise for this chapter now. When I came to reread it last night it seemed a bit more like filler than I remembered, an excuse to let Donna and Jack have a bit of a life together, and also to set Donna up for the future. Besides it's too tiring lurching from one angsty crisis to the next. Maybe I'll term it breathing space instead. Anyway see what you think. Reviews make me happy and more in the mood to add Janto fluffiness...**

* * *

_Chapter X_

So Jack and Donna did the married thing. Donna moved out of her mum's house, Jack out of the cold unfeeling penthouse apartment and together they moved into a house in Notting Hill. Initially Donna had felt a shiver of unease wondering how they could possibly afford it, but Jack had waved her concerns aside and any doubts were soon dispelled by the kick of living in such a trendy area. They bought curtains (dark charcoal grey – his choice) and cushions (deep purple - hers), argued fiercely over wallpaper (for the first time Donna understood about the concept of great make-up sex), and chose crockery patterns (white with black abstract trim – agreed to be the lesser of several floral evils). To Jack it all seemed slightly unreal, so at odds with his life at Torchwood. His trips to Cardiff were becoming more frequent and his daily routine of Weevil hunts and investigating rift activity spikes and alien artefacts was now punctuated with phone calls telling him not be late home for dinner or to pick up some milk on his way back. And Jack loved it. He could see for the first time why Gwen had been so determined to keep Rhys, have some semblance of a normal home life, even if it was snatched between moments of impending alien invasion.

Donna had thrown herself into the role of wife with undisguised relish. Determined to be the perfect wife, she cooked and cleaned, made sure the fridge was stocked with Jack's favourite brand of beer, always made her face up before greeting him at the door every evening when he came home from work, and never nagged him. At first Jack was amused, but as the weeks passed it started to worry him more and more. Donna Noble was disappearing and he didn't like it. The final straw came one night when he got home in the early hours of the morning after a particularly lengthy but eventually fruitful Weevil hunt. Expecting to find the house in darkness he had pulled up outside to see the lights blazing. As he got out of the SUV Donna had opened the door, fully dressed, cold beer in hand as if it were six o'clock in the evening. Donna reached up and kissed him on the lips pushing the beer into his hand.

"Hiya," she said pulling back. "Did you have a good day? Dinner will only be a minute." Her voice was determinedly cheerful.

Jack looked at her askance.

"Donna. It's nearly three in the morning. What are you doing up? I said I'd be late."

"Yes, but I thought you probably wouldn't get chance to eat. Besides isn't this what wives do?" Ah, sarcasm. Albeit a bit watered down, Jack mused. Maybe the Donna he knew was still in there after all.

"Only in Stepford," he commented sharply. Donna's face hardened. Immediately contrite Jack pulled her to him with a groan,

"I'm sorry. I appreciate the dinner, really, but you didn't have to. Come on let's go inside. We need to talk." Without giving her chance to reply he ushered her inside. He fell onto the sofa and pulled her awkwardly down sideways onto his lap so he could look into her face.

"What are you doing Donna?" he asked quietly concern etched across his face.

"I would have thought that was obvious. Trying to be a good wife," Donna enunciated each word through clenched teeth.

"And you think waiting up to three am, making me dinner every night, never nagging and waiting on the doorstep with a cold beer every time I come home means you're a good wife?" he suggested.

Hearing it said like that Donna began to see how ridiculous it seemed,

"No sunshine, it makes me a great wife," she replied with a flash of her old spirit. "And don't you forget it."

Jack grinned, "That's better. I was beginning to think Donna Noble had been replaced by an evil doppelgänger." His face turned serious again. "Look sweetheart. Don't get me wrong, I love it that you want to be the perfect wife for me, but I married Donna Noble, a bolshy..." Donna gave him a warning glance. "...mouthy..." The look was now glacial, her eyes blazing. "...flame-haired goddess," Jack continued quickly aware he was on borrowed time, "...not some insipid Daisy May home-maker. Besides I love arguing with you – well the making-up part anyway."

Donna slapped him affectionately around the head then put her arms around his neck and rested her forehead on his.

"I just wanted to do it right, you know?"

"I know. I love you." Jack gave her a long lingering kiss. "Should we eat that dinner then, since you went to all the trouble of cooking it?"

"I suppose. Not really that hungry though. Too knackered. Some bloke I married kept me up 'till three in the morning."

"I better let you get to bed then. Let me help you upstairs." Jack offered seductively.

"By the way husband dearest, don't think you can charm your way out of paying for that bolshy comment. I have a very, very, long memory and quite an imagination." Donna purred.

"Promises, promises!"

Donna smirked and allowed herself to be carried upstairs. It would be worth the price of the new casserole dish she would have to buy tomorrow.

* * *

A couple of days later Jack got home to find Donna, perched on a stool at the kitchen counter, a pile of brochures in front of her. Her hair was wound in an untidy knot on the top of her head secured with a pencil, and a second was clamped firmly between her teeth whilst she scribbled on a pad with a third. Her back to him, she was unaware of his presence and he stood for a moment smiling, committing the scene to memory. Then he strode over, his movements silent and catlike, leant down and kissed the exposed back of her neck. Donna shrieked, the pencil clattering onto the counter, and span round on the stool accidentally smacking Jack across the side of his head with her hand.

"Ow!" Jack yelped, stumbling backwards clamping his hand to the injured side of his face.

"Serves you right, you stupid git, creeping up on someone like that," retorted Donna rubbing her hand briskly. "I thought you were a bloody burglar."

"I doubt a burglar would have kissed your neck." Jack argued, his face smarting.

"Depends on the burglar I would imagine." Donna pulled his hand away and looked at Jack's face critically. "Well I can't see any damage, no scars to mar the perfection of your face." She rolled her eyes. "My god, you are so vain. Anyway I think you'll live."

Jack's stomach gave an uneasy lurch at the comment but he smiled. "Guess so. So what were you so engrossed in. Love the new look by the way. Very studenty."

Donna narrowed her eyes defiantly.

"They're college brochures," she admitted. "I've been thinking about what Gwen said and I'm going to do it. Go back to college I mean."

Jack's face lit up.

"Donna, that's wonderful. What do you want to do?"

"I want to train to be a teacher. Don't you dare laugh!" she warned, her eyes bright, challenging his.

Jack took her hands in his own and kissed them. "I think it's a brilliant idea. You'll make a fabulous teacher. What subject?"

Donna looked sheepish. "Now you really will laugh. Either that or think I'm crazy. Maths."

Jack couldn't help it. He looked at her incredulously. To his surprise she didn't berate him, or slap him, or subject him to any other form of Donna Noble reprisal.

"I said you'd think I was crazy. I used to be crap at maths, I mean I could do the necessary but I could never get my head round all that algebra and stuff," Donna explained. "But since I had that episode I told you about, it just seems to have clicked in my head. I didn't really notice it at first, just when I was watching Countdown repeats and found I getting the maths challenges right every time, or there was some financial bloke on talking figures and I knew how to get the answer. But then I got curious, so I went to the library and got out some maths text books. And I understand them, Jack, I actually get it now. So I thought I should make use of it." Donna grinned at him triumphantly.

Jack forced himself to grin back at her as he felt a very real frisson of fear run down his spine. It didn't take a genius to guess where Donna had got her new found maths knowledge from. It would take a genius to answer the question of whether this meant she was starting to remember her past. The frisson of fear became a tight knot in Jack's stomach as he realised there might be a very real chance he could lose her. He needed to contact the Doctor. Now.

Leaving Donna pouring over the brochures once more, Jack ran upstairs two at a time and locked himself in the bathroom. The phone was out of his pocket and the number dialled even before he'd finished locking the door. He slumped down on the toilet seat. On the fourth ring the Doctor picked up, no answering machine this time, Jack thought gratefully.

"Jack!" the Doctor chirruped. "How's married life? I'm just taking tea on Veltraxia. Lovely planet, seven moons one for each colour of the rainbow. Makes for a fabulous night sky..."

The Doctor would have gone on but Jack cut him off.

"Doctor. It's Donna". The Doctor immediately fell silent and Jack could sense the sudden concern about what he was going to say.

"She's good at maths." Jack blurted out aware of how inadequate a statement that was. "I mean since you wiped her memories" he clarified. "Is she starting to remember?"

The fear in Jack's voice was very real, the Doctor noted, as he let out a woosh of air in relief. That was a good sign, much better than he could have ever hoped for.

"She's fine Jack," he reassured him. "It was inevitable there would be some residual increase in intellect. After all it was a Time-Lord mind she absorbed. Some basic Time-Lord knowledge would have imprinted itself over existing knowledge making it impossible to erase, things where both species might have the same kind of knowledge – like basic maths."

The Doctor heard Jack let out an equally relieved sigh.

"So it won't trigger her memories?" Jack persisted. He had to be sure.

"Definitely not. Completely different bit of the brain. She's safe. By the way, how come you're suddenly so interested in her maths ability?"

"She wants to teach. Go back to college and become a maths teacher," explained Jack, the pride evident in his voice, now his fears had been laid to rest.

"Absolutely brilliant!" the Doctor crowed. "Donna Noble – Maths teacher!"

"That would be Donna Harkness," Jack corrected him.

"Yes it would!" the Doctor agreed smugly.

* * *

**Honestly that Doctor! I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Well end of breathing space. Chapter 11 is coming soon. A hint of Janto fluff, Jack doing his impression of a guppy. Oh and 'to wit a major plot point commeth' (Favourite Moonlighting quote from the episode Atomic Shakespeare).**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: This chapter contains a small moment of Janto fluffiness (I was feeling the need), before more diabolical plot points are introduced. Oh what a tangled web I weave.**

**Ammendment: I have reposted this chapter with the end of the chapter reworked a little. Ever since I wrote this something was niggling me about the end of the chapter. A million thanks to Marzi for putting her finger on what had been bugging me. The destination is the same only the journey has changed.**

* * *

_Chapter XI_

Gwen strode across the floor of the Hub balancing Ianto on her hip whilst talking rapidly into the microphone of her headset. Smiling broadly she pressed her finger to her ear finishing the call. She wrinkled her nose and looked at her son accusingly.

"No prizes for guessing what you've been up to," she muttered.

Grabbing a bag from over the back of her chair she headed up to Jack's newly completed office. The new Hub had been designed along very similar lines to the old one, Jack's office still high above the working floor where he could keep an eye on everyone. Not that there was anyone to keep an eye on. The Hub, although shinier was still depressingly empty. She barged into the office without knocking. Jack was pouring over a brown folder an inch thick. Beside him on the desk a pile of equally anonymous brown folders was stacked a foot high. At the interruption he looked up with a pained, vaguely annoyed expression.

"Sorry. I need your sofa." Gwen demanded. "It's too cold down there to change him and curiously the ladies doesn't come with baby change facilities." She cocked her hip to indicate Ianto, who gurgled appreciatively. Jack smiled fondly. He was completely besotted with his nephew, godchild, whatever.

"Be my guest"

Gwen held Ianto and the bag out to Jack.

"Your turn Jack. You said you wanted to help," she laughed.

Jack held both hands up in protest.

"Oh no. I draw the line at smelly diapers. Definitely not in the Uncle job description."

"You've been a dad!" Gwen shot back irrepressibly, immediately wishing she hadn't as the familiar shuttered expression returned to Jack's face, his eyes darkening in pain.

"When Alice was born, it wasn't the done thing to be a hands-on dad," he confessed shaking his head. "Besides I was never there."

Gwen couldn't think of a word to say. Jack's wounds were still too raw and, she suspected, they would never completely heal. Never was a long time in Jack's existence. Not for the first time she felt a stab of pity for him. She couldn't imagine what living for ever would be like. Worse living for ever in the knowledge that no matter what he did, or how hard he tried, he could never escape. It would have driven her mad. Maybe, for Jack, it already had. For the first time she wondered how many of Jack's deaths had been deliberate.

With nothing to say Gwen busied herself with lying Ianto down on the sofa, opening the bag and pulling out her baby change equipment. First though she pulled out her automatic and put it on the floor beside her.

"Nice," Jack commented, raising his eyebrows. "Are you expecting trouble?"

Relieved to hear Jack's normal tone, Gwen shot a disbelieving look over her shoulder at him whilst simultaneously attacking Ianto's bottom with a baby wipe.

"Er...Torchwood?" she flung at him.

"OK. Point taken. Especially since there are only us...well me," he conceded casting his eyes around the empty Hub.

"I'm still Torchwood," Gwen protested. "I'm just taking a break."

"Not noticeably,"Jack interjected wryly. "You've been here three days straight. Does Rhys know you're here?"

"Of course. Who do you think dropped us off. He'll be back soon."

"I'm glad you're here Gwen," he confessed in a low voice. "It's all so empty and quiet. Feels all wrong somehow."

"Well hopefully not for long. I was just on the phone with Martha. She'll be here next week to take up the permanent medic post. She's used her UNIT connections to get Tom a place at the hospital. She told UNIT Torchwood needed a man on the inside, so to speak. She's got them wrapped round her little finger."

Jack laughed. " The Doctor will love that. That's brilliant news. Martha Jones voice of a nightingale!"

"It's Martha Milligan now remember. Anyway, that's not all. I've managed to persuade Lois Habiba to join us. She's proved she's good in a crisis and she knows tech stuff. She was wasted in government.

"A harem. Just what I've always dreamed of," quipped Jack pushing aside the wrenching ache and painful memories elicited by the mention of Lois's name.

"Yes well, you're married now and don't forget it. I expect you to be on your best behaviour."

"Yes, ma'am!" Jack saluted.

"Oh and last but not least some guy UNIT recommended. They said you knew him. A Michael Smith."

Jack groaned. "Mickey Smith! They're sending me Mickey Smith! God help us all!" But he was grinning like an overexcited schoolboy and Gwen knew he was excited to have a family around him again. Especially the Doctor's family.

"Thanks for doing this..." Jack began. He was interrupted by his mobile phone which began to ring and vibrate across the desk. He caught it up and looked at the caller display.

"It's Wilf," he said confused. Gwen started to stand up but he waved her to stay as he answered it.

"Wilf..." he said cheerily. "To what do I owe the pleasure..." He stopped dead, his face suddenly ashen, and listened intently. Gwen picked up Ianto and cuddled him protectively. Not again, not so soon, she thought frantically

"Is she alright?" Jack asked urgently. "You're sure?" There was a moments silence broken only by the faint voice of Wilf on the other end of the phone.

"Take her home and stay with her. I'm on my way."

He ended the call and leapt to his feet pulling his coat of the stand and round his shoulders in one swift motion.

"Jack? What's the matter? Is Donna alright?" Gwen put her hand on his arm staying his exit. He was trembling. "Jack?" she repeated.

Jack barely recognised his own voice as he answered her.

"She collapsed at college in the middle of a lecture. She wouldn't let them phone me, made them phone Wilf instead. I've got to go. I'll ring you."

Gwen nodded and squeezed his arm. He strode to the door then turned to look back at her.

"The Doctor said her memories wouldn't come back," he said softly. So softly Gwen had to strain to hear him. "What if he was wrong?"

* * *

All the way back to London, blue lights flashing, Jack's knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel, trying not to think. For the first time since he had married Donna, he was afraid. Afraid of what he would find when he reached home. The same feeling of helplessness which had paralysed him as he watched Ianto struggle for breath in Thames House, gripped his chest. Unbidden an image of Ianto, lying in his arms, not dying in Thames House, but safe and sated in Jack's bed, pushed it's way to the front of his mind. Jack remembered the day. It was the first time Ianto had called him 'Cariad', a moment so precious, the moment when they had both realised that what they had was more than casual. It was real. Jack had told him that day, how afraid he was for Ianto, every time they left the Hub on a mission. Scared that one day, he wouldn't be able to save him and he would lose him. How the fear paralysed him. Ianto had taken Jack's face in his hands and looked seriously and calmly into his eyes.

"Every time I see you die Jack, my heart stops waiting to see if you'll come back. Every time. I have to be there with you when you die. I need to hold you in my arms when you take that first breath to know I'm not going to be alone. I'm afraid too, Cariad, but we can't let that fear stop us from doing what we have to do. Besides..." he had continued, kissing Jack lightly on each corner of his mouth. "how can you stop me from following you. I am an adult after all." Then with a wicked smile he'd allowed one hand to trail down Jack's chest underneath the crumpled duvet. Jack remembered there hadn't been any more words after that. At least none that were intelligible.

Despite his fear, Jack smiled in the darkness. Trust Ianto, he always seemed to know the right thing and right time to say something which Jack needed to hear. It was almost as though he was present in his mind, just out of reach, but ready to point him in the right direction when he lost his way. Making sure he took the right path. He felt the knot of anxiety ease a little. Wilf had said Donna was alright. He had no reason to lie.

* * *

He pulled up outside the house leaving the SUV parked diagonally across the pavement and raced into the house shouting Donna's name.

"I'm in here," a small voice called from upstairs.

Jack took the stairs two at a time, heart pounding and burst into the bedroom to reveal Donna perched on the edge of the bed, her face almost as white as the duvet cover she sat on. He knelt down in front of her and pulled her into a crushing embrace.

"Are you alright? Where's Wilf? I told him to stay with you. What happened?" Jack's questions tumbled out, one on top of another, making Donna smile. He was so sweet when he was worried. She decided to put him out of his misery.

"Jack, I'm fine, " she assured him gently. "I sent Grandad home, he didn't need to stay. He shouldn't have called you. I'm not sick."

Jack pulled away and glared at her. "Of course he should have called me. You collapsed, that's not exactly the actions of a well..." Jack stopped dead as he focused on the thin pen shaped object Donna was waving between them and the mischievous smile she was flashing at him.

"Is that a..." he spluttered. Donna nodded solemnly, though the corners of her mouth were twitching.

"And you're..." He couldn't continue. Donna nodded again.

"Gotcha!" She couldn't contain it any more, she howled in laughter as she took in Jack's shell shocked expression, his mouth opening and closing like a guppy. She couldn't believe it. She'd actually managed to shock the mighty Jack Harkness.

Jack was stunned...and confused. His eyes tracked the movement of the testing stick disbelievingly. Pregnant. Somehow he hadn't considered the possibility that he might ever become a father again. Which was, he conceded, completely irrational. It wasn't as if he and Donna hadn't given fate every opportunity to intervene. But by denying the possibility that it might happen had meant that he hadn't had to think about the crushing sadness which accompanied his memories of his previous attempts at having a normal family. He'd had families before. Loved them, and lost them.

In truth the memories of his first family were generally happy. The pair of their loss dulled by the passing of a hundred years. He had watched as his first wife grew old and died. And his only son, who had not lived to see his first birthday, taken by the scourge of polio. Jack had felt impotent, knowing that a cure was only a matter of years away, but unable to use his knowledge to help his child. His memories of his daughter Katie were happy, she had lived a full life with children and grandchildren and while Jack had grieved at her loss it was in the knowledge that she had had her time. Throughout the years Jack had stayed, accepted, his immortality engendering nothing but curiosity amongst his family. There were no recriminations of why he lived on while those he loved died. But the last of his family had vanished for ever in the trenches of the Somme and Jack had been alone once more. His work for Torchwood provided relief from the loneliness and grief.

It had taken a long time before he had risked a family again, this time one for whom his life in Torchwood was no surprise. But he had not given himself fully. He had stayed distant, selfish, unwilling to open himself up to such pain again. And he had paid the price. His daughter, unable to accept his immortality had as good as shunned him, and whilst allowing him to see his grandson, she had forbidden him to tell Steven the truth of who he really was, forever relegated to the role of occasional uncle.

His second family and he had destroyed them. Deliberately and wilfully. The 456 starting a chain of events which had led him to the alley where the Doctor had found him, crazed with grief and uncaring of his fate. The Doctor had brought him back to face his daemons and, almost without realising it, he had embarked on the whole cycle again. But it had to different this time. He couldn't risk losing Donna and their child in the same way as he had lost Alice and her mother.

Abruptly Jack became aware of Donna, looking at him with a curious expression on her face. She was waiting for a reaction, he realised. A sign of whether he was happy about the news. Looking at Donna's face, the uncertainty in her eyes, all Jack's confusion vanished. He was happy, he thought in amazement, despite all the sadness and loss that had gone before. This was different, because he was different. And Donna deserved this chance of happiness and motherhood. He needed to share that with her. Jack felt his heart give a joyous lurch. He had another chance. This time he would do it right.

* * *

The following morning, after a night when, quite frankly, neither he or Donna had had precious little sleep, Jack called in at Gwen's house on the way to the Hub. He felt guilty he hadn't called the previous night to let her know that Donna was OK and that guilt increased ten-fold when she opened the door. Gwen's face was pale in the dark halo of her hair, dark circles rimmed red eyes. On seeing Jack's dazed expression, her face filled with concern. Without a word she ushered him in and sat him on the sofa.

"Tell me Jack. How bad is it?"

"Where's Ianto?" Jack asked bemused.

Gwen's stomach twisted. Oh god, he'd lost her. He'd never recover from this.

"He's in his cot asleep," she said gently. "He's safe. Jack? Come on sweetheart tell me what happened."

Jack looked up as if seeing her for the first time.

"Does he need changing?" he asked calmly.

"No, I don't think so. Why?" Gwen was now really afraid Jack had lost his mind.

"I was hoping I could change him," Jack confessed, his eyes shining. "Apparently I'm going to need the practice."

And then he laughed. A joyful, carefree laugh Gwen had never heard in all the time she had known him, and she hugged him tight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: After all the who-haa over posting chapter 11, hopefully Chapter 12 will be more straightforward. Once again thanks to everyone who has reviewed, story alerted and added this as a favourite story. I love you all. *blows big kiss***

* * *

_Chapter XII_

"Lois? Have you got any further tracing the Mantrassian sphere?" Jack called down from the door of his office.

"I picked up an energy spike about twenty minutes ago. Mickey's gone to check it out." Lois called back never once lifting her eyes from the computer screen where a glowing red dot was superimposed over a map.

"You didn't send him on his own did you? You know what effect that sphere has on male humans. I'm not sure we can cover up another male pregnancy. Tom had enough trouble covering up the last three. We'll run out of Retcon if it carries on like this." There was a disembodied snort of laughter from above. "Mind you, Mickey Smith pregnant. I could dine out on that for the next year."

Lois threw Jack a reproving look even though she knew he couldn't see her from his current position.

"No, Martha's gone with him to contain it. Mickey's just providing back up. There are a lot of Weevils located in that area."

Jack stuck his head over the bannister, "You better check in the records what effect those spheres have on Weevils. The last thing we need is a whole family of baby Weevils cropping up."

Lois nodded and fired up a second computer screen to search for the information. Whilst she was waiting for the record to appear, she cast a glance up at Jack who was still looking expectantly over the railing at her, and gave him a cheeky wink.

"Why are you squeamish about men getting pregnant anyway? I thought in your time it was quite a normal thing."

"Oh yeah in the 51st century it was all the rage. Still, all that pain, yuckiness. I'll pass."

He received an icily cold glare in reply,

"So it's OK for us women to go through all that pain and anguish and what was it, ah yes, yuckiness, but not men. You're a bloody chauvinist Jack Harkness. You should be ashamed, especially with Donna due any time now."

Jack laughed and winked at her, "Yeah but you think what a man has to try and push a baby through!" He gave a suggestive leer at his crotch and despite herself Lois flinched. "Exactly!" he affirmed. He was silent for a moment and then laughed. "You are so easy to wind up," he chuckled. "No, in the 51st century it's all birth by C-section – well, the male equivalent."

Lois scowled at him and returned her attention to the computer screen where the red dot still shone steadily out.

"They should be there now," she reported.

Jack activated his ear piece.

"Mickey? Martha? You there?"

There was a brief buzz of static before Martha's voice replied echoing round the Hub.

"We're here Jack. All quiet. Can't find the sphere though."

"It's about fifteen metres due West of your present location." Lois checked the monitor again. "There looks to be a small outbuilding, maybe a tool shed."

"On it," Mickey confirmed. There were a few moments of the sounds of scrabbling over rough ground and metal doors being pushed open. Jack waited impatiently, the agitation plain on his face.

"Come on, come on," he muttered.

"It's OK, we've got it." Martha finally said, her breathing only slightly laboured. "Looks like Tom might be busy again though."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Please don't tell me Mickey's pregnant." he groaned. There was an indignant yelp over the comms followed by a muttered 'Piss off'.

Martha laughed, "No, some poor tramp was wrapped round it using it for warmth. The deep tissue scanner says it's triplets. Equivalent to about 26 weeks. We've only got twenty minutes to get him back to the Hub otherwise I'll be delivering the babies in the SUV.

"Get back here" Jack ordered grimacing. "Afterbirth is murder to get off the leather. Ianto would be..." He stopped abruptly and wordlessly disappeared back into his office. Over the comms Martha sighed, which was echoed by Lois.

"I'm coming in. Prep the med bay for me would you?" Martha asked.

"Will do. Best I keep out of the way." Lois replied, her voice low and guarded.

"He'll be fine," Martha said briskly with a confidence she didn't feel. "See you in fifteen."

* * *

Up in his office Jack threw himself into his office chair and resting his elbows on the table put his head in his hands. For a moment he'd forgotten. How was that possible? For just an instant it was if the last eighteen months had never happened. There was just Torchwood, doing what it did best, with the incomparable Ianto moaning over the state of the SUV after every mission. Was it ever going to get easier missing him. Sitting upright he ran his hand back through his hair and breathed out slowly collecting his thoughts, before picking up the phone.

"Hiya," he said softly as the phone was answered. "How you doing?"

On the other end Donna shifted uncomfortably in her chair and rubbed her back thoughtfully.

"My back is killing me and your child appears to be trying to run a half marathon." she said caustically. "And you?"

"I'm OK." Jack said carefully. Donna wasn't fooled, instantly picking up on Jack's mood she allowed her voice to soften,

"No, you're not. What's the matter?"

Jack hesitated. He knew he wasn't the most tactful guy on the planet but somehow mentioning his dead ex-partner to his extremely pregnant wife seemed like bad form. The problem was Donna was the one person he needed to tell. Otherwise it would feel like he was keeping secrets and he had enough of those already.

"Something came up at work. It just reminded me of Ianto. Brought it all back. How much I miss him. I'm sorry. You don't need to hear this, especially now," he apologised helplessly.

Donna took a deep breath. She would be lying if she said it didn't hurt just a little when Jack mentioned Ianto. She couldn't help it, she was only human. The thing was, so was Jack.

"Yes I do," she said quietly. "I know you miss him Jack. It wouldn't be right if you didn't. Just remember I love you and I'm here when you need me."

Jack's chest tightened. "I don't deserve you," he said huskily.

"Probably not," Donna concurred. "But you've got me. All two tons of me..."

She heard Jack give an affectionate chuckle. "You look beautiful," he said honestly. "And damned sexy."

"As if," she retorted. She shifted uncomfortably again. The pain in her back was getting worse. Suddenly she felt a sharp cramping pain in her abdomen and drew in her breath sharply. "Little sod," she muttered under her breath.

"Jack, will you be late home tonight?" she asked trying to force her voice to sound normal.

"Shouldn't be. Why?" Jack's voice was reassuringly calm. She was being stupid, Donna thought reasonably. She wasn't due for another three weeks. It was just one of those Braxton-Hicks false contraction things. Almost immediately, Donna felt another cramping pain, this one much stronger, and a sudden release of warm liquid over her legs. This definitely wasn't a false alarm.

Jack heard Donna curse under her breath. "Donna?" he asked warily.

" You might need to come home a bit early," Donna panted biting her lip.

"Why?"

God. Was he being deliberately obtuse, Donna thought incredulously. As a third contraction seized her Donna forgot all about her intention to be dignified in labour.

"Because my waters just broke, you stupid git. Get your ass back here now, Jack Harkness!" she screeched down the phone and hung up.

Jack stared uncomprehendingly at the dead phone in his hand for several seconds, then he leapt to his feet and vaulted over the desk in a move worthy of an Olympic gymnast.

"Lois!" he yelled pulling open his office door. " I need you to find me a helicopter. Now!"

* * *

Apparently Martha had arranged for a UNIT helicopter to be on standby for the last month for just such an eventuality and within ten minutes Jack was high in the sky above Cardiff heading out of the city towards London. It was the longest hour of Jack's life. In an effort not to feel so helpless he used the UNIT communication channels to contact Sylvia and Wilf, only to find Donna had got there before him. It seemed despite the differences between Donna and Sylvia, when it came to needing reassurance in such situations, mothers were still top of the list. Jack wondered wryly how long it would take before they were at each others throats. He hoped Wilf was up to the task of keeping the peace until he arrived.

"How much longer?" he asked impatiently. The helicopter flight crews looked at each other in amusement. Jack Harkness was a legend. The indestructible captain who had the ear of world governments, not to mention top UNIT brass. At the moment though he was indistinguishable from any other expectant father.

"Less than five minutes," the pilot replied pointing out the hospital on the skyline where UNIT doctors were attending to Donna. Jack had insisted that UNIT doctors monitored Donna throughout her pregnancy. He wasn't taking any chances. Not this time.

Jack was out of the helicopter barely seconds after it touched down and charged into the roof access door vanishing in a flurry of blue grey material. Donna was on the seventh floor, his briefing on the helicopter worthy of one of UNIT's most complex military operations. He took the stairs several at a time unwilling to wait for the lift and barged through into the Maternity Ward with all the arrogant swagger of Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood. It lasted about three seconds. As he swung down the corridor which lead to the delivery suites he heard a howl of pain. Donna. He faltered, stomach lurching, face draining of colour. A nurse in pale pink scrubs poked her head out of a door to his right.

"Mr Harkness," she enquired politely. Jack nodded dumbly.

"You can come in," she encouraged him, opening the door wider to admit him. Jack hesitated. This was a situation he was completely unprepared for. He hadn't even been to the birthing classes with Donna. Torchwood business had always seemed to get in the way. The nurse raised her eyebrows impatiently.

"Is that Jack?" He heard Donna ask from inside the room. "Harkness! You bastard. Get in here now!"

Galvanised Jack pushed past the nurse into the delivery suite where Donna lay propped up on the bed, face pale, hair mussed, eyes dark with pain. Or maybe anger, Jack corrected as she grabbed his hand in a vice like grip.

"Hey sweetheart" he soothed.

"Sweetheart! I'll give you sweetheart! You are never coming near me again, Jack Harkness. Do you understand? Never again..." Donna's diatribe was cut short by a squeal of pain as another contraction overtook her. She gripped Jack's hand tighter and he winced. "Don't leave me," Donna pleaded her eyes swimming.

Jack leant in close. "Never," he said softly.

"Mr Harkness?" A doctors voice cut into Jack's forgotten earpiece startling him. "Can I have a word?"

Immediately fear closed Jack's throat. Lifting Donna's hand to his lips he kissed it and said,

"I'm just going to have a quick chat with the midwife. Get the lay of the land."

"I thought I was the lay of the land" Donna joked weakly.

"Absolutely," he agreed. "I'll only be a minute." Jack crossed to the far side of the delivery suite, pulling the earpiece out of his ear and shoving it in his coat pocket, where a white-coated doctor joined him. With a curt nod Jack motioned for him to speak.

"Captain Harkness, there is a problem with the labour. Donna's contractions are unusually intense and the baby is in some distress. Its heart rate is depressed and we have noted some arrhythmia in Donna's heartbeat also. We are concerned that unless we can deliver the baby very soon there may be some danger to both the baby and Donna." The doctor's tone was hushed and worried.

Jack felt his insides drop away. He glanced over at Donna face which he could now see was deathly pale. Like Ianto's had been as he had laid on the floor of the hall covered in the red shroud. Jack let out a small moan causing the doctor to stare at him in concern.

"W...What do you want to do?" Jack asked finally, his voice trembling.

" We would like permission to do a C-section," the doctor said calmly. "It's the safest option for Donna and the baby. We have a theatre prepped and ready to go."

"Do it," Jack said, his voice anguished. "Do whatever you need to do, but whatever you do don't let them die."

The doctor placed his hand reassuringly on Jack's arm but he shook it off and strode back to Donna. For the first time he noticed Sylvia and Wilf sat at the other side of Donna, faces pale and eyes fearful. He couldn't meet their gaze. He'd promised Wilf he wouldn't hurt Donna and now here she was in terrible pain, in danger, and it was all his fault. He caught up Donna's hand again and held it to his cheek.

"Donna. There's a problem sweetheart," he said gently trying to keep the fear he felt out of his voice. "The baby's not doing too well." He felt Donna convulse in pain and knew that this time it had nothing to do with a contraction. Across the bed he saw Wilf and Sylvia grab each other in distress. "The doctors want to do a C-section and take the baby out. It'll be safer for both of you." He looked into Donna's eyes and saw the fear. She nodded in resignation and gripped his hand tightly.

"You'll stay with me? Won't you? You have to make sure the baby is OK. Promise me Jack."

"I promise," he said, his voice determined. He nodded to the doctor and within seconds the team of nurses and doctors had swooped around Donna's bed. Jack moved to one side while they worked but all the time he kept his hand tightly wrapped around Donna.

Finally she lay on the trolley ready to be moved into theatre. As they wheeled her down the corridor, she thrashed in pain as contraction after contraction hit her. Jack ran alongside, only withdrawing his hand as he discarded his coat and pulled on a green theatre gown over his clothes. They passed through double doors into the gleaming sterile theatre which swung shut behind them, separating them from Wilf and Sylvia's scared faces.

* * *

In the theatre, anaesthesiologists inserted needles in the back of Donna's hand, inserted IV's of fluids into her arms. All the time Donna lay unresisting, the pain of her contractions overshadowing all else. Jack leant over Donna, whispering in her ear trying to keep her calm, trying to keep himself calm.

"Alright, Mrs Harkness," the anaesthesiologist loomed over them, his face confident. "We're going to put you under now."

Donna thrashed her head from side to side in panic. "Jack?" she said, her voice fearful.

Jack kissed her forehead. "Ssh. I'm here. I've got you. I love you." His eyes welled with tears but he forced them back.

"I love you too..." Donna replied. For a moment her voice was strong, her eyes seemed to glint with their old fire. Then her eyes slowly closed and her hand went limp in Jack's. His face stony Jack nodded to the doctors to begin. Then letting Donna's hand rest in his own he waited.

The moment Donna went under the doctors sprang into action. With a surety stemming from countless operations the surgeon made the cut and within seconds he was hauling the small form of a baby from Donna's womb. There was a heart stopping moment of silence and then to Jack's relief there came a loud indignant wail.

"You have a daughter, Captain Harkness." The doctor glanced up to give Jack a confident smile. "Looks fine. We'll just give her the once over and then you can have a hold." As he spoke he passed the baby to a waiting nurse who immediately swaddled her in a pristine blue cloth and hurried away to a side table. Then he turned his attention back to Donna.

Jack grinned in delight. A daughter. And one with a set of lungs to clearly rival her mothers. Leaning over to Donna he whispered in her ear.

"It's a girl Donna. Thank you." Looking up he saw the nurse approaching carrying the infant and he held his arms out eagerly. The nurse deposited the bundle in his arms.

"Your daughter, Mr Harkness." Jack looked down and for the first time looked into his daughters eyes. No baby blue for his girl, Jack noted with amusement. Already the eyes staring back were a startling emerald green which seemed, at least to Jack, to contain the wisdom of ages. Jack moved a finger to caress her downy cheek.

"Hello Angel," he breathed as he lifted her up to Donna. "This is your mom."

It was at that moment that he noticed the silence. Not complete silence just the absence of movement in the room. Slowly he lifted his head, becoming aware that the bleeping of the monitor was slower, less regular. On the periphery of his vision he could see the faces of the surgeon, the nurses and doctors, all pale and grey with concern and something else. Fear. His heart pounding in his ears he followed their gaze past Donna to the floor. Blood. Donna's blood. So much blood. Too much blood.

* * *

For Jack the next few minutes were an eternity. Cradling his daughter in his arms he clung to her like a life preserver, staring at her face, willing himself not to give in to the blackness that was threatening to engulf him. He couldn't lose Donna. Not now. It wasn't time. Dimly he heard the hushed voices of the medical team. Medical terms which he did not understand were thrown about. Frantic efforts to stop the bleeding.

"Captain Harkness?" Suddenly the world coalesced around him. He looked up at the surgeon.

"Captain. Donna has had a placenta accreta. It's when the placenta attaches too firmly to the uterus. As the placenta has come away parts have remained attached to uterus wall causing the excessive bleeding. Donna has lost a lot of blood and we need to control the bleeding. The safest way to treat this is by performing a hysterectomy. Do we have your permission?"

Jack looked blankly at him. Could he do this. Remove Donna's ability to have another child. His child.

"What will happen if you don't do a hysterectomy?"

"Honestly?" Jack nodded. For the first time the surgeon looked like the military man he was. Used to dealing with soldiers.

"The bleeding is severe. The loss of blood so far is in itself life threatening. Without the hysterectomy there is very high chance she might die."

There was no choice. Losing Donna was not an option. His daughter needed a mother. He hoped Donna could forgive him the choice he had to make.

"Just do it. Don't let her die. Do you understand me. She can't die." His voice cracked on the last word.

"Captain. That may not be in my hands," the surgeon admitted honestly.

Desolate, Jack nodded mutely.

"We may be some time," the surgeon said kindly as he moved round to start the operation. "Why don't you wait outside."

"We'll wait here," Jack replied flatly. "As long as it takes."

* * *

**Berate me if you must. I know I'm mean and heartless, but this is neccessary as will become clear in Chapter 13 when Donna speaks to a dead man (I so loved writing the next two chapters). Reviews make me tiggerish!**

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: I'm sorry for the delay in putting up this chapter. It was supposed to go up yesterday but a nasty migraine got in the way. This chapter wasn't supposed to happen, but I kind of felt this meeting needed to happen. There are stranger things in heaven and earth (and all that jazz) ;0)**

* * *

_Chapter XIII_

"Coffee?"

The intense aromatic smell of freshly ground coffee assaulted Donna's nose at about the same time as the quietly worded question permeated into her brain. Donna winced as she tried to open her eyes. God, she hurt. Every muscle in her body ached as if they had individually attempted a marathon. And that included her eyelids. Add to that a head which currently seemed to be a venue for a heavy metal rock festival and she could truthfully say she had never experienced a hangover like it. It must have been one hell of a night.

"Coffee?" The voice repeated, this time with a tinge of impatience. With a exaggerated sigh Donna forced her eyelids up. Looming over her was a young man, handsome in an innocent kind of way but with a devilish glint in the blue eyes which were fixed on her. His expression was half amusement, half irritation. In his hand was a large, steaming purple mug which he waved invitingly under her nose.

"Jesus!" Donna yelped, sitting upright and scooting backwards along what appeared to be a dark brown leather sofa in a single hurried motion. Unfortunately the sudden movement triggered a thunderbolt of pain through her temples and her vision swam. She swayed dangerously. In an instant the young man was beside her an arm around her shoulders supporting her.

"Easy," he said gently. "Sorry to give you such a shock."

"You have no idea." Donna blinked a dozen times trying to right her vision. "It's not polite to creep up on people like that."

"I wasn't creeping," he said sagely. "I was offering you coffee which was incredibly polite of me considering."

"Considering...?" Donna let the question hang as her vision finally righted itself. She looked around her surroundings with interest. She appeared to be in an flat. An extremely tidy flat if truth be told. And just a tad impersonal, as if the occupant was only on a short term let and couldn't be bothered to make it home. In fact it reminded her of somewhere. Jack's old flat. Jack! Where was he? What had happened to her? Frantically trying to cast her mind back to the night before she realised she couldn't remember anything before waking up on the sofa. She could remember her name. Donna Noble. No, Donna Harkness. She was married to Jack Harkness. They lived in Notting Hill. Her mum was called Sylvia, she had a grandad called Wilf and...that was it. She knew there was more, there had to be, but it was all locked away, out of reach. Sheer terror rose in her chest and she stuffed her fist in her mouth trying not to scream because she knew if she did she'd never stop. The room started to spin around her and in panic she grabbed at the man still supporting her and looked directly into his eyes. She knew him, she knew his face. And now Donna knew she was going insane.

"You're...you're...you're..." It took three attempts to dislodge the words from her throat. "I..Ianto."

The young man looked faintly surprised and frowned in confusion. After a moment he smiled, polite and aloof. He disengaged one hand from around Donna shoulders and held it out in front of him.

"Ianto Jones. Pleased to meet you. And you are?"

* * *

Donna stared and stared while her brain whirled throwing impossible notion after impossible notion to try and explain why Ianto Jones, who was, let's not beat about the bush here, dead, was sat beside her offering her coffee. And why he was looking at her expectantly waiting for an answer.

"Er...Donna...H" Donna stopped dead. Probably not the best time to announce her full name.

Ianto picked up the coffee mug which he had placed on a coffee table and handed it to her. "Drink this, things will seem a lot clearer."

"Really?" Donna managed taking the cup from his hands, lifting it to her lips and sniffing appreciatively.

"Probably not," Ianto admitted. "But it would be a shame to waste it. It's an excellent blend."

At Ianto's calm tone Donna felt the panic subside. Strangely she felt quite safe. This had to be a dream. A very detailed dream admittedly, nothing like the usual array of disjointed images forgotten on the instance of waking. But intensely surreal nonetheless. She was drinking coffee with a dead man. Her husband's ex. Jerry Springer would have a field day with this one.

She took a big gulp of fortifying coffee, he was right it was excellent, and looked at him appraisingly. More serious than in his photograph, he looked young and unsure. He returned her gaze unblinking for a full minute, then got to his feet and wandered into the kitchen to collect his own cooling mug of coffee. On his return Donna was in exactly in the same position staring at the space he'd previously occupied.

"So, have you come to any conclusions?" he said finally.

"You're dead," she accused him disbelievingly, just stopping short of raising a melodramatic finger and pointing at the spectre which stood before her.

Ianto inclined his head seemingly unconcerned by her reply. "Apparently," he concurred with a flicker of a smile.

Donna considered his answer as, remembering the very real touch of his hands on her arms, another possibility occurred to her.

"Does this mean I'm dead?" Curiously she didn't feel any distress in asking the question, just a sense of overwhelming curiosity. Another point in favour of this being a dream, she thought with satisfaction.

Ianto appeared to ponder for a moment, his brow crinkling in a manner Donna recognised from Jack's descriptions. He'd described it as adorable. Looking at the young man, Donna had to agree. It was easy to see why Jack had fallen so hard. She became aware that Ianto had still not answered.

"Well?" she prompted.

"You're," Ianto struggled for the right word. "Complicated," he allowed again with just a glimmer of a smile raising the corners of his mouth.

"Complicated? That's not exactly a helpful description. Complicated dead or complicated alive?" Donna pushed, her voice high pitched with impatience.

Ianto shrugged helplessly. "Sorry. That's the best I can do at the moment."

Donna gave an inarticulate snort which left Ianto in no doubt that she was not happy with his answer.

"So where's this then? Heaven?"

The words had barely left Donnas' lips when Ianto said sharply, "No! Definitely not heaven!"

"Hell, then?"

Donna thought she heard the word "Sometimes" muttered under Ianto's breath but he said confidently, "Not if we're working to the strict biblical definition of hell. Fiery pit and all that. Actually your presence here rather suggests it isn't. I've always believed everyone has their own personal hell…" He refrained from saying that he actually had some proof that was the case. He'd once rescued Jack from his own personal hell after all. "…and I can't imagine we're both likely to have the exact same definition of hell, can you?"

Actually Donna could. Losing Jack would catapult her straight into her own personal hell. Why not Ianto? But, she conceded, Ianto had a point. Hell was a solitary thing. And she hadn't missed the inference in Ianto's last statement. Whatever Ianto was saying out loud, this was hell. At least for him. And there was nothing she could do about it.

"OK, so not hell. Not hell is good," she said falling back onto her customary brusqueness to fight the overwhelming sense of helplessness which was threatening to engulf her. This is a dream, she told herself desperately, only a dream. She forced herself to continue.

"So that leaves purgatory then. Playing the waiting game. Unfinished business and all that?"

"Seems reasonable," Ianto agreed with a meditative nod of the head. He looked sideways at her.

"Look, don't take this the wrong way but now we've established that I'm dead, this may or may not be purgatory or hell, and you may or may not be dead, can I just ask? Who are you really and what are you doing in my flat? Do I know you? Because you look familiar and you clearly seem to know who I am?"

His tone wasn't threatening, but Donna could see by the stiff set of his features that he wasn't going to accept silence as an answer. She was going to have to tell him the truth.

"I'm Donna Harkness. I'm Jack's wife," her voice gentle. She watched as the colour drained from Ianto's shocked face. He stumbled and put his hand on the back of the sofa to steady himself.

"For God's sake, sit down before you fall down," Donna urged.

Ianto sank onto the sofa beside her, ashen and shaking.

"I know this is a shock…" Donna began but fell silent as Ianto shot her an angry look.

"Jack's married?" he asked disbelievingly. "How long have I been gone?"

"Just over two years. We've been married a year." Donna confessed knowing every word would be a knife blow to Ianto's heart.

"He only waited a year. I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Ianto's face crumpled, the last word lost in a stifled sob which broke Donna's heart. For the first time Donna could see how young he really was. He looked utterly bereft, a lost little boy. Impulsively she grabbed both his hands.

"It's not what you think. He hasn't forgotten you. He grieves for you everyday. He still wears your wedding ring…"

Ianto froze. "What?"

"When you died it almost killed him. He told me about you, about the car accident when we first met. He still loves you very much." Donna explained, desperate to ease the hurt in the young mans' eyes.

"But he married you." Ianto's voice was stubborn.

"He needed someone," Donna reasoned honestly, pushing down the bubble of hurt tightening her chest. "He needed me and I needed him. But he still loves you. How could he not? You were his life."

Ianto took a shaky intake of breath and gave Donna a crooked smile. "I don't want you to think I begrudge Jack happiness, it's just…"

"You love him and it hurts." Donna stated kindly. Ianto nodded unable to speak.

* * *

They sat side by side in silence on the sofa. Donna stroking Ianto's hands in what she could only describe as a motherly way. Finally Ianto pulled himself straight and carefully extracted his hands from Donna's. He was still pale, but the crushing defeat in his blue eyes had been replaced by resignation and a calm acceptance.

"I still don't know what you are doing here, but I've at least worked out who you are. You're Donna Noble. You travel with the Doctor. Is that what happened? Jack ran back to the Doctor after I died and you got it together." His voice was tinged with bitterness.

Donna ignored it. She was too busy gaping at Ianto in confusion.

"Er, what are you talking about? What doctor?"

Now it was Ianto's turn to blink in confusion.

"You know. The Doctor, Daleks, saving all reality?" Ianto seemed incredulous. "How can you not remember?"

"Now I know you're winding me up. I know there's a lot of stuff I don't seem to be able to remember, now I come to think of it. But I hardly think a temp from Chiswick would be able to save all reality. I think you might have got me confused with Wonder Woman." She'd loved that show when she was young, invisible planes and the lasso of truth. "Look," she held her arms up crossed in front of her. "No bullet-deflecting armbands." Despite himself Ianto chuckled.

"Shame. They'd look good on you. And Jack would love them. He was always up for a bit of role play."

Donna raised her eyebrows. Where had that comment come from? Then she remembered the devilish glint she'd seen in his eyes when she'd first laid eyes on him. Clearly there was more to Ianto Jones than met the eye.

"Oi, behave yourself." she scolded.

Ianto bowed an apology. "You were better than Wonder Woman apparently. Saw off a Dalek invasion, saved all reality using your ability to type a hundred words a minute."

Honestly, this dream was becoming more and more surreal, she decided. Where was the damn alarm clock when you needed it. Determined to set Ianto straight Donna closed her eyes and cast about in her mind for the offending memories. Nothing. Only something which in her mind's eye resembled a heavy metal door secured with a very sturdy padlock. I bet that's deadlocked sealed, she thought idly. Not even a sonic screwdriver could open that. Sonic screwdriver! Where the hell had that come from.

Donna could swear she heard the clunk of a door unlocking inside her head. In that instant a deluge of buried memories washed over her. The Doctor, the TARDIS, Huon particles, robot Santas, Adipose, the Doctor, Pompeii, Agatha Christie, Ood, the Library, the Doctor cradling his dying daughter in his arms, Martha, Sontarans, the sky on fire, Daleks, lost planets, the Doctor and his Rose sprinting towards each other down the road, Jack, a glowing hand, another Doctor naked on the floor, knowledge of the Time Lords burning her mind; the Doctor, his hands on her face, his face so sad and damp with tears as he stripped her mind bare.

"Doctor!" she screamed.

* * *

"Donna!" Ianto's worried cry intruded into her mind, her eyes flickered open. Still in the flat. Still talking to a dead man.

"I'm alright," she managed her voice trembling. "Honestly. Just give me a minute."

He looked at her in consternation.

"You've remembered? About the Doctor and Jack."

Unable to put her chaotic thoughts into words she just nodded, taking deep calming breaths.

"It was all hidden. I don't think I'm supposed to remember. The Doctor tried to wipe it all away but he couldn't so he just locked it all behind a big door I couldn't access. He did it…?" Donna tried to sort though the fragments of memory tumbling over in her mind. "He did it to protect me. The Time Lord knowledge in my head was killing me so he took it away."

Ianto was now looking at her with undisguised interest,

"So if you weren't supposed to be reminded about the Doctor how come you ended up with Jack. Isn't that dangerous?"

The pieces finally slotted into place,

"The devious conniving bastard," she flared angrily. "He played me."

Ianto looked genuinely confused again. "Who did?"

"The Doctor…Jack…Both of them. Captain Jack 'Bloody' Harkness. No wonder I kept feeling I was Jack's pet project. I was. The Doctor sent him to keep an eye on me. He must have." Donna's temper was now in full flow. Ianto grinned despite his confusion. Donna Noble was formidable. He almost felt sorry for Jack.

"Forgive me," he said calmly, "but that doesn't make much sense. If knowledge of the Doctor was so dangerous then why send Jack to you. You'd met him while you were with the Doctor, the sight of him might have been enough to trigger your memories."

"The Doctor must have thought it was worth the risk. I don't flatter myself that me being on the receiving end of Captain Harkness' full charm offensive was Jack's idea. It's that devious Martian I'll bet money on it"

In her head Donna could hear the Doctor's familiar indignant refrain that he was not a Martian. She noted that he didn't deny the devious part.

"So the fact you can remember now. Does that mean you are dead?" Ianto asked.

"I have no bloody idea. Frankly I'm still convinced that you are just a figment of my imagination and I'm making this all up. A really, really weird dream. That's what you are Ianto Jones." Falling silent, Donna regarded him thoughtfully for several long moments and then a slow smile spread across her face. "No! No way! Of course…oh yes, now that would be very clever. I like that. You clever little Time Lord," she said to no one in particular. She turned and beamed at Ianto. "Ripples in a pond, Ianto. Oh God I'm even starting to sound like him now."

Ianto raised his eyebrows at that one. "Am I supposed to understand that?"

"No. Can I just ask how did you die? Really. Not the death Jack made up for me. A car crash...honestly!"

"Deadly alien virus engineered by a species called the 456. They wanted to take one tenth of all the children on Earth to feed their habit. Jack and I went charging in to face them, full of big words. We were convinced if we just stood up to them they would back down. We were naïve. I died." He replied matter-of-factly but with a twisted smile. "Then I woke up here. My flat in Cardiff with an endless supply of my favourite coffee blend and the complete series of James Bond films on DVD. Go figure." He shrugged in resignation.

Donna bobbed her head as if her suspicions had been confirmed. "And Jack?" she probed.

"Jack died along side me and came back to life I suppose. Just like he always does."

Donna looked grave. "Ah yes, it comes back to me now. Immortality. A fixed point in time. And you were prepared to take that on, knowing that one day he'd leave you behind?"

"He's Jack," Ianto said simply. "He was worth it."

"You won't get any argument from me." Donna twisted a strand of hair round her finger as she contemplated. "I understand now. The burden of guilt he must be carrying. He got you killed."

"No!" Ianto said quickly, shaking his head emphatically. "I got me killed. I followed Jack. Even if he'd asked me to stay behind I would have followed him. Short of knocking me unconscious and tying me up there wasn't anything he could have done. I wasn't going to let him face the 456 alone."

"It doesn't matter. Jack would feel responsible for your death no matter what. He's a lot like the Doctor in that respect. They know just being around them is dangerous. All they see are the people they allow themselves to care for getting hurt in their name. You're not the first person Jack has lost are you?" Ianto shook his head. "No, and the Doctor has lived for 900 years and lost his family, his planet, his entire race. So they push us away, try to keep their distance and when something goes wrong they take the blame and shoulder the guilt. They see it as their punishment for going on."

"But that's wrong." Ianto protested.

"Yes it is. And that's why we stay. People like the Doctor and Jack should never be alone, Ianto. Being alone with their guilt would drive them insane." Donna sighed.

"So what happens now?" Ianto said curiously. "Do we sit here for the next million years discussing what we've lost? I'm not exactly relishing the prospect. No offence."

Donna gave him a tight smile. "None taken. I can think of better things to do than sit on your sofa drinking coffee. Even good coffee. Besides I don't think that is part of the plan."

"Ah yes, the plan. This would be the clever little Time Lord plan? Can you let me in on the secret."

"No," Donna held her hands up in a defensive gesture as Ianto growled in annoyance. "I'm only guessing but even if I knew for sure I wouldn't tell you. As the Doctor was so fond of telling me. Spoilers!"

"So what do you think my role in the plan is, assuming you've guessed right." Ianto's voice was heavily laced with sarcasm. "Assuming there is in fact a purpose to all this and it's not just some elaborate dream of yours."

"Stop sulking. It doesn't suit you. Not to mention you'll get one of those deep little furrows in the middle of your forehead. You want to be looking your best next time you see Jack, and I'm not sure you can get hold of Botox here." Donna scolded him. She ignored Ianto as he spluttered indignantly. "You wait."

"Wait. You want me to wait? What for?"

"The same thing you've been waiting for until now. Jack." Donna said sympathetically. "That's what you're here for isn't it?"

Ianto gulped, his eyes blinded by sudden tears. "I thought if I just waited...But I'm just deluding myself. Jack won't ever come. He can't die."

"Everything dies eventually Ianto. It's the order of the universe." An image from the Doctor's memories flashed in front of Donnas' eyes, the Face of Boe, dying in the dead city of New New York five billion years in the future.

"I should let him go. He's moved on. I should do the same."

"But you won't will you. You'll wait here till the end of time if you have to. Won't you?"

Ianto nodded, keeping his eyes downcast to avoid Donna's sympathetic scrutiny . Donna leaned over and hugged him tight. "You're a very brave man Ianto. Jack doesn't deserve you. Or me for that matter. We are much too good for him."

Ianto pulled away. "So what are you going to do while I'm waiting?"

"I thought I might have another cup of your excellent coffee, find out a bit more about you and Jack and then have a kip on your sofa if you don't mind."

He looked at her askance, "That's the plan?"

"It's a plan. I never said it was THE plan." Donna said defensively. "Didn't you ever just wing it?"

"On occasion," Ianto admitted with a reluctant smile. "Of course the last time it killed me. Literally."

"Yes well. I'm hoping to have better luck." Donna held up crossed fingers in front of her face. "See."

"Indeed." Ianto couldn't think of anything else to say.

"So tell me about yourself Ianto. Any family? How did you meet Jack anyway?"

Ianto got to his feet and headed into the kitchen to make fresh coffee.

"Are you always this nosy?" he enquired as he disappeared through the doorway.

"Always," Donna retorted with a smirk as she admired his departing backside encased in a pair of worn Levi jeans. You had to give it to Captain Harkness. He had excellent taste.

* * *

They talked long into what Donna presumed was the night. The light behind the closed curtains never seemed to change. It was strange, listening to Ianto talk about Jack and Torchwood. She supposed she ought to feel jealousy at the life they had shared together. It was clear from Ianto's words that loving Jack was not easy. That the older man had done his best to hold his lover at arms length, pretending that everything was casual, when in truth it was clear to everyone but him, that he belonged to the young man sat beside her as surely as Ianto belonged to Jack. But there was no jealousy. She loved Jack. She was as sure that she loved Jack as much as Ianto did, but Jack and Ianto belonged to each other in a way that she and Jack never would. For the first time she understood her purpose. She had to keep Jack safe and sane, and give Ianto the faith to wait for him so that one day they could be together again.

Donna yawned and stretched. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. I could use some sleep myself," Ianto lied. He didn't sleep now, he simply lay on the bed trying to capture a trace of Jack's scent on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. "Let me get you a pillow and a blanket." He vanished into the bedroom and returned a minute later with a pillow and quilt both encased in snowy white, perfectly pressed Egyptian cotton. He held them out to Donna who took them with a smile.

"How did you ever cope with Jack's slovenly lifestyle?" she joked.

"It was very trying," Ianto allowed returning the smile, "The threat of punishment was very effective." Then he gave Donna a sly wink.

Donna felt herself flush. "Too much information Ianto Jones." She put the bedding down on the sofa. As she looked up Ianto held out his hand. She took it and to her surprise he lifted hers to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"I'm glad I met you Donna. I'm glad Jack met you. I don't want him to be alone."

"You're going to feel really silly if I'm here in the morning," Donna commented. "But just in case, I'm glad I met you too. I'll keep him safe for you, until it's time." At Ianto's sceptical look she grabbed his hand and looked deep into his eyes. "He will come Ianto. I'm sure of it." Releasing his hand she leant over and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight, Ianto. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Ianto crossed the room and pausing at the bedroom door looked back at Donna shaking out the duvet and spreading it on the sofa. Then he closed the door behind him knowing that when he opened it again Donna Noble would be gone and he would be alone once more. Waiting.

* * *

**So what do you think? Deliberately ambiguous? Dream, vision or meddling Time Lord? Suggestions in a review please *wink, wink* To be continued...**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Lovely big thank you's to everyone who's reviewed. I say it every chapter cos I mean it every chapter. It'll be a few days before I can post chapter 15 as it's still in the hands of my proofreader Jo *big cheer for Jo* who is not a Torchwood fan (I know I know but not everyone can be addicted like us). She says it means she's objective, but I've noticed that she is extremely happy when I give her a new chapter and she told me _'It's quite interesting, I want to know where it goes'_. This from Jo is high praise indeed.**

**Anyway first this chapter. Hopefully containing a little ray of hope for all Janto addicts everywhere...**

* * *

_Chapter XIV_

Something was wrong. The Doctor could feel the eddies in the vortex as the time streams began to fray around the edges. He'd ignored them at first, thrusting them to the edge of his consciousness, convinced they were just natural fluctuations, like a stone in pond, disturbing the still waters for only a moment, before the placid surface resumed once more. For two days now, they had pushed into his mind, growing more insistent, more menacing, until he couldn't ignore them any longer. Something was terribly wrong, something he hadn't accounted for. Something that was threatening to destroy all his endeavours.

"It's all going horribly wrong," he complained plaintively to the TARDIS. "You would think, wouldn't you, after all the hard work I put in to get to this point, that the least they could do is stick to the plan."

The TARDIS whined as the Doctor fiddled with one of the controls.

"Yes, I know they don't know what the plan is, but that is hardly the point. It's very inconsid..." He was broken off by the sound of his mobile phone ringing. With a sigh of annoyance at the interruption, he scrabbled in his voluminous pockets until he located the offending article, and drew it out with a flourish. He glanced at the caller display,

"Ha, I thought so," he said triumphantly, flicking the phone open. "Jack!" There was a moment of deathly silence when even the TARDIS seemed to be holding her breath. "Martha?" The Doctor's voice was suddenly desolate. "Oh God no. Of course I'm coming. Tell Jack I'll be there very soon." As he closed the phone, the Doctor slumped against the central console, looking every one of his nine hundred and three years, his face grey and wet with silent tears.

"Not Donna. Not now." His expression became stony. "Not her. No way. You don't get her. I'm not having it, do you hear," he said loudly. He turned to face the console and started to change the settings, redirecting their flight to Earth. The TARDIS groaned under the abrupt change of course. "You can quit complaining as well," he commented sharply, immediately feeling contrite. "Sorry old girl, I know you're worried too," he apologised, thinking how Donna would have mocked him for talking to the TARDIS in the old days, before she understood how alive it really was. "Let's get a shift on then," he said patting the central column encouragingly. It might have been his imagination, but it seemed to him that the column started to rise and fall just that little bit faster.

* * *

The TARDIS materialised on the roof of the hospital, smack bang in the centre of the helipad which had, until thirty seconds earlier, held the air ambulance helicopter. The Doctor barely had time to throw open the TARDIS doors when Jack appeared by the roof access. The Doctor stared at him in shock. Never had he seen Jack look so defeated, his eyes sunken and dull with pain and lack of sleep, his shoulders hunched. As he stepped forward through the open doors, Jack raised his head to look at him but didn't move, as if the effort of putting one foot in front of the other was too much to manage.

The Doctor walked briskly across the helipad, his trainers squeaking on the wet tarmac, his coat flapping round his ankles in the breeze. As he reached Jack, he pulled the unresisting man into a hug, knowing that words were not needed at that moment, only comfort and understanding. He felt, rather than heard the single sob which issued from Jack's lips, and it twisted his hearts. Looking over Jack's shoulder he could see, just inside the doorway, the figures of Martha and Gwen, silent, watching Jack with fear on their faces. And the Doctor knew just from the look in their eyes, how deep Jack's despair was. If Jack lost Donna now he would run, and this time he would never come back. And one day soon the Earth would fall.

"Jack?" the Doctor spoke soothingly, as though he was addressing a young child. "Where's Donna?"

Jack raised his gaze to meet the Doctor's, his expression shockingly hostile, then without a word he pulled away from the Doctor, turned on his heel and disappeared inside. The Doctor moved to follow him, but Martha put her hand on his arm bringing him to a halt. She looked uncertainly at him. He gave her a small smile and leaning over, kissed her cheek.

"Martha," he said warmly. "How are you? How's life at Torchwood?"

"It was great until two days ago. I don't know what to do Doctor. I've never seen him like this, not even after..."

"Ianto died." Gwen finished giving the Doctor a swift hug of greeting. "Last time it was over so suddenly, and there was nothing he could do. Now, he's just watching, waiting for her to die and he's pulling away with every passing minute. You have to do something. We're losing him and he's still right here." Her voice was pleading.

"I'm not going to let that happen." The Doctor asserted, sounding a good deal more confident than he felt. "Martha, fill me in on what happened." He set off at a run in the direction Jack had taken. Martha smiled apologetically at Gwen and set off after him.

"Running. Always with the running," she called after the Doctor. Gwen followed them at a slow walk, feeling more optimistic than she had done for the last two days. The Doctor was here. He would put it right. After all, that was what he did, wasn't it?

* * *

After thirty paces Martha caught up with the Doctor who was stood at the top of the stairs waiting impatiently for her. She stood panting, trying to catch her breath, then looked at the Doctor. For a moment it was as though a stranger was looking back at her, his eyes weary.

"How bad is she?" he asked slowly.

"Honestly? We don't know. That's the problem. There was a complication with the labour. The baby is fine," she said quickly, answering his unspoken question. "It's a girl, but Donna bled heavily and lost a lot of blood. They had to do a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding. They've transfused her, and according to the surgeons, there is no reason why she shouldn't make a full recovery. But she's not waking up. Her vitals are erratic and her brain wave activity is strange, non existent one minute, off the charts the next. But the periods of activity are become less and less frequent as if her brain is shutting down. She's been in a coma for two days now. The UNIT neurosurgeon says that if she doesn't come round soon she may degenerate into a persistent vegetative state and her heart may give out. I'm a doctor, I've flown halfway round the Universe with you. I should be able to help her and all I can do is sit around and hold Jack's hand. Not that he'll let me. You're the first person I've seen him bear to touch apart from Donna and the baby since it happened."

"What happened to Donna wasn't your fault Martha. I'm just glad you were here for Jack. Even if he doesn't appreciate it now he will one day. Come on, let's have a look at the patient." His voice was cheerful, but Martha could hear the underlying worry.

She led him down the stairs to the High Dependency Unit. Outside a side room, the Doctor could see Wilf leaning against the wall. He looked old and frail. As he saw the Doctor his eyes lit up and he hurried along the corridor to meet him.

"Doctor. Thank God you're here. You're going to help her, aren't you? Help my Donna wake up."

"Hello Wilf," the Doctor shook his hand vigorously, "I'm going to do my best. How are you holding up?"

"I'll be fine once my girl wakes up," Wilf replied. "I'm doing better than Jack. You better go in."

The Doctor looked round the door into the side room. Across the room, Donna lay immobile surrounded by machines and wires looking fragile and oh, so small against the white bed. Jack sat in a chair beside the bed stroking her hair which was fanned out on the pillow. The doctor took an involuntary step backwards. She looked so wrong, lying there. Donna Noble should be laughing with him, running alongside him, asking impossible questions.

"Oh Donna," he said quietly. "I am so sorry."

At his entrance Jack looked up, "You fix this." His voice was hard, he refused to meet the Doctors' eyes.

"Jack..."

"No, Doctor. You're here this time. There are no excuses. You fix this. Now!" As he spoke he stood up and moved away from the bed allowing the Doctor to approach Donna's side. "I don't care what you have to do. What goddam rules you have to break. You just bring her back."

The Doctor didn't reply. He couldn't promise that he could fix this, he wasn't a god despite what some of his companions had seemed to think. There were some things that just couldn't be fixed. He really, really, hoped this wasn't one of them. And as for rules, at the moment there wasn't one he could think of which he wouldn't break for Donna if he had to. They just didn't seem that important.

"Can you leave us alone for a few minutes?" he said gently. Jack looked as if he was about to disagree but Gwen, who had just that moment appeared at the door, caught his arm,

"Jack, your daughter needs you. Let the Doctor do what he has to do." Her voice was low and calm. Without a word Jack allowed himself to be led from the room.

"Thank you," the Doctor mouthed to Gwen as she turned to leave. She acknowledged him with a imperceptible nod and closed the door behind her leaving the Doctor and Donna alone.

* * *

The Doctor looked at the monitor measuring brain wave activity. It was barely registering on the scale.

"OK, not good," he said. "Could do with a bit more information." He fumbled in his pocket pulling out his sonic screwdriver and fiddled with the settings. Pointing it at Donna's head he activated it, anxiously looking at the readings on the side panel.

"Oooh, now that's interesting. There is brain wave activity but not where it should be. Humans in this time period don't even know this bit of the brain exists. It's..." He trailed off as he remembered he didn't have an audience.

"Now then Donna," the Doctor said under his breath. "Let's see what's going on in there. And it better not be some drunken orgy." Carefully he placed his fingertips on either side of Donnas' temples and closed his eyes.

He let his mind access Donnas' thoughts, pushing through the barriers in her mind with just the merest pressure, searching for some sign of the Donna Noble he knew and loved. But it was dark and he was alone.

"Come on Donna I know you're in here somewhere," he muttered, trying to ignore the fear in his stomach. Deeper and deeper he pushed, until he knew he was coming close to that area of her mind that should be closed to her forever. When he'd taken away Donna's memories of her time with him in the TARDIS, he hadn't wiped her mind. That would have been too damaging, it would have removed some of those qualities that made Donna the person she was, and he hadn't been prepared to risk that. Instead, he'd moved them, locked them away in an area of her mind which she would never be able to access, a place no-one even knew existed. And it was there that he found her. As he pushed though the next barrier, there she was, vital and alive and...not alone. Intrigued the Doctor expanded his mind to try and capture the other presence.

"Now that is brilliant!" he suddenly said out loud to the empty room. "Totally impossible...but just brilliant. I love it when I'm right, which of course I always am...well most of the time...well at least fifty percent of the time. Now, how do I get her back?"

In Donna's mind, he searched around looking for the memory block's he'd put in place. Whatever happened now he had to make sure she came out with the block's intact. But maybe he could release one, just for a moment, give her a mental nudge and show her the bigger picture. What was at stake. Maybe that would be enough to convince her to allow herself to wake up. Scanning about he located one, containing just a few memories of their time together, nothing of the vast Time Lord knowledge which had threatened to destroy her. Time for that mental nudge, a trigger. Something uniquely him. The sonic screwdriver. He allowed his mind to touch Donna's for a fraction of a second. And looked in satisfaction as the block tumbled down, freeing the memories within.

The Doctor felt Donna scream his name as the memories overwhelmed her. The urge to reach out to her mind again was almost overwhelming but he kept back, allowing her consciousness to make sense of the memories. He was so engrossed in trying to keep his distance that he was totally unprepared for the tendril of Donna's mind which whipped out around his own. For a moment their minds merged. Slightly panicked, the Doctor pushed Donna from his mind. She shouldn't be able to do that. Only Reinette had ever been able to see into his mind that way. As before he had not had time to protect his thoughts. How much had she seen? Enough, he thought an instant later, as he sensed her angry cries of indignation. At her next words, he couldn't help sending an equally indignant and somewhat resigned thought back to her. _For the last time, I am not a Martian._

Time to go he realised, before I break any more of the barriers down. Something that could really hurt her. Casting his mind around he could see some of the blocks were looking a little shaky. Touching Donna's mind again, more carefully this time so she wasn't aware of his presence, he could sense that, with her memories and the information she had absorbed from his mind, she had started to put the pieces together. Of course she had, she was fantastic. _Time to go_, he nudged gently, _say your goodbyes_. He felt her mind resist, just a little, as if she hadn't quite finished. _Just a few minutes more_, she seemed to say. _He needs me, for just a few minutes more_. The Doctor waited. It was the least he could do.

Soon the Doctor felt Donna's mind relax and he realised they were alone. The other presence was gone. Carefully he pulled the released memories back from Donna's thoughts and secured them away, back in the hidden part of her mind. Then he carefully withdrew, leading Donna's consciousness back to where it belonged.

He opened his eyes and lifted his hands away from her head. The room was glaringly bright and he had to blink several times to clear his vision. Glancing at the clock on the wall he saw that only a few minutes had passed. He looked down at Donna and then at the monitors. To his relief he saw that her vitals had stabilised and her brain wave pattern was now reading normal REM sleep. He ran his hand through his hair and grinned,

"Well, that was interesting. No one could ever accuse you of being ordinary could they Donna. Take care of yourself and that great hulking Harkness won't you." Then with a soft smile he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I miss you, you know. Just in case you were wondering. Bye for now." Then he turned and walked out of the room without looking back.

* * *

In the corridor outside, Martha, Gwen, Wilf and Sylvia were all leaning against the wall opposite displaying varying degrees of impatience. There was no sign of Jack. As the Doctor exited the room, they all turned to face him a look of expectation on their faces.

"Doctor, did you fix my Donna?" Wilf asked, putting into words the question they all wanted to ask.

The Doctor's face cracked into a wide grin. "Of course I did. She's sleeping normally now. She'll probably wake up in half an hour or so."

Wilf gave a whoop of joy. "I knew you could do it. Didn't I say Sylvie my girl, the Doctor can do anything!" Her eyes brimming with grateful tears Sylvia nodded.

"Thank you," she said sincerely.

"Anything for Donna," the Doctor said lightly, although every person present knew he meant it. "Now, I need to be safely out of here before she wakes up. Where's Jack?"

"On the next floor down, with the baby," Gwen said quickly. "I'll take you."

"Lead the way," the Doctor said cheerfully, holding his arm out. Gwen linked arms and they set off down the corridor leaving Martha, Wilf and Sylvia to crowd into Donna's room.

* * *

In the maternity ward, Jack waited. It was his fault. Again. He'd put Donna in danger just by being around her. He looked at his daughter sleeping against his chest, a shock of deep auburn hair already crowning her head. How long would it be before she suffered too, just because Jack Harkness was her father. He should run, he knew that. Run far away. It had been a mistake to ever come back. He should never have listened to the Doctor. He had manipulated their lives and Donna was paying the price. At that moment, foolish as it seemed, he wished he had never met the Doctor and been swept into the maelstrom that was his life. He would wait until it was over, until he was sure his daughter was safe and then leave. Let Gwen look after her, bring her up. He knew she would without asking. He could always depend on Gwen.

He heard a movement in the corridor and looked up, jolted out of his morbid thoughts. Gwen stood in the doorway, and behind her the Doctor, both wearing wide foolish smiles. Jack felt his heart leap, all thoughts of running gone from his mind.

"Doctor?" His voice was hoarse with anticipation.

"She's going to be fine Jack. She'll be awake in half an hour or so."

Jack leapt to his feet, disturbing his daughter who began to wail indignantly.

"Here, give her to me," Gwen demanded and without waiting for an answer plucked the screaming infant out of Jack's arms. In two steps, Jack had moved past Gwen, a thousand watt smile on his face, and kissed the Doctor full on the mouth.

The Doctor spluttered. "I'm not sure that was necessary," he said brusquely wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"It was absolutely necessary," Jack retorted. "How else can I thank you?"

"Saying it would have been fine," the Doctor replied mildly but his face was wreathed in a cheeky smile. "And you're welcome."

"She's really alright?" Jack said unbelievingly.

"Really," the Doctor assured her. "Right as rain."

"What was wrong?" Jack asked. "Why wouldn't she wake up?"

This was the tricky bit, the Doctor mused, it wasn't the right time to tell Jack who he had found in Donna's mind. It had only confirmed his beliefs, convinced him that the path he had chosen for them all was the right one. But it was too soon, way too soon and in some things Jack Harkness was not a patient man.

"She'd just got a bit lost," he said finally, deciding on being deliberately ambiguous. "I just helped her find her way home."

Jack looked at him sceptically. "There has to be more to it than that."

"There is," the Doctor confirmed with a sly wink, "but I think you know me better than that. Spoilers. Major spoilers! Just sit back and enjoy the ride. I think you're going to have your hands full. She clearly takes after her mother." The Doctor stepped over to take a look at the baby in Gwens' arms. "She's beautiful Jack. Does she have a name?"

"Not yet. I was waiting for Donna." Jack looked at the clock impatiently.

The Doctor laughed, "Go on. I'll see myself out." Jack grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Thank you. You'll never know how much this means to me."

"I have a good idea," the Doctor replied, but he was talking to an empty space. He turned back to Gwen.

"A pleasure as always Gwen Williams," he said bowing low and then without waiting for her to reply he blew her a kiss and disappeared in a flurry of coat tails.

* * *

**Don't you just love meddling Time Lords *winks*. Oh how I wish he'd meddled on CoE Day 4 and saved us all many soggy tissues *sighs and sniffs***


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay getting this up. Hopefully it's worth the wait. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, story alerted and added Purpose as a favourite story. i am trying to reply to everyone who has reviewed personally, but I'm afraid I'm running a little behind. Apologies and be assured I will get there eventually. Please don't let it put you off reviewing. I love them * hugs all round***

* * *

_Chapter XV_

"Donna?" Jack's worried voice filtered into Donna's consciousness from a long way off. Her name, repeated over and over.

"Sod off Jack, person trying to sleep here," she muttered crossly, trying to pull the duvet over her head. It was at that point she realised she couldn't move her arms. She forced her eyes to open and Jack's face swam hazily in front of her. With shock she realised that he was crying, although the smile on his face was the widest she'd ever seen. Shifting her gaze down she saw needles and tubes taped into her arms. Looking around she saw sterile white walls, stainless steel and beside the bed a monitor beeping steadily. She was in hospital. Why? Suddenly she remembered. The baby. There had been something wrong. Her momentary panic was dispelled by the tears of joy on Jack's face. Surely if anything had been wrong with the baby, his face would be telling a very different picture. The last thing she remembered was being wheeled down the long corridor to the operating theatre and pain, lots of pain.

"Sweetheart. I thought I'd lost you." Jack gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "I was so scared."

"Jack Harkness scared? Ssh, you'll ruin your tough guy reputation," Donna croaked, her throat parched. Immediately Jack held a cup of water with a straw to her lips and she sucked on it greedily.

"Easy," Jack warned. "I don't want you choking to death now."

Donna gave him a Look (capital L included) over the rim of the cup and Jack felt a warm glow. She was back. His Donna was back.

"Jack," she said finally, her voice sounding much more normal. "What the hell am I doing in hospital?" The dark shadows beneath Jack's eyes reminded Donna of the day she had first seen him. When his grief over Ianto had been raw. Whatever had happened to her must have been bad. Bad enough to cause that grief to resurface again. Jack needed to know she was really OK, and at that moment winding him up seemed the best way to do it.

Jack frowned. "Er don't you remember?" The Doctor hadn't mentioned anything about memory loss. Although to be fair he hadn't really given him the chance to say anything much.

"Would I be asking if I did?" Donna said cuttingly. Taken aback Jack failed to notice the telling glint in her eye.

"Er....I....um...." Jack was lost for words. He'd been so wrapped up in wondering whether Donna would wake up, that he hadn't given any thought to what he would say when she did. How he could tell her what he had let the doctors do.

Donna looked at Jack's suddenly stricken face and felt a sudden shaft of fear. There was still something wrong, something Jack couldn't tell her. All thoughts of winding Jack up evaporated. She grabbed his wrist tightly, squeezing so hard that he winced.

"What is it Jack? What's the matter? Is there something wrong with the baby?" Her voice was urgent and high pitched as the fear rose in her chest.

"You do remember." Jack said accusingly, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. "Not funny Donna. If you knew what we've all been through the last two days. Me and your mum, not to mention Wilf and Gwen.

"I'm sorry," Donna cried out, her eyes tearing. "Please Jack. Just tell me."

Jack focused on her white face and his expression softened as his anger vanished, "She's fine, sweetheart."

"It's a girl?" Donna choked, as she started to smile through her tears.

Jack nodded. "She's beautiful Donna. She's just like you, green eyes, auburn hair, incredible set of lungs and a temper!" He laughed. "She's perfect. Thank you for giving her to me." He leaned over and gave her an intense and passionate kiss. Donna tried to wrap her arms around him but found her progress impeded by the tangle of wires and tubes.

"Can I get out of this lot?" she said somewhat aggrieved.

"Not until the doctors give you the all clear," Jack replied, his voice turning serious. "It was touch and go there for a while."

"What happened to me?" Donna asked curiously.

"Not now, I'll tell you later. After you've met our daughter. I'll be right back."

Before Donna could protest he had vanished out of the door. She could vaguely hear the protesting voices of her mum and grandad demanding to be let into see her, but she guessed Jack had asked him to wait as the voices faded away and the door remained firmly closed. She felt faintly annoyed that Jack was clearly keeping something from her. Whatever it was, it was enough to turn him into a coward. Something which only happened when he was truly afraid of the consequences, of being rejected. Aware of the nagging pain across her stomach, thankfully numbed by what she presumed was a healthy cocktail of drugs, she started to think she had an inkling of what it might be. She pushed it to the back of her mind, she couldn't think about it now.

The door banged as Jack barged his way through clutching a bundle wrapped in a yellow cellular blanket. The bundle was making a lot of noise. Donna smiled. Jack reached down and placed the bundle in the crook of Donna's elbow so she could curl her arm around it.

"Your daughter, Mrs Harkness," he announced proudly.

"Your daughter too," Donna said softly as she looked into her daughters' green eyes. She was dying to reach over and touch her face, feel her tiny hand grip her fingers, but once again the wires prevented her. It was the final straw.

"OK Jack," she said impatiently, her eyes flashing dangerously. "I don't care who you have to speak to, just get me out of this lot. I want to hold my baby!"

Jack saluted and disappeared without a word. Seconds later he was back with a battery of doctors in tow.

"Mrs Harkness..." one began, who judging by the deference the others showed him, was the most senior. "I really must advise..."

He got no further.

"Listen sunshine," Donna said icily. "I feel fine. I am fine. I'm not asking you to withdraw life support. I just want to hold my daughter and if these tubes are not out of me in sixty seconds I will tear them out myself and then scream negligence. Do I make myself clear? Well?" Jack just waited to one side watching in amusement as the doctors stood in stunned silence. Almost as one they turned to look at him, looking for some support but he merely shrugged his shoulders. He valued his life too much to stand in the way of Donna Noble on a mission.

"You heard the lady," he said, slightly apologetically.

At once the doctors seemed to spring into action, crowding round the bed. Jack carefully lifted the baby away so that they could work without hindrance. Almost immediately Donna felt the stinging pain of needles being removed from her arms and hands

"You can leave the pain medication one," she said quickly to a young black female doctor, aware again of the pain in her stomach. Martha bobbed her head with a grin to avoid Donna's gaze. She didn't think that Donna would recognise her but she didn't want to take the chance. She had just needed to see Donna awake and know she was alright for herself.

"Of course Ma'am," she said deferentially.

"Oi, are you being funny?" Donna warned.

"Not at all Mrs Harkness. It's just nice to see an assertive woman giving this bunch what for." Martha explained, trying desperately to avoid Donna's gaze again. Jack coughed and threw her a warning glance and wordlessly she backed out of the room, back to the safety of the corridor.

After a few more moments the doctors moved aside and Donna found, to her relief, that she could now move her arms freely, although they felt heavy and somewhat alien. Impatiently she beckoned Jack over, who immediately deposited the baby into her waiting arms. For the first time Donna looked at her daughter properly. As if aware of her mothers scrutiny the little girl shifted slightly and looked straight into her mother's eyes. Wise eyes, Donna thought in wonderment, no more than that, old eyes. Jack had been right, the colour was most definitely from her, but the look in them, the look of knowledge of a thousand lifetimes, that was pure Jack.

"Hello beautiful," she said in a awed whisper. "Sorry I'm late." She felt tears cascade down her cheeks. In the next instant Jack was sitting on the bed beside her and had lifted her to cradle the pair of them against his chest. Catching sight of their reflection in the small mirror above the handbasin on the opposite wall, he caught his breath. It was a sight he had thought he would never see again. A family, his family.

* * *

Twenty minutes later loud voices in the corridor alerted Donna to the fact that neither her mother, Wilf or Gwen (judging by the Welsh accent) were prepared to be held at bay any longer.

"She's my daughter. You have no right to keep me out her!" Sylvia was saying, not quite shouting but using that tone of voice Donna recognised from her teens. The one that brooked no argument.

"Jack, for God's sake let them in or I won't be held responsible for the consequences." Donna urged with a smile.

Jack grimaced. "I was enjoying having you all to myself for a while. Besides there are some things we need to talk about. His voice was serious.

"Will anything change if we talk about it later rather than now?" Donna asked.

Jack shook his head.

"Then we talk about it later." Donna decided. "We need to present out daughter officially to the world." She smacked her forehead theatrically with the palm of her hand. "That's a point. What is she called? I assume you've given her a name."

Jack looked scandalised. "Of course I haven't named her. I was waiting for you. I'm not going to take my life in my hands by giving our daughter the name Mercedes without checking with you first." He looked at Donna's horrified expression, and winked.

"Gotcha,"

Donna rewarded him with another Look (this time underlined for emphasis), and her eyes narrowed.

"Actually I was thinking of Siân," she said airily, looking at the now sleeping infant.

"Siân?" Jack tried the name out. " Siân Harkness. I like it. No middle name?"

Donna shook her head, "Doesn't need one."

"Alright, Siân Harkness it is. I'll go let your mother in before she kicks the door down." Jack stood up, propping Donna against some pillows and moved towards the door. Pausing he turned to look at her.

"What made you decide on Siân. It's not one of the names you were tossing about before?" Jack remembered one particular conversation where the names Evangeline and Beatrice had been suggested, Donna's excuse being that she had been a big fan of the House of Elliot television show when she was younger. He hadn't minded Evangeline but had ruled out Beatrice with a snort of derision.

Donna looked at him a little oddly, as if his question was a surprise.

"Because it was Ianto's grandmother's name of course, the one he was named after. By the way Jack, all those times you told me about Ianto you never mentioned what a nice ass he had."

Whatever answer Jack had been expecting it wasn't that. He stood for a full minute gaping at her, whilst she gave him an exasperated look.

"Jack? The door?" she said finally. Unspeaking Jack fumbled with the door handle, pulling the door open and waving Sylvia and Wilf inside. Then the stepped through the door grabbing Gwen's arm as he passed and pulling her back outside.

"Jack? What are you playing at? I want to go see Donna," Gwen protested.

"Where's the Doctor?" Jack asked urgently.

"He's gone," Gwen said. "Just after he came to find you. Why? Is anything wrong?"

"Not exactly..." Jack seemed to struggle for words. "It's probably nothing. It doesn't matter. You go in. Tell Donna I'll be back in a minute." He released Gwen's arm and after a final curious glance at him she disappeared inside the room.

* * *

Jack walked out of the High Dependency Unit and into a corridor, where there were no signs proclaiming that mobile phones were banned. Then he dialled the Doctor's number. After thirty rings when neither the Doctor or his answering machine had answered, Jack came to the conclusion the Doctor was avoiding him. He wasn't exactly surprised. The Doctor had clearly been hiding something about Donna's coma, and he obviously wasn't prepared to let Jack in on the big secret. In truth Jack felt a little hurt that the Doctor didn't trust him, although he had no doubt that the Doctor felt he was doing what was best for him. It was almost as if he were a child who couldn't be trusted to make the right decisions for himself. What secret could be so important that he couldn't be trusted to think clearly.

After staring at the phone for a moment he dialled another number. This one was answered on the first ring.

"Lois?" Jack jumped in as soon as Lois answered, "I need you to look up some information in a sealed personnel file...Yes, Donna and the baby are both fine now. I'm glad Gwen called you. We're calling her Siân. Lois? The personnel file? I need you to look at Ianto's file. His family history. Can you tell me what his grandmothers' names were. No, first names." Jack impatiently tapped the fingers of his free hand against his thigh as he waited for Lois to pull up the relevant information. Finally he heard Lois pick up the phone at the other end and listened carefully. "Bronwyn and Siân," he repeated. "Yes, that is a coincidence. Thank you Lois."

As he hung up Jack looked at the phone in his hand and leant back against the wall of the corridor. How had Donna known? It wasn't as if Siân was a really common name. He hadn't known what Ianto's grandmother was called. Beyond his sister Rhiannon, Jack didn't know much about Ianto's family at all. He'd always been a bit reticent to talk about them, or his childhood, if truth be told. Jack hadn't minded. He could appreciate the value of keeping your past in the past. But Donna had known, and what is more seemed surprised that Jack didn't. And as for that comment about Ianto's ass. Where the hell had that come from? You didn't discuss the quality of your ex's ass with your wife, even if he had no argument with her assessment. What had she been doing all that time she was in the coma? What had the Doctor found in her mind? What was this grand scheme the Doctor seemed so intent on seeing played out to his rules, giving manipulation a whole new definition? As Jack wandered back along the corridor, unanswerable questions buzzing round his head, he wondered for the thousandth time just what ultimate purpose would justify the Doctor engineering his and Donna's, and now Siân's, lives together.

* * *

When he reached Donna's room he peeped round the door to glimpse Donna peering past the fussing form of her mother, looking in dire need of rescue. The smile on her face was fixed and as she spotted him her eyes pleaded help. With a wink at her he strode him clapping his hands in an authoritative manner saying,

"Come on now. Time's up. The new mother needs her rest. Out! The lot of you!"

There was much grumbling from Sylvia but Wilf, to his credit, took her firmly by the arm.

"Come on love. Let Donna get some rest now. See you tomorrow darlin'. Look after that little angel." He bent down and gave first Siân and then Donna a kiss on the cheek, then led the still protesting Sylvia from the room.

As they left Gwen gave Jack a hug and then vanished after them with a wave.

"Finally!" Donna breathed with a sigh. "I love them to death, but God. You'd think no-one had ever had a baby before the way my mother was talking. All the do's and don'ts. I think even Gwen was intimidated. She tried to suggest some ideas for breastfeeding techniques, assuming I still can after all this, and my mother looked at her like she was an alien from another planet and asked whether she was one of those, quote 'hippy mothers who got their breasts out all over the place'. I've never seen Gwen speechless before."

Jack laughed. "Gwen's perfected the art of turning a deaf ear. Your mother is chicken feed next to Rhys's mother. Now she is scary. I consider myself quite lucky in choice of mother-in-laws..."

Donna batted at him with her free hand. "Shut up and take Siân for a minute. My arm has gone to sleep. I want to have a go feeding her."

Jack took Siân from her and gently rocked his daughter cooing softly whilst Donna fidgeted trying to get herself into a comfy position. Then she beckoned for Jack to return the baby to her and she set about trying to get Siân to latch on. After a frustrating couple of minutes where Siân seemed interested in every part of Donna except the bit she was being aimed at, Donna huffed at her daughter.

"Look sweetheart. You need to feed. I need to feed you. Give your mother a break and stop playing hard to get." In reply, Siân head-butted Donna none to gently and then obediently proceeded to begin suckling at her breast.

Donna smiled, "That feels really weird. Nice... but weird. How did you feed her while I was out? Formula?"

Jack shook his head with a wicked smile, "Breast milk. Expressed."

Donna blushed scarlet, "You mean..."

"Yep. I had to fondle your breasts six time a day. Terrible chore."

"I bet," Donna replied acidly. "I hope we were alone."

"Every time," Jack promised. Then his eyes turned serious and when he continued his voice was low. "The doctor's thought I was mad but I thought that as long as you could feed her then there was a chance you'd come out of it. If I'd let them give her a bottle of formula it would have felt like giving up on you. I wasn't prepared to do that."

Donna reached up with her free hand and stroked his face. "I don't know what happened while I was gone. I dreamt something – something really important, but it's all a blur now. What I do know was it was suddenly very important I come back to you. To keep you safe. So that's what we're going to do Jack, Siân and I. We're here to keep you safe and we're not going anywhere, ever again."

Jack caught her hand. "I love you, you know that don't you."

"I know"

"There's something I need to tell you. About the labour."

Donna swallowed hard, "It went wrong didn't it? Badly?" Jack nodded hating himself for not being able to say the words. "What did they do Jack?" Her voice was tight as if she already knew the answer, which of course she did.

"Hysterectomy." It was such a bald, clinical word. "There was no choice, you would have died and they asked my permission and..." Jack rushed on, aware that Donna's face was set in stone. She deliberately withdrew her hand from his and instead stroked Siân's cheek. Jack flinched.

"I'm sorry Donna. You have to believe me." Jack was babbling, he knew it. She had to say something. Why wouldn't she say something, anything. Even to rail at him.

"Say something. Please," he pleaded.

Donna brought her eyes up to meet his. There was no blame, no recriminations, in their depths just a dark shadow of loss.

"I wanted more. I didn't want Siân to be an only child like I was. I wanted to give you a son Jack. I'm so sorry." And then she started to cry, silently, great tears rolling down her face falling onto Siân's head. Sensing her mother's distress, Siân nuzzled still closer, comforting in her nearness. Donna put her hand out blindly feeling for Jack's hand and when he grasped hers she pulled him close with surprising strength.

"It's no-ones fault," she said thickly. "Especially not yours Jack. If you hadn't agreed I wouldn't be here. I'd have missed her."

Jack dropped a kiss on her forehead, sensing that anything more wouldn't have been right at that moment. He sat on the edge of the bed.

"Will you stay here tonight?" Donna asked. "I don't want to be on my own." Without a word Jack kicked off his boots and lay down beside her on the bed, her head resting in the circle of his arms. He reached out and dimmed the lights, then closed his eyes listening to the soft sounds of Donna breathing and Siân's snuffles. Within minutes he was fast asleep, the first sleep he'd had in three days, his breathing deep and even.

Donna looked up at his face, relaxed and peaceful in repose.

"I love you Jack." Donna said quietly so as not to disturb either Jack or Siân. "I'm lucky to have you. Even if it's just for a little while."

* * *

**So what exactly does Donna remember? I love playing with you guys. *winks* I hope you don't mind.**

**BTW Siân and Ianto both mean 'God is gracious' or 'God's gift'. Kinda cool. And, as Jack is (in some cases) the pet form of John, which also means "God is gracious' or 'God's gift' it's all very profound. Of course Jack's real name isn't Jack but I like the symmetry anyway. Donna means 'lady' or more accurately 'lady of the house'. Read into that what you will.**

**More coming soon. We moving into the home stretch...**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: Thank you everyone for the phenomenal reviews. I just love reading them and replying to you all. This chapter is bit shorter than the last four monsters, but is significantly more fluffy than of late although with a sense of foreboding. Oh and in case you're wondering Siân is pronounced Sharn. I should have said last chapter. Mea Culpa. Anyway enjoy and please keep reviewing if you get chance. They make me so happy and are quite good at getting me past moments of writer's block. Wierd but true!**

* * *

_Chapter XVI_

"What's this?" Donna called, waving a gaudily wrapped parcel in front of Jack's face.

Jack finished shrugging off his coat and hung it on the peg. He glanced at Donna and the parcel and then beyond her to the small figure of Siân who was bouncing up and down with the enthusiasm that only a three year old can display. As she met her father's eye he winked causing her to squeal in excitement and ran towards him to be swept up in a bear hug. Giggling she smacked a kiss on his chin.

"Ow! You're all prickly, Daddy," she complained her green eyes fixing Jack with a stare that left him in no doubt that she considered this a crime of the worst kind. Jack shifted Siân's weight to one arm and with his now free hand ruefully rubbed his chin.

"That's because Daddy get any sleep and hasn't had chance to shave yet," he said, adopting a grumpy tone.

"Why?" Ahh, the first why of the day. There would probably be a thousand more before bedtime. Jack grinned and kissed Siân on the nose, ignoring her wriggling attempt to avoid his stubble.

"Daddy had to work all night," he explained with a chuckle sending Donna an apologetic look. "Were you a good girl for Mummy?"

"Of course," Siân replied before Donna could speak.

Jack looked to Donna for confirmation who nodded with a knowing smile.

"Oh she went straight to sleep of course. It just took me forty minutes to drag her away from her book into bed...as usual." Donna ruffled her daughter's hair affectionately.

Jack rolled his eyes theatrically making Siân giggle again.

"And what book was it this time?"

"Five Go to Mystery Moor," Donna said. "Again."

Jack grinned. It hadn't taken very long before he and Donna had realised they had somehow produced a child prodigy. Walking unaided at ten months, talking at twelve, whilst other children Siân's age were still battling with their ABCs Siân was already reading books for children three times her age. And her abilities in writing and maths were equally as extraordinary. Donna had accepted it with a toss of her head and a barbed comment that she expected nothing less from her daughter, but her pride and wonderment were evident every time she watched Siân perform some miraculous new task.

Jack had questioned it. Of course he had. It was too much of a coincidence that Siâns' abilities had arisen by chance, given her parentage. He had tried to contact the Doctor, but since Siân's birth he had been keeping his distance. Flatly refusing to discuss how Donna could have known Ianto's grandmother's name, he had also been reticent to talk about Siâns' abilities. He had contented himself with saying that he couldn't see how Donna's buried knowledge could be passed on. That it could be something to do with Jack but, since Jack wasn't supposed to exist, there was no way he could guess what it might be. When Jack mentioned, somewhat pointedly, that none of his previous children had displayed such talents, the Doctor had merely waved his objections away. However to Jack's irritation his eyes had glittered telling Jack that, as always, he knew much more than he was saying. After several unsuccessful attempts to draw the Doctor out, a resigned Jack gave up and just accepted that his daughter was more special than anybody realised.

* * *

After Siân was born, Donna had stayed at home for a year, finishing her studies and enjoying the experience of motherhood, which she seemed to find effortless. For Jack, Torchwood had taken a back seat and he had cheerfully handed over the day to day running of the Hub to Martha and Gwen with stern instructions to contact him if there was anything more serious than a Weevil attack. He knew they'd ignored him as, on the grapevine came news of a failed Nostrovite incursion and a nasty little incident involving a flesh-eating virus of extraterrestrial origin. He didn't care. This time he was embracing fatherhood wholeheartedly. Taking dirty nappies (Donna refused to let him call them diapers) and midnight feeds in his stride. Donna laughingly called him a new man and was surprised and touched to see him colour up. The truth was Jack was a new man. He could imagine a future which wasn't filled with pain and, although he would always have regrets and secrets he could never share with Donna, for the first time he felt like he was in an honest relationship. Soon after Siân was born he had considered telling Donna about Alice, the daughter he had lost. He had asked Gwen, whether he should and she had looked at him in incredulity.

"You must be mad Jack!" she exploded, her Welsh accent becoming more pronounced as it always did when she was emotional. "If she finds out you've been keeping Alice's existence from her all this time, she'll be devastated. Not to mention that Alice and Donna are not that different in age. You'd have a hell of a job explaining that. Let it lie Jack."

"But I can't pretend I don't have another daughter." Jack protested.

"I know," Gwen said gently. "But Jack, all that telling Donna will do is hurt her and you. It's not like Alice is ever going to be part of your life again. I'm sorry Jack," she said seeing the pained look on his face, "but you know that it's true. For Donna's sake, leave Alice in the past. Just concentrate on your new family. The one's you can still help."

So he had taken Gwen's advice and stayed silent, burying the guilt he felt in denying Alice's and, by association, Steven's existence. And he tried to ignore the small but insistent voice in the back of his mind which reminded him that this new family couldn't last, that one day in the not too distant future, he would lose all of them too.

* * *

"Jack?" Donna said, startling him out of his thoughts. "The present?"

Jack focused on the box Donna was waving in front of him and with a smile lowered Siân down to the floor.

"It's for Siân," he said. "From a friend at work. He was sorry he'd missed her birthday last month." In actuality Jack had found the parcel on the front seat of the SUV earlier that day with a note, in a familiar hand, saying 'Whoops. Late again. Love to D & S x'

At his words Siân started to jump up and down excitedly her arms outstretched towards the parcel. With an indulgent smile Donna reached down and handed her the parcel. Turning on her heel she sped into the living room with Jack following closely behind. Sat on the floor in the middle of the room Siân ripped at the paper, scattering it, confetti-like, across the carpet. Jack sat down on the sofa and watched with interest as she pulled out a sturdy box with a picture of a microscope on the side. Jack raised his eyebrows. Clearly the Doctor was intent on expanding Siân's knowledge in the field of science. Siân's face lit up.

"A microscope Daddy. Can we get some soil from the garden to look at? Mummy says it's full of bugs too small to see called bacteria. Can we look now? Please Daddy?" She fluttered her eyelashes and turned her eyes to him pleadingly in a gesture she knew would have the maximum effect in getting her father to do what she wanted. Jack recognised it as one of his own.

"Isn't it time for nursery?" he said gently.

Siân looked at him in contempt. "It's Tuesday Daddy," she said in a tone of voice which told him, in no uncertain terms, that he should know better.

Jack held his hand up in defeat and resigned himself to not catching up on his sleep. "OK, bugs it is. Let me get that out of the box for you."

Siân bobbed impatiently at his side while he struggled with the packaging. He could put a Weevil down without a second thought, he grimaced, but faced with packaging on children's toys and he was as useless as any other parent. After several minutes he had finally freed the microscope which, although miniature in size, looked suspiciously well made and functional for a supposed children's toy. Switching the light on and looking down the eyepiece his suspicions were confirmed. If that was twenty-times magnification he was a Dutchman. The Doctor had had his hands on this, and one of those hands had definitely had a sonic screwdriver in it.

"Come on then," he said with mock reluctance. "Let's get soil."

Siân raced out of the door towards the kitchen and back door, and Jack followed with a yawn. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Later that night as Jack came into the bedroom he found Donna sat, propped up against the pillows, her hair caught up in the student like topknot she liked to wear. Beside her on the bed were a pile of exercise books. She was frowning as she made occasional marks on each book in turn. Hearing him come in she looked up and smiled,

"I'm amazed you lasted this long. I thought you were going to fall asleep at the table tonight."

Jack yawned widely as he started to unbutton his shirt, "Who thought a teaspoon of dirt could hold so much."

"She certainly loves that microscope. I thought she was going to demand to take it to bed with her, but in the end she decided she couldn't abandon 'Monkey'."

Jack chuckled. " I find it quite comforting that in some things she's just like any other three year old. Sometimes she looks at me as if I have an IQ of 20. And my IQ is up there I'll have you know."

Donna looked at him in sympathy, "You're lucky. Sometimes I think she compares me unfavourably to an amoeba.

Donna looked at Jack as he took off his shirt his back to her, admiring his smooth back and well defined muscles. With a sigh she looked down at herself, she was in good shape, she looked after herself, but she could see it. Age creeping up on her, the laughter lines which seemed to deepen with every passing month, her skin which had lost that radiance it had had when she was young, the grey hairs which were now appearing with alarming regularity. Soon she would have to consider if she would need to colour her hair. She wasn't old, she was just...becoming middle aged. She looked enviously at Jack. He was older than her, by three years according to his birth certificate, but he didn't seem to have aged a day since they had met. No grey hairs, no wrinkles or sagging skin. He was still the Adonis she'd fallen in love with. She wondered, with a vague sense of unease, what Jack thought when he looked at her. Was he aware of the changes?

"What's the matter?"

Donna started to find Jack looking at her in amusement.

"Nothing," Donna said quickly, "Admiring your naked body."

Jack smirked and took a body-builder's pose.

"Eeew," Donna wrinkled her nose. "Never been keen on all that oiled musculature. Looks all wrong."

Jack's face fell and he allowed the pose to relax self-consciously.

"You are still so easy to wind up Jack Harkness," Donna giggled, reminding Jack of Siân sleeping not ten metres away.

"I'll get you for that," Jack promised with a wicked grin, leaping onto the bed and sending the exercise books flying.

"Jack!" Donna yelp scandalised, although he noticed that she quickly gathered up the books and put them on the floor out of harm's way.

Jack scooted under the covers and pulled Donna to him, nuzzling her neck along her hairline. She shivered

"I love this topknot thing," he murmured as he pressed soft kisses onto her exposed sensitised skin, then he lifted one hand and released her hair so it fell down over his head like a curtain. Donna shuddered as Jack continued he exploration of her neck under the hair. Finally he pulled his head back and started to nuzzle the front of her neck under her chin.

"Jack," Donna moaned.

"Sush! Busy," he said into her neck, his lips tickling her skin. Then he pulled her down from the pillow so she was lying beside him.

"Siân's obsession with looking at things in more detail gave me an idea," he said slowly, his words punctuated with kisses. "I thought I might spend the evening looking at you in more detail."

"I thought you were tired," Donna managed to splutter as Jack proceeded to turn his not inconsiderable attentions to her collar bone.

"Curiously not," he said softly raising his head to look at her, his blue eyes vivid and dancing with mischief. He allowed his fingers to trail down her stomach where Donna knew the scar of her operation was still visible. Unconsciously she tensed. Jack felt it and sighed inwardly. Ever since Siân's birth, Donna had been self-concious about the scar on her stomach, at first forbidding Jack to touch it, or even look at it, saying that it was ugly. It had all of Jack's considerable talents to persuade her that to him the scar was beautiful, a sign of what she had been prepared to sacrifice for him. But even now it was if, every time he touched it, she was having to face a fresh hurdle. He understood, but he wished it wasn't so.

"Donna," he said softly, "Relax." He followed the words with a long deep kiss, claiming her mouth, his tongue insistent between her lips until he felt her muscles relax and she let out a smothered moan against his lips. Donna wrapped her arms around him, anchoring him to her. Jack chuckled against her lips.

"Patience woman," he muttered, breaking the kiss and allowing his lips to follow the path his fingers had taken. With the small part of her brain that was still functioning, Donna wondered idly whether all couples approaching their fifth anniversary felt like this, and whether the wicked things Jack was doing with his tongue were actually legal.

* * *

Much, much later as Jack lay dozing, his head on Donna's stomach, Donna stoked his hair and asked, wistfully,

"Do you ever get grey hairs Jack?"

Jack was instantly fully awake, his stomach churning. "Of course," he assured her. "You know how vain I am, I pluck them out before anyone can see them." He tried to keep his voice deliberately light.

Donna snorted, "If I did that I'd be bald in three months."

"Rubbish." Jack scoffed. "You look exactly the same as when I met you." As soon as he said it, he knew he'd made a mistake. Donna had changed, motherhood, time, teaching, they had all left their mark on her face but this did not detract from her beauty. It had only enhanced it, her face full of life and character and above all confidence.

"You're full of crap, Jack Harkness," she replied without rancour. "I'm getting old and wrinkly. Before you know it my boobs will be round my ankles. Then what will you do."

"Spend a lot more time on them," he said flippantly casting a suggestive leer up at her.

Donna laughed, "No, but honestly Jack. You haven't aged a day since I met you. There might be an odd grey hair but I've never seen one, and I haven't found one wrinkle – and believe me I've looked. How do you do that?"

Jack's stomach lurched again, hollowly remembering Gwen's warning as he replied, "Good genes."

"Yeah, well I wish I had them," Donna quipped running her fingertips over Jack's face.

"I'd say your genes are pretty fantastic," Jack said playfully, willing the sick feeling in his stomach to go away. "You're just fishing for compliments, Mrs Harkness," he continued.

"Absolutely," Donna agreed. "So go on, compliment me." She wriggled her bottom suggestively.

"As you wish," he replied turning his head and flicking his tongue into her bellybutton. "Fabulous bellybutton," he murmured, "Superb stomach, flat but with a hint of softness. Shall I go on?"

All Donna could do was nod.

* * *

Jack watched as dawn lightened the sky outside the curtains, listening to Donna's slow even breathing beside him. He hadn't slept. His mind had churned, over and over, relieving the conversation. It had been a joke, just foreplay. He knew that. But how long would it be before those light-hearted observations became genuine curiosity. How long before his immortality became the trigger that would open the dam in Donna's mind, taking her from him...and Siân. Something that couldn't be allowed to happen. How long did he have before he had to leave them behind, for her own good. Because one thing was obvious after tonight. He was living on borrowed time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Authors Note: Big hugs to everyone reading and reviewing. Dark times are ahead... A tissue warning has been issued! Unfortunately my postings have now pretty much caught up with my writing so there may be a bit of lag between chapters from now on. The next one should be early next week but as it's my daughter's birthday party on Sunday it's a bit in the lap of the Gods...;0)**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to all those Whovians who are giddy with excitement at the thought of new New Who this weekend and to all those in foreign climes who will have to wait a little longer!**

* * *

_Chapter XVII_

Jack knew something was brewing when he pulled up outside the Hub late one Monday morning to find his parking space occupied by a familiar blue police box. More telling still, the Doctor was leaning against the closed doors, ankles crossed, hands in pockets, whistling in a deliberately nonchalant fashion. Everything, from his shock of untidy brown hair, to his converse-clad tapping foot signalled trouble.

With a sigh Jack pulled into the free parking spot next to his assigned slot and stabbed at the button to lower the window.

"You're parked in my spot," Jack called out, pointing accusingly at the TARDIS.

"Am I?" the Doctor replied innocently. "You'll have to talk to her about that. Nothing to do with me!" He patted the side of the TARDIS affectionately to emphasise the point.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. What are you doing here, Doctor?"

"Social call," he replied cheerily, although Jack noticed that he avoided making eye contact. Not that he needed that to tell him the Doctor was up to something, his mere presence was enough.

"Bollocks," he said bluntly. "You don't make social calls and you don't do domestic. Your words, Doctor. I haven't seen hide-nor-hair of you for two years and you suddenly decide to visit? No way. There has to be a reason you're here now." Jack wound the window back up and got out of the SUV. He slammed the door behind him then leant back against it, unconsciously mimicking the Doctor's pose. The Doctor fidgeted uncomfortably trying to avoid having to answer the question held in Jack's penetrating gaze.

"How's Donna and Siân?" he asked, deliberately evading the question.

Jack refused to be deflected, not that the Doctor had really felt he could be.

"They're fine. But you already know that. I'm sure Wilf has been keeping you up to date." Jack felt immense satisfaction as the Doctor looked taken aback. "You honestly thought I didn't know that Wilf has been reporting back to you, about what we've been getting up to, since Siân was born. I've known from the beginning. He told me. Actually he asked me if I minded."

"Wilfred Mott has a big mouth," the Doctor replied a trifle sulkily. "It's the last time I tell him anything."

Jack almost laughed out loud. Sometimes the Doctor behaved more like a petulant child than a nine hundred year old Lord of Space and Time. It was quite endearing really.

"Oh, put your bottom lip away. Pouting doesn't suit you. Anyway, however much Wilf admires you and wants to help you, his first loyalty is always to Donna and Siân, and now me apparently. And you wouldn't want it any other way." Jack scolded him affectionately.

In reply the Doctor merely grinned.

"So, come on Doctor why are you here?" Jack pushed.

The Doctor lowered his eyes to the floor as his grin faded.

"We need to talk," he said finally, his voice flat.

"What about?"

Jack felt his stomach plummet as he waited for the Doctor to reply. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be something he wanted to hear.

"Not here. Chips. I need chips. This will be much easier with chips." The Doctor cast an eager look at Jack.

"Chips?" Jack repeated, confused.

"Isn't that what I just said. Chips. It's Rose's fault. She loved chips. End of the world – Chips. Krillitane invasion – Chips. Every time I think about her I get the urge for chips. With salt...and vinegar. Lots of vinegar." Jack could see that the Doctor's maniacal ramblings were, this time at least, due to pure nervousness. He felt a sudden stab of pity as he recollected that whilst he was now happy with a family, the Doctor was, and probably would always be, alone.

"So you eat a lot of chips then," he quipped to cover the awkward moment.

"Let's just say it's a good thing this job involves a lot or running," the Doctor shot back, patting his flat stomach.

"Alright then Doctor. Chips it is. There is a café in town that does good ones and it's far enough away from the Hub we won't be disturbed by a wandering Torchwood operative in search of coffee. But then we talk. OK?"

Without waiting for a reply Jack set off at a brisk walk up towards the centre of Cardiff. The Doctor stared at his retreating back for a few seconds before following him at a run.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the pair were sat in a slightly shabby café in the centre of town. Jack had chosen a table out of sight of the window and before sitting down had ordered two teas and two plates of chips. They sat opposite each other nursing the hot mugs of tea, the Doctor looking around the café with interest, down at the table, at the menu. Anything that meant he didn't have to look at Jack. Looking carefully at the man sat opposite, Jack could see a muscle working in his cheek, the nervous tick betraying his unease.

"Talk," Jack said his voice sharp.

The Doctor sighed. "I'm sorry Jack. It's time."

"Time for what?" Jack said stonily. In his heart he knew what was coming but he didn't want to hear it. Now now, and especially not from the man before him.

"You know, Jack. I don't need to tell you. You've felt this coming for a long time" the Doctor said sadly.

"Why now. What's changed?"

"Nothing, and that's the problem. You aren't ageing."

"Donna hasn't said anything. She thinks I've just got good genes. I still have time." Jack could hear himself trying to convince the Doctor, just as he was trying to convince himself.

"Maybe Donna hasn't said anything, but Siân has. Wilf overheard Siân ask Donna why her Daddy didn't grow old like other daddies." The Doctor watched as the colour drained from Jack's face.

"What did she say? Donna I mean."

"She laughed. She said that you were growing old just like everybody else, but that you were lucky and didn't look it."

"Then it's alright. It didn't trigger anything," Jack protested. "There isn't a problem."

The Doctor looked sympathetically at Jack's tense, pleading features.

"This time. But next time Donna might not be so lucky. Siân is a bright girl..."

Jack let out a short bitter laugh.

"Smart! That's just a bit of an understatement isn't it. She's six years old and she's already studying the complete GCSE syllabus. English, Maths, Science, French, German, History, Geography, the lot. Her appetite to learn is voracious. She spends every evening staring down that souped up microscope you sent her. She wants to be scientist. For her birthday she asked if we could turn her bedroom into a lab!" Jack saw a look of smug pride on the Doctor's face. The same fatherly pride which shone from his face when he spoke about his daughter. He felt an immediate surge of jealousy. "The only person I've ever met with an intellect like hers is you." Jack let his anger flare. "Is that the big secret? Something screwed up happened between you and Donna, Siân is your daughter and to top if off is part Time Lord to boot..."

"No!" the Doctor protested loudly, drawing stares from the other people in the café. He lowered his voice to a fierce whisper. "She's your daughter, yours and Donna's. I promise you, Jack."

"And the Time Lord part...?" Jack pushed, his voice stony.

"She has got a Time Lord intellect," the Doctor admitted. Jack opened his mouth to speak but the Doctor waved him quiet. "I knew it was possible, but I didn't know for definite until you came to see me when Siân started to manifest her...talents." He paused, waiting to see if Jack would interrupt but he remained silent, his eyes hostile. "It turns out that when Donna initiated the human-Time Lord meta-crisis some of my DNA recombined with Donna's. It had no effect because it wasn't expressed. The cell machinery didn't recognise it. It's just sat there dormant in every cell. Useless. And it would have stayed that way if it wasn't for one thing. Residual time vortex energy."

"From me?" Jack interrupted finally, his eyes now shining.

"From you," the Doctor agreed with a swift smile. "The residual time vortex energy which is the key to your immortality and is trapped in your DNA, activated Donna's Time Lord DNA when it recombined to produce Siân. Voilà. Time Lord intellect."

"But she's human?" Jack asked, his voice almost a plea.

"Oh yes. One hundred percent human. Just a human who can use about sixty percent more of her brain than the rest of the planet. Siân is very special. Extraordinary really. You can't imagine how important she is."

"I know how important she is to me," Jack retorted, with an angry glare.

The Doctor had the grace to look ashamed. "Of course! I didn't mean..." he began.

"Save it." Jack cut him off. "I take it that Siân is important to maintaining the time lines in some way. That's the reason for seven years of manipulating our lives. To make sure Siân was born, right?" Jack's voice was icy. The Doctor shivered. He'd never seen Jack so angry, and he was about to make it worse.

"Jack. It wasn't like that. I'll admit I had an ulterior motive in getting you and Donna together but you have to understand..."

"No I don't Doctor. I have a wife and daughter I love, I'm not leaving them now. I have more time."

"No, you don't. You have to leave them. And do it now. Any longer and you'll be putting Donna in serious danger." The Doctor's voice hardened.

"You don't know that," Jack argued.

"Yes I do. I've seen it. She'll remember. And then she'll burn Jack. And there's more, much more I can't tell you now. But please understand I wouldn't say this unless it was absolutely necessary. You have to die Jack. Donna has to see you die, or she will die in your place." For the first time that day the Doctor looked straight into Jack's eyes. And Jack could see the awful truth blazing from their dark depths.

"I don't think I can," Jack whispered, so low the Doctor had to strain to hear him.

"If you love her Jack, you have to do this. For her own good. But in the end it's your choice," the Doctor said softly, putting his hand gently on Jack's arm.

"But I'll have to leave Siân. How can I leave my daughter? I swore after Alice I'd always be there for her." Jack's voice broke.

"Trust me Jack. She'll be fine. And some day soon..." he trailed off, unwilling to reveal anything more. Jack had a choice to make and he had to make it for the right reasons. And if Jack couldn't make it then he would have to make it for him. It was just too important to leave to fate. But if he intervened in this Jack would never, never forgive him and he would lose his friend. And Jack's friendship was so very important. His life quite literally depended on it. "You just have to trust me, Jack. Trust everything will be as it should be eventually."

At that instant a waitress appeared and plonked two plates of chips on the table in front of them. Jack stared at them and pushed his plate away from him. The Doctor picked up a chip from the plate in front of him and bit down on it, wrinkling his nose. Immediately he picked up the salt shaker and bottle of vinegar, one in each hand. After liberally dusting the plate with salt and a thorough drenching of vinegar he banged the condiments back on the table and tried a chip, smacking his lips in satisfaction. He became aware that Jack was looking at him with an expression of disgust.

"You come here, destroy my life, and now you're eating chips. God. You're a piece of work, Doctor. I'll give you that." Jack shook his head in disbelief. "You say it's my choice but I don't have one really do I?"

"No," the Doctor said brutally honest.

"Do you know what Doctor? You're a monster. In the true sense of the word. Cruel, heartless, manipulative. For the first time I'm glad that Rose isn't here. To see what you've become."

The Doctor put down the chip he was holding and pushed the plate away. He met Jack's disgusted gaze, his own eyes bleak. He took a deep breath and whispered,

"So am I."

* * *

When Jack entered the Hub twenty minutes later, he ignored the questioning greetings of his colleagues, and wordlessly went straight to his office slamming the door behind him with a satisfying bang which echoed around the Hub causing Gwen to look up startled.

In his office Jack threw himself into his office chair and leaning on the desk rested his head in his hands. He had left the Doctor sat there, in the café. Jack couldn't bear to look at him any longer. The anger was too raw, the feeling of betrayal too deep. And yet there was almost as much anger directed at himself. He had accused the Doctor of manipulating him and Donna, but the truth was that he at least had known, and been complicit in that manipulation. He'd allowed his life to be directed by the Doctor and it didn't matter that the Doctor had taken advantage of him at his most vulnerable. He had known and he could have stopped it at any time, just walked away. But he hadn't, because he hadn't wanted to. He'd wanted that life with Donna, a window of happiness the Doctor had called it, a little piece of normality to carry with him through the years to come. And now it was ending. Just as he knew it would. He'd been warned. Gwen had warned him back in the beginning that this day would come. The Doctor was right; he didn't have a choice.

A tentative knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Despite his despair his mouth twisted in a crooked smile. It had to be Gwen. A slammed door meant a troubled Jack, and that was like waving a red rag to a bull, at least for Gwen. Cue mothering mode.

"Come in," he said, his voice hoarse.

Gwen pushed the door open and slipped inside, then seeing Jack's expression she closed the door carefully and walked across the office sitting down in the chair opposite.

"What's the matter Jack. We expected you over an hour ago. I saw the SUV... and the TARDIS. Why is the Doctor here?" Gwen's voice was kind. Jack recognised it as her 'worried but trying to be strong in the face of impending disaster' tone. She'd used it a lot in the years Jack had known her; especially on him.

"Do you remember, when I married Donna, you warned me that one day I'd have to think about my immortality?" Gwen nodded, her face growing grave as she realised where the conversation was heading. "Well today is that day. The Doctor came to..." Jack paused, his face twisting with bitterness, "...remind me of my responsibilities."

"Oh God Jack. I'm so very sorry. I wish I could say he was wrong..." Gwen said helplessly.

Jack reached across the table and grabbed her hands, "I know I don't have a choice. I have to leave her, and soon,"

"What are you going to do? You can't just leave. Donna will never believe it, you've been so happy." Gwen could see that every word was a further knife blade to Jack's heart, but it had to be said.

"I'm going to do what I do best. Die." Gwen stared at him open-mouthed. For some insane reason this had not occurred to her. "But, she'll be devastated..." she began.

Jack looked at her incredulously. "And if I just up sticks, she'll be fine?" he scoffed. "If I leave, even if I say it's me, she'll always think she did something wrong. That's just the way she is. And she'll hate me; I can't live with that. No. If I die then there will never be any doubt that she was loved and it leaves her free..." He paused for a long moment and closed his eyes so he didn't have to look into Gwen's pitying ones. "So she can find someone else. I don't want her to spend the rest of her life alone."

Gwen nodded slowly as she saw the truth in Jack's words.

"But what about Siân?" she asked. She watched as a spasm of pain crossed Jack's face and his eyes flickered open, filled with despair.

"She'll be with Donna. She'll be fine...eventually. Maybe she'll forget me. She's only six. I don't know. I don't have a choice. If I stay Donna will die and Siân will be without a mother. I can't let that happen. The Doctor says it will all be right in the end. I have to trust that."

"She won't forget you. Donna will make sure of that. Besides, she's so proud of her Daddy. Every time I see her...Oh God, does this mean I won't be able to see them either. They're family now, Jack." Gwen's face crumpled at the enormity of the consequences before them.

"No. Of course you can still see them. In fact I'm going to insist on it. How else am I going to know what they're doing..." Tears began to roll down Jack's cheeks as the truth finally hit home. From the moment he had spotted the TARDIS parked outside, his life with Donna and Siân was over.

Gwen quickly moved round the table pulling Jack into a comforting hug, stroking his hair as he wept into her shoulder, allowing her own tears to fall unchecked.

After a long time, when the tears had ceased and Jack's breathing had eased, he pulled away to see Gwen's tear stained face looking at him with such grief he almost had to look away.

"I need a car. Untraceable. And a driver. A good one. An import from outside the UK. Someone from UNIT. Martha should be able to find someone." His voice was wooden, but brisk and professional. The leader of Torchwood not a man whose world was collapsing around his ears.

"Car. Driver. Got it." Gwen forced her voice to sound work-like. As if she were preparing to equip the team for a Weevil hunt. Anything to fool herself that this was an ordinary mission, that she wasn't organising the very public death of Captain Jack Harkness.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: Thank you to all my faithful readers and reviewers. I'm sorry I was a bit tardy replying to you all - the spirit was willing but the flesh was utterly knackered dealing with 13 four year olds descending on my house. Anyway new chapter, very dark, warnings of adult themes of death apply. And speaking of dark - Waters of Mars OMG!!!**

* * *

_Chapter XVIII_

That night Jack remained at the Hub. Donna wasn't expecting him home until the following evening and if he pitched up early it would have only aroused her suspicions that something was wrong. Her instincts tended to be infallible when it came to trouble. Besides he seriously doubted he would have been able to look her in the eye, or kiss her goodnight without breaking down. He needed time, to steel himself for what he now accepted he had to do, before he could face them again. Normally he would phone every night that he was away from home; to say goodnight to Donna, wish Siân sweet dreams, and tell them how much he loved them both. Sometimes, when Rift activity got in the way, he wasn't able to ring. Each time, he felt an aching guilt that he wasn't able to keep his promise to himself, even though he knew it was unavoidable. Tonight though, was the first evening he had deliberately chosen not to ring, unable to face hearing their voices on the other end of the line. It felt like a betrayal.

Now the others had left, their eyes avoiding his, voices hushed, as if they were scared of what he might say or do if one of them drew his attention. Gwen had wanted to stay, citing that he shouldn't be alone. But her motherly concern had felt cloying and he had ordered her home, his voice sharp. He'd tried to ignore the wounded look in her dark eyes, but it struck deep adding another layer to his burden of guilt. Finally alone he had wandered around the Hub. His office, full of photos, only serving to increase his anguish. He paced up and down the metal gantry outside, his footsteps ringing loud in the silence, trying to drown out the voices screaming in his head. Finally, exhausted, he made his way down to the morgue. Standing in front of the bank of drawers, his eyes fixed on a single drawer in particular. For the past seven years he'd avoided this room. The sight of Ianto's lifeless face vanishing as he had closed the drawer had been etched on his consciousness. A memory too painful to recall. Visiting the room, reminding himself that 'he' was lying only inches away, cold and unreachable, had filled him with horror. Now this room seemed to be the only place he could bear to be. It was fitting; to be surrounded by the dead, the people he'd failed. Visible reminders of his abiding weakness; his inability to remain detached. He wished he could join them here, when this task was complete. Join the ranks of the dead. Not remember what he had left behind. Leaning against the bank of drawers he allowed his legs to buckle. He slid down the wall until he sat on the cold damp floor, knees hunched up in front of him, his head resting on Ianto's drawer.

"What am I going to do Yan?" he said out loud to the empty room, his words echoing eerily in the cavernous space. "First you, now them. I'm going to be alone again. Why do I have to lose everyone? It isn't fair, Yan. It isn't fucking fair!" Jack's voice grew louder as he spoke, the final word shouted to the emptiness. Silence.

There were no tears now, there was nothing left. Just a dead hollowness in his chest. Jack looked down at the object in his hands; his Webley revolver. Once always at his side, for the last six years it had been locked away in his office, only retrieved when Torchwood business demanded it. Now he turned it over and over, acknowledging its comforting weight in his hands. He needed the pain to go away. Oblivion. Just for a little while. In a sudden decisive movement he raised it to his temple, cocked the hammer and pulled the trigger.

* * *

Jack sat bolt upright taking a deep shuddering breath, the usual pain of resurrection lancing through his body. He became aware of gentle hands holding his arms, steadying him.

"Easy, Cariad," a familiar, beloved voice whispered in his ear. "I've got you." Frantically Jack twisted in the arms that held him until Ianto's smiling face came into view.

"Ianto? Oh God, Yan!" With a groan he pulled Ianto down until their lips met and he kissed him fiercely, convincing himself that this was no mirage. Ianto responded with fervour, opening his mouth to let Jack's tongue battle with his own. Finally, panting for breath, they drew apart, their arms still firmly entwined as if they were afraid to let go. For a full minute they looked at each other in silence, just drinking in the sight of each other.

"How can this be?" Jack said finally, his voice wondering, his fingertips tracing the lines of Ianto's face. "You're dead."

"People keep telling me that," Ianto said with a wry smile, catching Jack's fingers and kissing them. "And yet here I am. Waiting."

"For me?" Jack asked softly, his blue eyes intently gazing into Ianto's.

"Who else?" Ianto affirmed. "I just didn't think you'd be here so soon. I thought you could live forever. I figured I'd be here a few millennia more yet. It must have been a pretty impressive death to finally finish you off..."

"I killed myself. Shot to the head," Jack said frowning. "Doesn't seem that impressive."

"What?" Ianto's expression filled with horror. "Jesus Jack. How could you? Why would you?" For some reason the idea that the indomitable Jack Harkness could be driven to suicide was unthinkable. More than that, it was abhorrent.

"Don't judge me, Ianto" Jack shot back, his voice pained. "How can I expect you to understand. I've lived so long. Seen so much. Sometimes the pain is too much to bear. For a little while I get to forget it all. Blissful oblivion. It's not the first time I've taken my own life..." Jack could hear his voice, cold and detached, deliberately hurtful. This was all wrong. He had imagined a million times what he would do and say if he ever got a second chance with Ianto, and this definitely was not it. Apart from the kiss, he corrected, that had definitely been in there. But this detachment, this rational discussion of his suicide, it was wrong.

"I'm not judging you. I just...I....I didn't know..." Ianto stammered, wounded.

Jack shrugged. "There is no reason you should. It's not something I'm particularly proud of..."

"How many times?" For some reason Ianto needed to know. It was important.

"Eight...no, nine if you include this time." Jack answered, again aware of that horrible feeling of detachment, as if he were telling a stranger, not Ianto. "The first four times were in the beginning, when I was testing the limits of the...gift. When I didn't care if I lived or not. Once was in 1965, after the 456 came the first time. I couldn't get the faces of those twelve children out of my head. I could imagine them screaming every time I closed my eyes. The other three were in the six months after you and Steven died..."

"Steven died?" Ianto interrupted, his face horrified. "Oh God Jack, I'm so sorry. Your grandson. Did the 456 take him?"

"No," Jack said shortly, his voice hard. "I sacrificed him. I used him to defeat the 456. I killed him."

Ianto looked at Jack, open-mouthed in shock.

"But...you wouldn't," he managed, his voice trembling.

"I did. There was no time. It had to be a child. He was the only one. It was a rational decision." Jack averted his face, unwilling to see the censure in Ianto's eyes.

To his surprise he felt a soft kiss on his forehead.

"What was that for?" he muttered. "You must despise me."

"No, Cariad. I love you. You made a decision no one else could make. And you pay for it every single day. You took that burden on yourself to save someone else from carrying it. How can I despise that. It's the bravest thing I've ever known."

"It wasn't brave Ianto. I'd lost you. I'd killed you as sure as if I'd plunged a knife in your heart. Nothing mattered any more. Steven, Alice, the Earth. Nothing."

"So why did you do it? Save the children of Earth. If what you are saying is true, why didn't you just run?"

"Rhiannon. I couldn't let Mica and David be taken. I sent Gwen to protect them but I knew it was only a matter of time before they were taken too. I had to save your family, Yan. I owed them. I owed you."

"Oh, Jack." Ianto pulled Jack towards him his eyes filled with tears, trying to embrace him but Jack struggled against his arms. At his resistance Ianto's face clouded.

"Jack?" he murmured, concerned.

"No!" Jack's voice was vehement as he leapt to his feet, for the first time becoming aware of his surroundings. He appeared to be in Ianto's flat, a place he had visited only a handful of times for stolen moments of passion in a real bed. Everything was as he remembered, right down to the obsessively tidy coffee table; computer magazines neatly stacked, corners squared; and two coasters, welsh slate, symmetrically placed either side.

"This isn't real. You're not real. Look at this," he continued waving his arms around. "All the places I could imagine us to be and I pick here. I could have imagined us together anywhere in the Universe and I choose a poky flat in Cardiff. What does that say about me? About us?"

"It says we were happy here Jack!" Ianto countered hotly as he got to his feet so he could look at Jack face-to-face. "When we were here there was just us. No Torchwood, no Rift, no bloody Doctor. Just you and me together. You're so damn arrogant Jack. Don't you understand. This isn't the place you chose. This is where I chose to wait. All this bloody time and I waited for you. And now you're here and we're like fucking strangers. We should be having the best reunion shag ever witnessed..." He trailed off.

Jack just gaped at him, taken aback by Ianto's vehemence, his strange sense of detachment finally shattered by Ianto's anger. He desperately wanted to take Ianto in his arms, show him how much he loved him and had missed him. But he couldn't. Even if this was just the dream he knew it to be, he couldn't be unfaithful to Donna, not now.

"Yan I..." he began tentatively reaching out to touch Ianto's arm not knowing how to explain, knowing it would only hurt him all the more.

Ianto took a step back, out of reach. "I missed you so much, Cariad. But you're right. This isn't real is it? You aren't here to stay. If you were it wouldn't be like this. It would be wonderful. You killed yourself today, and it wasn't to come here to me. It was to escape something back there. Something so awful you couldn't face it. What was it Jack? Is this about Donna?"

Jack looked at Ianto in surprise for a split second then gave a small anguished smile.

"Of course," he muttered under his breath, "My imagination, you know what I know." Eyes trained on the floor he missed the sudden involuntary slump of Ianto's shoulders.

"I have to leave her," he said simply, "before she remembers about the Doctor. Soon."

"I'm sorry Jack. I know you love her." Ianto said gently.

"Yeah I do. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear this. Please understand. After you died I honestly thought I'd never feel anything for anyone again. But she was...well different. I told her about you and she loved me anyway."

"You told her we were married," Ianto commented, his voice catching on the last word as he looked down to the rings on Jack's finger. His and Donna's.

"We should have been," Jack said fiercely. "When I read your letter I realised what a bloody fool I'd been, not telling you."

"Telling me what?" Ianto pushed, willing Jack to speak the words he'd waited so long to hear.

Jack finally looked up into his eyes, his own eyes blazing fire.

"That I love you, that I wanted to marry you. That I miss you every day."

Ianto took a step forward, his eyes shining, his face joyful, so that he could grasp Jack's hand.

"I love you Jack. And what you feel for Donna, believe me I understand. You needed her and I'm grateful you had someone who loves you as much as I do. You have to give her everything she deserves in the time you have left together. I will wait as long as it takes. I promise you." With that he leaned forward to kiss Jack on the lips. Softly, not a kiss of passion, but of promise.

Jack sighed. Once again Ianto was telling him what he needed to hear. Every ounce of his soul wished that this was not just his subconscious, that Ianto was here talking to him, promising him the world. But at least he could take comfort in the knowledge that, just as Ianto had promised in that dream long ago, it seemed he would always be in his heart when he needed him most.

"If it were just leaving Donna I think I could handle it," he said after a moment. For some reason he had to tell Ianto the whole truth, even though he knew he already knew everything there was to know. "I hate it, but if I stay the Doctor says eventually her memories will return and they'll destroy her. But how can I leave Siân?"

For a brief moment Jack thought he saw a look of puzzlement on Ianto's face, but almost immediately his expression returned to his gentle smile.

"I wish I could tell you, Cariad. To leave your daughter, especially after Alice. Nothing I could say would make it any easier. But it's not as if you are leaving because you have any choice. If there was anyway you could stay, you would, I know that. At least you'll be able to keep her safe, watch over them both, even if it's from a distance, knowing they both love you even though you're gone."

Jack nodded unable to speak. Seeing his distress Ianto stepped closer still pulling Jack into a comforting hug. Jack wrapped his arms around him clinging on for dear life as great wrenching sobs suddenly tore from him, all his grief flooding out. And Ianto understood. Jack wasn't just crying for Donna, or Siân, or even him; he was grieving for his entire existence. Every decision he'd made, every life he'd lived, lost or taken. Everything.

* * *

Suddenly there was pain, splitting his head in two. Panicked Jack lifted his head to look at Ianto. His vision swam and began to blur at the edges. He opened his mouth to speak but no words emerged. Beneath his hands Ianto's body began to dissipate like early morning mist. His legs buckled beneath him and he found himself on the floor as the features of the flat began to dissolve into an oily smear. Darkness began to creep in as he frantically tried to focus on Ianto's face which he could see was streaked with tears. As his vision faded to black and the world went silent he thought he could hear Ianto's voice screaming his name over and over and a final broken whispering murmur.

"I'm waiting Cariad. I love you."

* * *

Jack took a deep shuddering breath and hauled himself upright. There were no comforting arms, no beloved voice whispering in his ear. Beneath him was cold damp concrete, behind him the icy touch of the cryogenic drawers. His Webley revolver lay on the ground beside him, his blue shirt was stained with blood, still sticky to the touch. His head was agony, the familiar resurrection headache pounding at his temples, telling him that he was alive. Again. With a groan he got to his feet, pushing himself up against the wall of drawers, his hand briefly resting on the one containing Ianto, splattered with his own blood. As he took his hand away he looked at the smears of blood on his fingertips. He could remember his dream, every painful, distressing, glorious minute. For just a few moments he had had Ianto in his arms, told him face to face how he really felt. Seen the look of joy transform Ianto's face, making his heart sing. He supposed he should have felt guilty, the love he still had for Ianto should feel like a betrayal of what he felt for Donna, but somehow it didn't. It wasn't going to make what he had to do any easier. The thought of it still made his heart contract in pain. But Ianto's faith in him, his forgiveness, would give him the strength. It had to.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: Firstly I just want to thank everyone who has reviewed, story alerted or made Purpose a favourite story. You guys rock. This chapter is a bit of a monster both in length and in difficulty to write. I hated doing what I had to do in this chapter to Donna and Jack but it has to happen for the remainder of the story to happen...**

* * *

_Chapter XIX_

Gwen was first into the Hub the following morning. A hurried ring round her colleagues the previous evening had established that Gwen should check out the lay of the land before anyone else came in. As it turned out, Jack was long gone before Gwen's car pulled into her parking space. Inside the Hub she raced to the computer to check the recordings for the Hub's security cameras. As she expected she was greeted by nothing more than four hours of static. Whatever Jack had done during that long, lonely night he didn't want anyone to know. With a sigh she crossed the Hub to her desk. As she approached she saw a white envelope propped up against her monitor. Impatiently she tore open the envelope and drew out the paper inside.

_Gwen,_

_I can't be here. I need to spend some time with Donna and Siân while I still can. I need you to arrange this death for me. I don't want to know exactly when it will be, or where. Just give me two weeks. The only thing I ask is that Siân isn't there when it happens and I get chance to say goodbye to Donna._

_I know it isn't fair to ask this of you. I know you'll tear yourself up with guilt, but I don't think I can do this alone. You are the only person I trust to do this._

_Jack._

Gwen's knees buckled under her and she sank into her chair with a shuddering breath. How could he ask her to do this? It was as good as murder. She'd done some questionable things in her time with Torchwood, morally questionable if not downright amoral. But each time she had placated her conscience with the thought that it was for the greater good. If she were honest, this act was no different. It was for the greater good. Donna's greater good. But deliberately killing Jack, even though she knew he would come back to life? That was crossing a line that, once stepped over she would never be able to take back. She remembered the guilt and despair on Owen's face when he had shot Jack, not knowing of his immortality. Owen had lost something in his eyes that day which had never come back, even after Jack had returned and forgiven him. A part of his soul. The difference was, she realised, that if she didn't carry out Jack's wishes, he would never forgive her. And losing Jack's trust would be infinitely more painful than losing that fragment of her soul. Like him, she didn't have a choice. Not if she wanted to remain at Jack's side.

She looked up as Martha stepped into the Hub. Hurriedly she replaced the paper in the envelope and stuffed it into her bag. She would shoulder this burden alone.

"He's not here," she called, astounded at how calm her voice sounded. "He's gone home."

Martha didn't reply, merely nodding to acknowledge Gwen's words. It was selfish, but secretly she was glad that she didn't have to look into Jack's anguished eyes.

* * *

Jack drove back to London with the radio blaring out Radio 1, a station he would never normally listen to. The loud thumping music distracting him from his fevered thoughts. It was Tuesday; Donna and Siân would both be at school, and while he was now anxious to see them, eager to grasp every precious remaining moment, he found himself driving to Chiswick. He pulled up outside Donna's mother's drive and got out. He knocked on the door tentatively, unsure of whether he wanted his knock to be answered or not. After a few moments, the door swung open to reveal Sylvia,

"Jack!" she greeted him with a easy smile. "What are you doing here in the middle of the day?"

"Hello Sylvia." Once, soon after the wedding, Jack had tried calling Sylvia 'Mom'. The glacial disapproving look which had descended across Sylvias' features had been enough to convince him never to try it again. "My meeting in Cardiff was cancelled," he lied, forcing a smile on his face. "Since Donna and Siân are both at school I thought I might see if Wilf wanted to go out for a pint."

"He's up on his allotment," Sylvia explained with a grimace. "I don't know why. It's not as if he really grows anything and he can't do any stargazing at this time of day."

Jack gave a genuine smile. He knew exactly why Wilf trekked up to the allotment every day.

"I'll go find him," he said. "Can I leave the car here?" As Sylvia nodded he leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye."

Somewhat surprised Sylvia kissed Jack's cheek in return. "Bye Jack. Take care." She thought she saw Jack's mouth fleetingly twist in bitterness but almost immediately it was replaced by his wide charming smile. "And if you see Dad tell him to get me some spouts on his way home. We're having shepherds pie for tea."

"Sprouts. Shepherd's pie. Got it." With that Jack turned on his heel and started to stride up the street in the direction of the allotments. He was relieved Wilf was out of the house. The conversation he was about to have with him was not one he wanted with a audience.

* * *

"Wilf?" Jack shook the old man's shoulder gently. He had arrived at the allotment to find Wilf, bundled up against the cold in a red wool hat and scarf, asleep in a deckchair, flask by his side. Jack would put money on the flask containing whisky, Wilf's favourite tipple, rather than hot tea.

Wilf stirred, sleepily raising his head to look Jack in the eyes. His face lit up at the sight of Jack but quickly fell when he saw the expression on Jack's face.

"What is it boy? Is it my Donna? Or Siân?" Wilf's voice trembled with fear and Jack immediately felt contrite for worrying him unnecessarily.

"No. They're fine, Wilf. Honestly." He tried to smile reassuringly, but by the continuing look of fear on Wilf's face he knew he wasn't doing a very good job. "It's not Donna, or Siân, or the Doctor..." he said quickly, answering what he knew would be Wilf's next question. "It's me." He saw a momentary flash of relief cross Wilfs' features which was immediately replaced by concern. He knew that Wilf cared for him, and was touched by his concern, but he knew that in Wilf's heart Donna and Siân would always come first.

"You better sit down then," Wilf said practically. "There's another chair in the shed."

Jack fetched the blue and white deckchair and set it down next to Wilf, struggling for at least a minute to assemble it correctly. Looking at the great Jack Harkness battling valiantly with a piece of garden furniture before he sank down into it, Wilf had to smile. He looked so incongruous sat there, coat pooled around his ankles. He handed the flask to Jack, who unscrewing the top poured out a measure of what indeed smelt like whiskey. He knocked it back with a single gulp. Wilf watched him in silence, waiting for him to speak. He sensed Jack needed to do this on his own, without prompting, when and only when he was ready.

After a good two minutes of silence Jack looked at him.

"I've got to leave." He waited, offering no more information. Eventually Wilf spoke.

"For good?"

"Yes." A single word and yet Wilf could hear all the pain he knew Jack must be feeling.

"Why?" For whatever reason Jack had made this decision Wilf knew it wasn't one he would have taken lightly. In the years since Jack had entered Donna's life Wilf had quickly come to see that his original warning had been unnecessary. Jack would never consciously do anything to hurt Donna, or Siân, unless there was no other way. Suddenly he remembered a conversation with the Doctor, long since past, about Siân questioning Jack's lack of ageing. "This is to do with you being immortal," he said quietly.

"The doctor came to see me yesterday," Jack said nodding. "He said that if I didn't leave Donna soon she would start to remember her time with him and that she would, as he put it, burn up. There's no way I can let that happen. So I have to leave before it does. Please believe me if there was any way I could stay I would." Jack's voice was pleading, urging the old man to understand.

Wilf put out a reassuring hand, patting Jack's arm. "I know that Jack. I've known this was coming for some time. Don't worry about Donna and Siân. I'll make sure they're alright."

"The truth is, I'm not just going to leave. That would hurt Donna too much. She would think I wasn't happy or that she'd done something to drive me away. Then she might come looking for me. I'm going to have to die. Very publicly and accidentally so there's no way she can think that me leaving is anything but fate."

Wilf now looked at Jack in shock, "But she'll be devastated. I know how I felt after my Elsie died. I wanted to die myself, there and then..."

"I know," Jack interrupted. "But she'll learn to live with it, just as you have. She'll have Siân and her memories of me will be happy ones, I hope."

"And Siân? Can you really leave her behind without hope that she'll ever see you again?" Wilf already knew the answer to the question, but he had to ask it. Had to hear it from Jack's own lips.

"I don't have a choice. Not if Donna is going to live."

"I'm sorry, Jack," Wilf said finally, his eyes sorrowful. "When are you leaving?" He couldn't bring himself to say the word dying.

"I've got two weeks to make sure everything is in order. After that...sometime soon. It's being arranged. I don't want to know."

"You're a good man, Jack Harkness. God bless you."

Jack didn't speak. He leaned back into his chair closing his eyes and they sat, in silence, as the shadows began to lengthen and the cold autumn sunlight faded.

* * *

As Donna walked up the road towards the house she was somewhat surprised to see Jack's SUV already parked outside. She hadn't been expecting him back for another couple of hours at least. She adjusted the heavy bag of books on her shoulder into a more comfortable position and tugged lightly on Siân's hand. Her daughter had, predictably, taken advantage of the momentary pause in their journey to bend over and study what appeared to be the remains of a dead bird on the pavement.

"Come on, Tink," Donna said, reverting back to the pet name she'd used for Siân since she was a baby. "It looks like Daddy is home early."

Siân looked up from her examination, her eyes lighting up as she spotted the SUV. Suddenly she was the one tugging on Donna's hand.

"Come on Mummy. Hurry up." she scolded her impatiently.

With a chuckle Donna picked up her pace allowing Siân to drag her along the pavement to the front gate. Looking across the small yard which passed for a front garden she was further surprised to see Jack sitting on the front doorstep cross-legged.

"Did you forget your key?" she called as Siân pulled her through the gateway.

"Yep," Jack lied. The truth was, his key was exactly where he had put it yesterday morning, in the glove compartment of the SUV. He'd just wanted to see them come home, see the light in their eyes when they found him there waiting for them. He wasn't disappointed.

Donna detected a note of tension in Jack's tone and the way he seemed to be holding himself very still, despite his apparently nonchalant pose, as if he might shatter if he dared to move. She braced herself for the moment when Siân, full of the kind of exuberance only a six-year old can process, threw herself at her father, breathing an inward sigh of relief as she saw his arms relax to wrap the little girl in a bear hug.

"Did you have a good day at school, sweetheart?" Jack asked giving her a kiss on the nose. Donna noticed he had not released Siân from the hug but was clinging on almost in desperation. There was something wrong; something he was trying hard to hide from them.

Siân wriggled to free herself from the hug, then with a grin that was an exact copy of Jack's she plonked herself heavily on his knee. Jack gave an artificial groan of protest.

"Yes. Miss Claythorne said she wanted to put me in for the exams in the summer."

Jack met Donna's eyes over Siân's head. They had discussed this, the need to balance Siân's ferocious need to learn with their determination to give her as normal a childhood as possible. And so whilst encouraging her to learn subjects at a level far above her peers, they had emphasised the need to play. They had been reluctant to give her the stress of exams so early in life. What they hadn't reckoned on was Sian's impatience to absorb more and more advanced knowledge. Their initial fears that Siân would cease to be their little girl had seemed to be unfounded, her ability to switch between intelligent and intensely motivated student and Bratz-obsessed mischief maker at the drop of a hat being almost eerie. Indeed Jack had discussed with Gwen on a number of occasions how like a certain Time Lord she seemed in that respect. Now of course, he thought bitterly, he knew the reason why. Clearly more than just intelligence had been passed to Siân. However much the Doctor protested, he clearly was, in the biological sense of the word, partially her father, or should that be mother since the DNA came from Donna. Jack didn't care; he just knew that at that moment he resented it. Not Siân, never Siân, but the Doctor's role in her creation.

"What do you want to do, Tink?" Donna asked, abruptly bringing his attention back to the present. She sat down beside Jack on the doorstep glaring at him pointedly until he shuffled along to make room for her by his side and dropping the heavy bag onto the flagstones with a dull thud. Jack put one of his arms around her shoulder drawing her close to his side. One arm around each of his two girls.

Siân appeared to consider the question.

"Well, if I do the exams, Miss Claythorne says she can start teaching me lots of new stuff. I'd like that. Please can I do them?"

Donna looked sideways at Jack who shrugged, telling her he was fine with it if she was. He wasn't going to stand in the way of his daughter's ambitions. Learning made her happy. He wanted her to be happy. It was as simple as that.

"Alright then," Donna said, wagging her finger at Siân, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I'll talk to Miss Claythorne in the morning. But this doesn't mean you can give up gymnastics or dance class. You can't spend all day buried in a book."

Siân gave her mother a scornful look. "Why would I give up dancing Mummy? It's fun. Besides Katie says it's the one thing she can beat me at. I'll just have to keep practising! Can I go to Katie's after tea? She's got a new DVD. High School Musical 2. I promised I'd go and learn the dances with her..."

"If you like sweetheart," Jack replied before Donna could answer, earning him a hug. "Come on let's go in, it's getting cold out here."

"Katie's mum says if you sit on cold stones you'll get piles," Siân commented loudly.

Donna looked scandalised but Jack laughed,

"Katie's mum is a very wise woman," he said clambering to his feet whilst still not relinquishing his hold on Siân.

* * *

Hours later after Siân was long in bed, Jack and Donna sat on the sofa, Donna laid back surrounded by Jack's arms, watching some crappy Sci-Fi program on TV. Donna loved Sci-Fi but Jack normally stalked from the room whenever it came on with a snort of derision of how unrealistic it was. Donna had argued with him about it,

"It's Sci-Fi. Science Fiction. Fiction being the operative word. It's not supposed to be realistic."

"It's complete bollocks!" Jack had retorted. End of argument.

Tonight though, Jack had said not a word, not even when the hero of the piece had done a time reset manoeuvre which even Donna had to admit was a bit of a cop-out. Tonight he had sat silently, occasionally tightening his grip round her as if he were afraid she might move away. Not that she would, these nights when they sat quiet, just the two of them, were some of her favourites. But it was just one more thing that told her something was wrong.

"Jack. What's the matter?" she asked softly.

Jack seemed startled. "Nothing" he said quickly.

"Don't lie to me, sunshine!" Donna twisted round so she could look into Jack's face, see his expression. "It couldn't be more obvious if you were going around with a big sign saying 'I am upset' stapled to your forehead. Talk to me Jack, please."

Jack sighed and tried to school his features into a placid mask.

"Really, it's nothing. I got a weird feeling today, like someone walked over my grave. I just needed to see you both, make sure everything was alright. It's just left me feeling a bit...off. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."

Donna reached up to kiss him gently on the mouth.

"Jack, Siân and I aren't going anywhere."

Jack felt his stomach turn but he forced himself to smile.

"I know."

Donna looked at him for a moment, then pulled herself out of his embrace and got to her feet. Reaching across to the coffee table she grabbed the remote and switched off the TV with a flourish, then turning she held her hand out to Jack.

"Come on," she said with a wicked smile, "I know the best way to prove to you that everything is fine. I'll take you upstairs and have my wicked way with you..."

Jack's face crinkled in what Donna could see was now a genuine smile.

"Done!" He grabbed her hand and she pulled him to his feet, then before she could protest he swung her up into his arms. "But first I'm going to have my wicked way with you!"

* * *

The following fortnight was strangely the happiest two weeks Jack could remember. During the day, when Donna and Siân were at school, he had meetings with the government, ensuring that they would be provided for and that Siân would never be exploited because of her parentage. He lived every day with Donna and Siân as if it were his last, going to the pictures, bowling, chasing Siân around the adventure playground. Every day Jack took every opportunity to make memories with Siân terrified that she would forget him even though rationally he knew that Donna would never let her forget her father. But he wanted her to have real memories of him, of them all as a family; not just some character her mother told her about, dimly remembered with nothing more than slight affection. Reading her stories at bedtime just so they could laugh together; flying kites on the beach; eating apple pie in the diner where Jack had kissed Donna properly for the first time in the knowledge he might lose her. Each memory a protection against his greatest fear - being forgotten.

Donna wondered at it. Seeing Jack's frantic efforts to be the perfect husband and father worried her. He was afraid. She hoped that it was merely the after effects of his strange feeling, certainly it had all started that day, but her intuition told her it was more than that. Whatever it was she wished Jack would talk to her about it. Whenever she asked him, he would merely turn on the thousand kilowatt smile and deny anything was wrong.

* * *

"Jack, we need to talk!" Donna said in a low voice.

Jack looked up from the paper he was reading to catch Donna's warning glance at Siân who was busy trying to finish her cereal whilst reading the back page of the paper Jack was holding. The expression on Donna's face said she was not about to take no for an answer. Jack felt his heart sink. He'd managed to fob Donna off over his strange mood until now, but she could tell something was desperately wrong and he knew she wouldn't rest until she found out what it was.

"What about?" he asked feigning ignorance.

"You know full well. Look Siân's staying at Katie's house tonight, she's having a High School Musical Dance sleepover or something..."

Jack grimaced. He could quite truthfully say that High School Musical was one of Siân's loves he really could do without.

"Why don't we go out for a meal since we've got a night to ourselves?" Donna continued, her expression taking any choice out of the question. "We can go to that Italian on the High Street. I'll be quiet tonight."

"That'll be nice," Jack said trying to sound enthusiastic. "No Tink telling us the principle behind spaghetti twirling."

Siân shot him a dirty look over her spoon which was raised halfway to her mouth. Jack grinned and put his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture.

"Enough," Donna put in, exasperated with the pair of them.

"I'll meet you there after school," Jack suggested. "It's daft you coming all the way back here when it's only five minutes from work." At least he had a day to try and work out a plausible excuse.

"Good idea. I'll get my marking out of the way and meet you there at seven." Donna's face was resolute. It dared him not to turn up. It wasn't an option.

In reply Jack merely nodded and buried his head back into the paper.

* * *

He was late. Ten past seven. Donna would be livid. She would think he was ducking out of the confrontation, scared to face her. The truth was, daft as it seemed, he'd fallen asleep on the bed. He'd spent the day trying to think of just the right thing to say to set Donna's mind at rest, but his mind had started to count up the days since the Doctor's visit, since he'd left instructions for Gwen. And he knew that it was only a matter of time. The next thing he had known it had been ten to seven and he had the TV supplement stuck to the side of his face. Hurrying along the road towards the restaurant he shivered, pulling his coat around him to protect himself from the chill autumn wind. Donna would be really mad. She would be waiting outside for him; she hated going into a restaurant alone. She'd be frozen and mad. It was almost enough to make him turn round. He came round the corner onto the High Street and spotted Donna, huddled in the restaurant doorway, her collar turned up against the cold. He could see her mouth moving and realised she was practising all the things she would say to him when he arrived. At that moment she looked up and saw him, her initial expression of relief being quickly replaced by one of annoyance. Jack waved and hurried across the road to join her.

Jack saw the black car come barrelling around the corner out of the corner of his eye, and knew without doubt what was about to happen. He fixed his eyes on Donna and the pavement opposite and continued to cross the road. He saw the horrified comprehension in Donna's eyes almost at the same moment he felt the car strike him, the bones of his legs snapping under the impact sending him tumbling over the bonnet and roof. As he finally came to rest on the tarmac he could hear Donna frantically shouting his name over and over.

Looking up he saw Donna's face blocking the dark sky, her tears falling on his face. She started to lift his head into her lap but, a voice belonging to someone Jack couldn't see commanded her to stop; to wait for an ambulance. Donna shot a look of such vehemence at the unknown individual that the objection subsided, but Donna released his head anyway. Battling the pain which was strafing through his body Jack struggled to raise his head. If these were his last few moments with Donna he wasn't going to let the actions of some interfering, if well meaning, busybody come between them. As Donna became aware of his movement she once again began to raise his head onto her lap.

"Jack, please Jack. Talk to me. Come on baby. Please. Please!" Donna's voice, low and urgent, pleaded for him to reply. He could feel his face wet with tears and he wasn't sure whether they were hers or his. Jack recognised the familiar feeling of his life force slipping away and he fought against it. He had things he needed to say. Things Donna needed to know. He forced his eyes to open and pulled on all his remaining strength.

"Hey sweetheart!"

On hearing his voice Donna cried out, partially in relief.

"Don't move. There's an ambulance coming. Stay with me baby." He could tell Donna was trying to be strong, for him, but her face was distraught. She stroked his face and as her hand moved away Jack realised that the wetness on his face was blood.

"I don't think that's up to me," he croaked, trying to smile at her.

"Don't!" she said leaning over and kissing him tenderly. "You're going to be alright." But she sobbing now, her words distorted. "Don't you dare die on me Jack Harkness. I won't lose you."

"I'll try to oblige, but just in case I just want to say. I love you, I love Siân and I wanted to stay with you for ever."

"Please Jack," Donna shook her head, trying to deny the words she was hearing.

"No I need to say it. I love you and I want you to be happy. Find someone. Find someone to make you happy after... Just like you made me happy." She didn't want to hear this, he knew that. And at this moment he didn't want to say it. The thought of Donna with someone else made him sick to his stomach. But he didn't want her to suffer alone. After Ianto's death she had saved him. It was only right that someone else be allowed to save her. "Promise me,"

Donna couldn't speak. It was unthinkable, loving someone else. She started to shake her head but Jack reached up with a gasp of pain and grabbed the hand stroking his face.

"Promise me Donna. I don't want you to be alone."

Blindly Donna nodded, leaning over to kiss him again, this time fiercely, her auburn hair obscuring the rest of the world from view.

"Please don't leave me alone," she whispered. "Please Jack, I'm begging you."

But she could feel his body go limp, his breathing slow and she knew in that moment that she was going to lose him, forever. It was time. Time to fulfil the promise she had made.

"Jack!" she said sharply. "Open your eyes. Now, Captain!"

Startled Jack opened his eyes to take one last look at Donna, committing it to memory, wishing that his last sight of her was not filled with so much pain for them both. Donna put her mouth to his ear, her last words to him being for him alone.

"I love you. I will always love you. Siân will always love you. And we'll be alright. I promise. Someone else loves you too; and he's waiting for you, Jack. Tell him I thank him with all my heart for letting me borrow you for a while."

Jack's eyes widened at her words and Donna gave a small sad smile. Then she kissed him once more as his breath slipped away.

Only then did she start to scream.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: Just a quick note to once again thank everyone who is reading this story. I know I say it every time, but every chapter I am just amazed that people still want to read more -big kisses to all-.**

**After the total angst of the last chapter, this should hopefully be a touch lighter - but only a touch. Enjoy.**

**

* * *

**_Chapter XX_

When Jack awoke he was in what appeared to be a hospital morgue. He sat up panting, taking in the other corpses on trolleys around him. Beside him, with a haunted look on her face was Gwen. As he focused on her she spoke.

"You bastard!"

Jack blinked, still disorientated. The pounding in his head, although ferocious, was not nearly as bad as he would have expected from a return to life. From the nasty chemical taste in his mouth he was pretty sure he'd been sedated. But why? He tried to focus on Gwen. What was she talking about? It wasn't as if it were the first time he'd come round in a morgue. Suddenly he remembered, the car, Donna, Donna's final words. Suddenly the need for him to be sedated made devastating sense. He took in a sharp breath.

"Oh God."

"How could you ask me to do that?" Gwen yelled at him, uncaring that to anyone outside the room she was screaming at a dead man. "How could you ask me to kill you? It felt like murder. No, it was murder. You selfish bastard..." She took a deep breath to continue and then let it out with a sob, wrapping her arms around Jack and hugging him.

Jack disentangled himself from her embrace aware that he was dressed in a sheet, and not a very large one at that.

"I'm sorry Gwen. It had to be you. You were the only one I could trust to do it."

Gwen wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Yeah, well...next time give someone else the job. I'm through playing hitman."

Jack gave a weak smile. "This was a one shot deal, never to be repeated."

Gwen gave him a long hard look and then, with a tiny shrug, passed him the bundle of clothes perched on the neighbouring trolley, fortunately empty.

"Get dressed," she said briefly and turned her back. Jack had used her, disregarding her feelings without a thought. However much he tried to justify it, it was going to be a long time before she forgot that.

"How's Donna?" Jack's voice was tentative, Gwen could hear the fear.

She considered her answer for a moment turning back to face him. He was now sat on the trolley, dressed in his familiar uniform of dark canvas trousers, white t-shirt and pale blue over-shirt, ankles crossed.

"She's at home. With Siân, Wilf and her mum. Rhys is there too."

"I asked how she was, not where she was," Jack persisted, his fear growing with every passing second. What was Gwen not telling him?

Gwen sighed. "It's strange. She's really calm. I mean weirdly calm. The ambulance men, who were UNIT by the way, said by the time they arrived she was just sitting there with your head in her lap. Not crying, just stroking your hair. When they took you in the ambulance she refused to go with you. She told them you weren't there any more. That you'd gone home. She's been like that ever since. The only time I've seen her cry is when she told Siân and even then it seemed like it was more for Siân than for you. She wouldn't even come down to identify the body. She asked me to come instead. She said there was no point. That what was left wasn't you any more. It has to be shock, Jack. She does love you."

Jack realised with a start that Gwen thought that he would be upset at Donna's apparent indifference to his loss. That he would think that Donna didn't care enough about him to grieve. Or more accurately to grieve as Gwen would grieve if it had been Rhys. Jack had already witnessed Rhys's death, Gwen's keening howls of pain as he bled to death in her arms. Gwen expected Donna to rail at the world, scream at the injustice. But Donna was different, Donna's heart would be screaming inside, the same way his was, while outwardly they would both present a façade to the world. But one thing stood out as being the truth. Donna truly believed that his soul or being or whatever she called it, the essence of him, had left. He became aware that Gwen was looking at him waiting for him to answer. Not wishing to argue the point he nodded his head in what he hoped was a gesture of agreement.

"Is it being treated as an accident? I didn't hear the other car drive away."

Gwen looked uncomfortable. "It didn't," she said shortly. "The driver died at the scene."

Jack looked open mouthed in shock. "That wasn't part of the plan," he said angrily.

"Well you weren't around to consult," Gwen retorted furiously. "You left it up to me remember."

"That didn't mean you could send a man to his death," Jack fired back. He couldn't be responsible for another man's death, not again.

"He volunteered," Gwen yelled. Her shoulders slumped and she lowered her voice. "It wasn't my idea Jack, it was his." She looked at Jack who nodded curtly.

"Go on."

"His name was James Cutter, he was a senior officer in UNIT. About a year ago he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, and two months later his wife died. He had no children or family. The doctors had given him about another month. They had told him to give up work but he refused and so he'd been put on desk duty and was basically waiting to die. He was handling my request for a driver and proposed that he drive the car and suffer a fatal heart attack at the wheel. That way there would never be any suggestion of it being anything more than a tragic accident. He wanted to die doing his duty and this was a way to do it."

"So you agreed?" Jack's voice was still cold, although his tone was softer.

"Yes I did," Gwen said defiantly. Jack looked into her face for a long moment.

"Tough decision. I'm proud of you." He reached up and squeezed Gwen's shoulder, for the first time since the Doctor's visit looking and sounding like the leader of Torchwood rather than the broken man Gwen knew he was.

"What are you going to do now?" Gwen asked. "There's a helicopter waiting on the roof to take you to Cardiff or... wherever you need to go." Now Jack could hear the fear in her voice, the fear he'd use this as an excuse to run. And he had to admit he'd thought about it, but it wasn't an option. He had to stay and make sure that Donna and Siân stayed safe.

"Cardiff is fine," he said. He avoided Gwen's eyes. As soon as he stepped into the helicopter his life for the last seven years was over. "You need to go back to Donna. Look after her Gwen. She's hurting more than she'll let anyone know. Believe me the calmness is an act. They're both going to need you." His voice caught on the last word and without looking at her he jumped down from the trolley and strode towards the door of the lab.

"Thank you," he said quietly without turning round as he pushed the swing doors apart and disappeared between them.

* * *

The whole of the flight back to Cardiff, Jack sat, eyes closed willing the remnants of his pounding headache to go away. At the same time he was glad it was there, distracting him from the dull pain in his chest which intensified every time he thought of Donna and Siân. He wanted to comfort them, tell them he was alright, that the last few hours were nothing more than a bad dream. The knowledge that he was helpless made him clench his fists in frustration. As his thoughts churned round his head he remembered again Donna's final words to him. He was waiting. She had to mean Ianto, and using the same words Ianto had used in his dream. Was there a connection or was his brain, in its grief, making leaps in an attempt to comfort him as he faced the reality that he was alone again. He didn't seem to know anything any more. At that moment the helicopter touched down on the helipad and Jack saw, through the window, the figure of Martha patiently waiting for him, a look of sadness on her face. Pulling his coat around him, Jack jumped down onto the wet tarmac and strode across the helipad to meet her.

"I'm so sorry, Jack. Gwen told us today that you would be coming. She wouldn't tell us anything else."

Jack nodded, inwardly thanking Gwen for keeping his request to herself.

"I'm going to have to keep my head down for a while and absolutely no press exposure. It means the workload's going to be a bit heavy for a while whilst I'm confined to the Hub, at least during daylight." His voice was brisk, trying to maintain an air of normality. Martha wasn't fooled and Jack knew it but she didn't challenge him. With an authoritative bob of her head she turned on her heels and walked in the direction of Roald Dahl Plas, no doubt to warn Mickey and Lois of his impending arrival. Jack had other ideas. Looking at his watch he realised with surprise that it was half-past five in the morning. He set off towards the docks which he knew would be pretty much deserted at this early hour. Finding an unoccupied warehouse he let himself in with a few well aimed kicks at the lock, using his pent us frustration to splinter the doors' hinges, then entering the dark interior he took his mobile from his pocket and dialled the Doctor's number. It was time for some answers. The phone was answered on the second ring.

"It's done." Jack said abruptly without waiting to hear the Doctor's greeting.

"I'm coming now," the Doctor replied his voice sombre. "I'll triangulate on your phone signal."

* * *

Barely a minute had passed before Jack heard the wheezing grate and inexplicable swirl of wind which heralded the TARDIS's materialisation. As the wooden box solidified in front of him Jack pushed his shoulders back adopting the stance which Gwen and the other's had termed his 'Mess-with-me-you-die' pose. The last time he had seen the Doctor he had left him without a word, his anger too raw to allow him to speak in a civil manner. The anger was still there but he needed information and he was going to get it no matter what he had to do. The TARDIS door swung open but the Doctor did not emerge. Irritated Jack stepped across and stuck his head through the open doorway. Glancing around he saw the Doctor leaning on the console watching him warily. With an angry growl Jack stepped into the TARDIS.

"Too scared to come out Doctor? Are you afraid I'm gonna punch your lights out?"

"It had crossed my mind, yes," the Doctor replied with a nervous grimace. "After all if I were in your shoes that is what I would do." He looked Jack in the eye and stepped away from the console so he was practically nose to nose with the other man. "You can if you want. Punch my lights out. I probably deserve it."

"Oh you absolutely deserve it," Jack retorted, his voice dangerous. "But I didn't want you here for payback. I want answers. I think I've earned them. For the last seven years you've manipulated the lives of us all. You gave me a new family and now you've taken them away. All for the greater good? I've done everything you asked - on trust. Isn't it about time you trusted me with the truth?" He studied the conflicting emotions crossing the Doctor's face. Clearly he was battling with himself over just what to say. Part of him clearly wanted to tell him everything but Jack guessed that it wouldn't be as simple as that. He let some of his anger go and allowed his voice to soften.

"I thought we were better friends than this Doctor..."

The Doctor looked at him sharply.

"Believe me Jack if it were just a matter of the two of us, or even just Donna and Siân I would tell you everything in a heartbeat...well two heartbeats any way." He gave a swift twisted grin. "But it's not. I'm a Time Lord. We aren't supposed to interfere..." He held a hand up to cut off Jack's snort of incredulity. "Not in the big stuff anyway. The fixed moments in time. But this is too big. There is too much at stake for me not to at least try and nudge events in the right direction."

"You call what you've been doing, nudging?"

"In Time Lord terms yes but I admit to doing a fair amount of prodding too?" Jack couldn't help it, despite his intention to not give the Doctor an inch, he laughed. It sounded wrong in his ears and he let it die away.

"Will you ever be able to tell me what this all about?" he said finally. "Why it was so important I give up Donna and Siân? Why it was so important Siân was born, because that's really what all this nudging and prodding has been in aid of isn't it. Creating a human with a Time Lord intellect."

The Doctor nodded. "I promise you Jack, soon I will be able to tell you everything. Please trust me just a little longer."

"What I can't understand is why you had to lie to me. Why did you convince me that Donna needed to live an extraordinary life. Because I haven't made her life extraordinary have I? I've left her a widow..."

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Pah! Why do you humans believe some one has to save the world or invent something spectacular in order to be extraordinary? Leaving aside the fact that Donna has, so far, saved the world twice over and is well on the way to doing it for a third time. Jack, have you not looked at Donna?"

Jack looked confused at the question, he was still trying to work out what the Doctor meant about her saving the world three times.

"Of course I've looked at her," he said indignantly.

"And is she the same person you married?"

Jack looked blankly at him. Donna was Donna, the same Donna he'd fallen in love with seven years ago.

"Sheesh," the Doctor said. "Blind as a bat you humans. Even 51st century ones. Jack, because of you Donna is a wife, a mother, and a teacher. She wouldn't have done any of those things without you. How can you not say that's extraordinary?"

"I guess." Jack knew he was being obtuse. That what the Doctor was saying was true but still...

"What did you mean she saves the Earth three times?" The question that had been distracting him finally broke free. "I mean, I know about the first time and I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt over number three but when was the second time. Did I blink?" His voice was heavy with sarcasm.

The Doctor cocked his head to one side and looked at Jack appraisingly.

"You really don't know do you?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I did would I?" Jack said, losing patience. "No riddles either Doctor, just the plain truth."

"She saved you," the Doctor said simply with a gentle smile. When Jack didn't say anything he continued, "When I found you on Ventrasse 3 you didn't care if you lived or died, even knowing you were immortal, you tested your ability to revive every opportunity you got. You told me yourself you were hoping to make one stick. You were broken Jack, and when a man is in that much pain he can do things he would never contemplate doing if he were whole. The Jack Harkness I know is a man of good. If I hadn't found you then the name Jack Harkness would have become synonymous with evil in this Universe."

"You're lying," Jack protested his face pale and shocked, but the truth was in the Doctor's eyes.

"I saw a time line where you subjugated this Universe; where your will was the only will. I couldn't let that happen. To be fair though, it wasn't me. I just pointed you in the right direction. It was all Donna. She healed you, made you whole again. Gave you something to fight for. Kept you good. Like I said, saved the world again. Pretty bloody extraordinary if you ask me."

"So is that it? The big secret...?" Jack asked.

"One part of it, but it goes much further than that. Like I said, I need you to trust me a little bit longer."

Jack looked at the Doctor, the strain around his eyes was now evident, lines etched into his face that Jack had never seen before. All of the remaining anger Jack felt towards the man in front of him leached away. If a broken Jack was so dangerous, how much more dangerous was the last of the Time Lords if left to carry the burden of the Universe alone.

The Doctor returned Jack's gaze steadily not trying to hide the seriousness of the situation behind his usual bravado.

"For what it's worth Jack I am truly sorry that you had to leave Donna and Siân. If there was any way I could think of to let Donna recover her memories and remain safe believe me I would do it in a second."

"I just want to know that they are OK," Jack said haltingly, his voice pained. "That what I've done doesn't ruin their lives forever. I know I couldn't live with that."

The Doctor regarded him thoughtfully for a moment.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt. If we were quick." His face brightened and he clapped his hands enthusiastically. Then he bounced off to the far side of the console.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked, startled at the Doctor's abrupt change of mood.

"Taking you on a little trip." The Doctor grinned suddenly. "Spoilers!"

* * *

The Doctor began to dart around the console pushing buttons and pulling levers. Despite his extended time in the TARDIS Jack had never got to grips with how the time machine actually functioned. Every action the Doctor took looked totally random. Puzzled he stood back and let the Doctor do his thing, only moving to pass him a large rubber hammer at his request. As the giant central column started to rise and the engines wheezed into life Jack immediately felt at peace. There was a connection between the Doctor's ship and himself, intangible but real. He guessed it had something to do with the fact that he owed his immortality to the TARDIS. If she had not allowed Rose to take the Time vortex into her mind in order to save the Doctor, he would never have been resurrected on the Gamestation. Never been wrong. The TARDIS clearly knew he was wrong, she'd fought hard to shake him off on that fateful first meeting after his resurrection. But eventually she had accepted him, just as the Doctor had done. He had often wondered what would happen if the TARDIS should ever die. He supposed that eventually, inconceivable as it seemed, he would one day find out. And it would mean that his friend was dead and he would truly be alone.

"Where are we going?" he asked finally, being startled out of his reverie by a particularly violent lurch.

"Oxford, 2029," the Doctor replied. "July 17th to be precise."

"Why?"

"You'll see." The Doctor shot him a cheeky grin.

As he spoke the central console shuddered to a halt signalling their arrival. The Doctor immediately strode to the doors and flung them open.

"Come on then," he said cheerily stepping outside. Jack followed him, his expression intrigued.

The TARDIS stood in an alley, tucked between two high, old stone walls. Beneath his feet the surface was cobbled telling Jack that wherever they were, it was somewhere old. As he looked round he saw the Doctor disappear round the corner. Hastily he ran after him almost cannoning into him as he realised the Doctor had halted beside a set of black wrought-iron gates. Beyond the gates was a courtyard, surrounded by a covered colonnade, crowded with people in suits and smart summer dressers. The Doctor grabbed the sleeve of Jack's coat and pulled him sharply through the gates and behind one of the columns that supported the roof of the colonnade.

"We can't be seen. Temporal paradox and all that," he hissed. "Now then..."

He appeared to be scanning the crowd. Jack tried to follow his line of sight but the Doctor's eyes were moving too quickly.

"A-ha, there!" He pointed across the courtyard triumphantly.

Allowing his gaze to follow the direction of the Doctor's finger Jack felt like he had been punched in the gut. Twenty yards away, partially obscured by the throngs of people stood a young woman dressed in cap and gown, auburn hair trailing down her back. She stood laughing with an older woman, also with auburn hair but this time streaked with white. Donna.

"Is that Siân?" Jack breathed, hardly daring to believe the stunning young woman was the little girl he'd waved goodbye to just yesterday.

"The one and only." The Doctor grinned. "She's just been awarded her doctorate at the very young age of 18."

Jack wasn't really listening. He was just looking at Donna and Siân in wonderment. They looked so beautiful and they were OK. Really OK. He brushed away the tears which suddenly welled in his eyes. He tried to pick their voices out from the general hum and to his delight they suddenly broke away from the main crowd and moved towards him. With a muttered curse the Doctor pulled him further round the column out of sight. Jack wrenched his arm free and edged back round the column until he could just see them.

"I'm so proud of you," Donna was saying, her face wreathed in a wide smile. "And your Dad would be too. I wish he was here to see it." Her face looked wistful for a minute and Jack felt his heart contract.

"I'm sure he's about somewhere," Siân replied with a soft smile. "He's never very far away." She leaned over and hugged her mother, who smiled and nodded. Then she shook her head.

"Today's a happy day. Where is John? I sent him to get a drink and he's been gone ten minutes. A woman could die of thirst here!"

Jack took a step back. John. Who the hell was John? Before he could scan the crowd for the mysterious man the Doctor grabbed his arm again and pulled him into the shadows.

"Time to go," he hissed, and Jack thought he too was scanning the crowd, although this time in concern.

"Temporal paradox Jack. You can't meet yourself. Do you really think you won't show up at your daughter's graduation even if you have to hide. Come on."

Jack allowed himself to be dragged away, casting one last look back at Donna and Siân, now laughing over 'John's' absence. Was John Siân's boyfriend, or Donna's? He didn't like either option, but he didn't have a say. He'd forfeited that right.

* * *

Back in the TARDIS Jack sat silently on one of the crew chairs, deep in thought. He had wanted to know that they would be alright, that they would eventually get over his death and move on. And they had. He was still loved, and missed, but they had moved on. Jack supposed he should feel comforted but somehow it just brought home to him how much of their lives he was going to miss. It wasn't the Doctor's fault, he'd asked and the Doctor had granted his request. He now realised with blinding clarity the truth in the saying to be careful what you wish for.

He became aware that the Doctor was watching him with a pitying expression.

"I'm sorry, that must have been hard. I shouldn't have taken you there."

"No. I asked. It's just going to take some getting used to. So..." Jack straightened up, forcing the hurt aside, "A doctorate at 18. That takes some doing. Although she is working towards her GCSE's now."

"GCSE's at seven, A levels at eleven, degree at 14, doctorate at 18. Brilliant!"

"Absolutely brilliant," Jack agreed with a ghost of a smile. "I wish I was there to see it."

The Doctor merely smiled one of those cryptic smiles guaranteed to drive Jack insane and busied himself with the return trip to Cardiff 2017.

* * *

An hour later Jack stepped though the door of the Hub. The Doctor had left promising that he would return when the time was right to tell Jack the whole truth. Jack had walked back from the docks, taking his time, reliving the few short moments in the courtyard. The guilty pain in his chest he felt whenever he thought about leaving Donna and Siân would be there for a long time, at the moment he believed it would be there forever. But he'd carried such pain before; Gray, his father, Ianto. He would work. Throw himself into Torchwood with a passion not seen since the days of Alice Guppy. And wait.

As Jack walked up the stairs to his office, ignoring the curious stares of Lois and Mickey he suddenly remembered that he'd forgotten to ask the Doctor about his dream and Donna's last words. Like everything else he guessed that, that too would just have to wait.

* * *

**Things afoot and the Doctor is nearly out of places to hide...**

**So just three chapters left to go now, unless the last two spin out of control in that way chapters tend to do...More soon. I promise :D**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: I can only apologise for the inordinately long time it's taken for me to post this chapter. I can only blame poorly husbands, poorly daughters and a expensive trip to the BBC Good food Show! This chapter is dedicated to MizScarlet for reasons that will be clear to her if no-one else. Also I make no apologies for moving the story on two years. I couldn't bear to dwell on Jack and Donna's grief - it made me way too miserable. Enjoy.**

* * *

_Chapter XXI_

"Mum?" Donna could hear the wheedling tone in her daughter's voice which heralded some request that was going to give her pause for thought. She looked across at Siân whose face was a picture of wide-eyed innocence. Her colouring, and temper for that matter, might be from her, she thought affectionately, but her mannerisms and easy charm were all Jack. The thought of Jack caused her heart to contract. Two years. He had been gone two years, and she still missed him every day. But it was getting easier, the harsh pain in her chest every time she took a breath had gradually been replaced by a dull ache which caught her unawares at odd moments. Like now.

"Yes?" she replied warily, wondering what she was letting herself in for.

"Could I go to Auntie Gwen's this weekend. I haven't been for ages and Ianto says Tosh is walking now."

Donna couldn't help but smile. The birth of Gwen's daughter Toshiko Emily just over eleven months ago had been one of the few moments of happiness in the last two years, even though it had reminded her of what she had lost.

"And how do you propose to get to Cardiff, Tink?" she said, knowing that Siân wouldn't have asked unless she had a very detailed plan worked out.

"Well, Uncle Rhys has a delivery in London on Friday so he could take me across and Auntie Gwen has a meeting here on Monday so she can bring me back. Please?"

Donna shook her head in amazement at the obvious effort Siân had gone into to make sure there were no obstacles to her visit.

"And I'm guessing you've already cleared this with Gwen and Rhys," she chuckled, recognising a lost cause when she saw it.

"Well....yes..." Siân looked a little abashed. "...but they did say I had to check with you before they would agree."

"Alright then, as long as you get back here in good time on Sunday night. After all you've got school on Monday and you're absolutely useless when you're tired. Tell Gwen she can stay here on Sunday, I could use a catch up session."

Siân jumped down from the high stool she had been perched on and hugged Donna.

"You're the best! I'll ring Auntie Gwen now," she called behind her as she ran out of the kitchen.

In truth Donna did want to talk to Gwen but not just to catch up. For the last few days something had been playing on her mind and many of her worries were centred on what Gwen would say when she broached the subject. Although the pain of losing Jack was still very real she had realised that she didn't want to be alone for the rest of her life. Jack had made her promise that she would find someone else, and for a long time the mere thought of keeping that promise had filled her with a sick feeling. But the previous day she had met a man. He had cannoned into her on the pavement as she tried to open the door of her car with one hand whilst balancing a stack of exercise books in the other. Inevitably the books had gone crashing to the floor. The man had immediately stopped and leant down to help her retrieve them, a stream of apologies and curses issuing from his lips. As they had both straightened up and he had handed her his stack of books their eyes had met, his apologetic, hers amused and Donna had felt a flutter in her chest she hadn't felt in a long time. Not since Jack. With dark eyes, cropped blond hair and a slim rangy frame, he bore no resemblance to the man she had lost. Jack had been larger than life, full of smiles and easy charm. This man looked, it had to be said, brooding and dangerous. Nevertheless she had smiled somewhat nervously, and the man, introducing himself had asked her to meet him for a drink. Her first instinct had been to decline, to send the man packing with a withering retort about the dangers of strange men; and it had been on the tip of her tongue to do it. Then, for some reason, the promise she had made to Jack pushed its way into her mind and she found herself saying she would think about it, maybe call him later. The man had scribbled his mobile number on the back of one of the exercise books before Donna could stop him, then with a wide grin, which again triggered a flutter somewhere in her chest, he had bowed theatrically and sprinted off down the street leaving a confused Donna staring at the defaced book with what could only be described as a goofy grin on her face.

Almost immediately she had felt sickened by her actions, the interlude a betrayal of her love for Jack, and she had nearly ripped the back from the book to obliterate the evidence. But she hadn't. On reaching home she had carefully copied the number onto a post-it note which now stared at her accusingly from the door of the fridge. That morning she had handed the defaced book back to its indignant fourteen year old owner, feigning ignorance of how the number came to be there. Taking a deep breath Donna deliberately took the post-it note down and plucked her mobile out of her pocket. Then with a trembling hand she carefully dialled the number. It was answered on the first ring. Her voice was surprisingly steady as she spoke.

"Hello? John? This is Donna Harkness. We met in the street yesterday...Yes everything was fine. No damage done. Listen, I was just wondering whether the offer to meet for a drink was still open..."

* * *

"Jack?"

Lois poked her head round the door of Jack's office where he was partially hidden behind a huge alien artefact of indeterminate origin sitting on his desk. She heard a muttered curse as his head appeared around the edge of the angular structure.

"I've been trying to open this bloody thing for three hours. So far nothing." Jack stood up so he could see Lois properly, the frustration plain on his face.

"What is it anyway? Is it safe to open?" To be fair Lois didn't know why she was asking the question. If there was any chance of the artefact being dangerous he wouldn't be trying to open it in his office. The only reason he was bothering with the object at all was because he was confined to the Hub, as Siân was in town and he couldn't risk been seen. Over the last two years everyone at Torchwood, apart from Gwen, had come to dread the times when Donna and Siân visited the city. Jack would become sullen and withdrawn, hiding in his office, only emerging to bark orders down from the gantry. Lois knew that during those visits Jack would access the city's CCTV cameras so he could catch a glimpse of them as they visited the shops or went to the park to play. She never shared her knowledge with her colleagues. It wasn't her place, and if she were Jack she would probably do the same thing. Even after two years his grief at losing them was still palpable. Lois didn't know how he could stand it; watching them from afar, knowing he could never be part of their lives again.

"It's a MIP, a Metvixien Information Pod." Jack explained, snapping her back to attention. "Not dangerous, but it could have some interesting stuff inside. We can use the data it contains to extend the archives of some of the lesser known species. The problem is they are renowned for being difficult to access. The Metvixien race have a degree of psychokinetic ability and thirteen fingers on each hand – makes for some really interesting locking mechanisms." He fiddled with the MIP's housing for a few seconds more and then gave a huff of frustration. "I give up!" He violently pushed the object away from him in disgust and it rolled of the table onto the floor with a hollow thud. Almost immediately there was a hiss and the pod separated into two halves, the interior surface covered with data crystals. They reminded Lois of the ones in the Superman movies which had led to so much teasing as a child.

"Bloody typical!" Jack snorted. "So what can I do for you Lois, shouldn't you be long gone, cosying up with Mickey in some wine bar?"

Lois looked taken aback, she hadn't realised her relationship with Mickey was common knowledge. They had tried to be discrete.

Jack saw her face and chuckled. "Er...head of Torchwood. There isn't much that gets past me. Don't worry I don't think anyone else has worked it out."

Lois smiled weakly. "Er...fine...good. And you're OK with it?"

"Go for it. I'm the last one to lecture about relationships at work." A shadow passed over Jack's face. Lois saw it and hurried on.

"Just to let you know. I'm not sure, but I think we might have had a security breach. I think someone has hacked our files."

Jack immediately looked concerned. "What do you mean you're not sure?"

"It's very subtle and just a few files. There are a couple of date-time stamps that are off, only by a few seconds, but it looks as if they have been accessed. There is no record of them being accessed by anyone here though. It might just be a glitch in the system."

"Which files are affected?" Jack asked, not noticeably reassured by this assessment.

"Personnel files. Your's, Gwen's, and Ianto's."

"Given all the data Torchwood has, they seem a weird choice to hack into." Jack mused out loud.

"That's what I thought. There isn't anything particularly sensitive apart from your immortality and the manner of Ianto's death. Even then..."

"It's a lot of trouble to go for such small stuff when there are some bits of information here that would bring down the government," Jack finished for her. "Look leave it with me and go home. It will give me something to do this weekend."

Lois nodded. "'Night then," she replied. Jack nodded, but she could tell his mind was already busy with trying to work out who could have accessed the files and why.

* * *

The following day he was still no closer to an answer. The rift was quiet and there was no reason for anyone to come in. In fact he had told them all to take a well-earned weekend off. He had worked late into the night trying to trace the source of the security breach but to no avail. Whoever had hacked into the files was immensely clever and talented, using every conceivable method to avoid detection. He made a mental note to try and recruit them to Torchwood if he ever discovered their identity. He had just given up for the night and was considering ordering in pizza when he was startled by a knock on the office door. Absorbed in his enquiries he hadn't seen the warning lights which accompanied the opening of the Hub door. Since no alarm had gone off he knew it had to be one of the team. He looked up with interest to see Gwen standing in the doorway looking apprehensive.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked with a grin, getting to his feet. "Has the effort of looking after Ianto, Tosh and Siân overwhelmed you? Are you hiding out?"

Gwen shook her head hesitantly. "Not exactly," she said nervously. "Jack, I think you might need to sit back down."

Jack looked at her incredulously. What could possibly be so disturbing that he would need to sit? He shook his head and with a tiny shrug of resignation Gwen stepped to one side, out of the doorway and into the office. Jack felt his knees give way and with a gasp he stumbled into the chair which was thankfully behind him. Replacing Gwen in the doorway was Siân, smiling broadly.

"Hello Dad."

* * *

Later Jack didn't remember clambering to his feet or leaping over his desk, crossing the room in two seconds flat, although Gwen assured him that he did. All he remembered was that one moment he was looking at Siân's smiling face, and the next he had enveloped her in a fierce hug and they were both crying and trying to talk at the same time. He had questions, millions of them, but for the moment all that was important was that he make up for two years of lost hugs and goodnight kisses.

It took a full twenty minutes before either of them were calm enough to speak clearly. Finally they sat on the sofa, Siân sitting across Jack's lap as if she were still the little girl of six he'd left behind rather than the grown up young lady of eight she now was. Gwen sat beside them, quiet, not wanting to interfere in their reunion.

"How?" Jack asked finally, although at this moment he didn't care how she had found him only that she had.

Siân didn't speak but just hugged Jack tighter. Gwen decided she should start the ball rolling.

"Siân arrived last night with Rhys just as we'd arranged," Gwen began, not entirely sure how to continue. She paused and then launched in, "Today while we were out shopping for clothes she just turned round, in the middle of Gap would you believe, and said she knew I wasn't her real Auntie, that I worked for Torchwood and that you couldn't be dead because you were immortal." Gwen leaned back into the sofa with a relieved sigh. "How the hell, I mean, how on earth can she know that Jack? I haven't said anything, you have to believe me.."

"Siân?" Jack said looking at his daughter who was now sheepishly trying to avoid his eyes. "How did you find me?" His tone was stern, although Gwen could tell it was all just for show.

Siân gave a huge exaggerated sigh.

"Please don't be mad. It was Grandad Wilf. He was teaching me the stars last week, up on the allotment. I was talking about heaven and I asked him if he thought you were in heaven. He said you had to be dead to go to heaven. At first I thought he was just confused, because he gets that way sometimes now," Siân's smile faltered and her voice was sad. "Talking about the past and someone called the Doctor."

"Does he ever talk about these thing's in front of your mum?" Jack said, a shiver of fear running through him.

"No. I don't think so. Only with me. It's our game. Inventing stories about impossible things. But this time when I reminded him that you were dead he shook his head and just said 'Torchwood'. So I started to look into Torchwood and...well..."

"To cut a long story short you ended up hacking into our files where you found me and Auntie Gwen." Jack finished for her.

"Yeeesss," her reply was long and drawn out. There was clearly more. "Did you love Ianto?"

Jack opened his mouth stunned. He looked at her unsure of what to say. How did she know about Ianto? Then he remembered the third file that had been accessed.

"Very much," he said finally, opting for the truth. "Did your mum tell you about him?"

"Not his name," Siân confessed. "She said you'd been married to someone before her, that it had been a man you had worked with and he died. She said he was very special and he was looking after you now. When I saw Ianto Jones on one of the files I wondered if that was who she had been talking about. Did you love him more than her?"

Jack shook his head, "Not more, or less, just different. Believe me Siân I didn't want to leave you or your mum..." Jack couldn't believe that Siân was not more upset with him, after all he'd lied to her for two years. Abandoned her. She should be screaming at him.

Siân looked at him in bemusement. "I know that. Grandad said."

"What?" It was Jack's turn to look confused. In the last two years Jack had periodically contacted Wilf to check that Donna and Siân were managing. He had to say he had never seen any sign of Wilf losing his faculties. With a blinding flash of realisation he knew that all of Wilf's stories and slips had been intentional. He cursed himself for being so stupid. Wilf had recognised what Siân was, knew that she would be able to handle the truth and be trusted to keep the secret in spite of her young age. As soon as he had seen that she was mature enough to handle the consequences of what the knowledge of Jack's immortality and Donna's buried memories meant, he had given her the clues confident she would make the discovery on her own. And of course she had. She had applied that dizzying intellect to the search for her father just as she applied it to everything else in her life.

"After I found the files I went back to see Grandad," Siân explained. "He told me all the stories were real, about the Doctor and aliens and stuff. He told me that you and mum had travelled with him for a while but that mum couldn't be allowed to remember, ever. He said that was why you'd had to leave. Because if you had stayed mum would have eventually remembered. But you didn't want to and you were missing us like crazy. That's when I came up with the plan to come over here and see you. Aren't you glad I did?" Despite her apparent confidence, Jack could see Siân was seeking reassurance that she had done the right thing.

He smiled and hugged her until she grunted in protest.

"You will never know how glad I am," he said, his eyes once more filling with tears. "Or just how much I have missed you Tink. I can see a lot more trips to Cardiff in your future." With a happy nod Siân wrapped her arms around her father's neck and squeezed hard.

* * *

Later that night Jack closed the door to his bedroom. He could still hardly believe that Siân was here in the Hub and that he had just read her a story and tucked her into bed as if the last two years had never happened. She didn't blame him for leaving; she understood why he'd had to leave, why she could never tell her mother that her father was alive and living in Cardiff. There had been no recriminations, only tears of joy that they had been reunited. For the first time in two years there was happiness in his life again. But there was also fear. Fear of what Donna might find out, and fear that with what he believed was the final piece of the puzzle in place, Siân's knowledge of the Doctor and Torchwood, that the Doctor would keep his promise and return. The only question was how long would it take. As he descended into the main cavernous expanse of the Hub he realised the time was already here; as he watched, the TARDIS materialised before him.

* * *

**Just two chapters left to go...**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: So here we are, the penultimate chapter. Apologies to everyone at the length of time it has taken to post this. Annoying Christmas jobs and a continuing poorly daughter (now thankfully on the mend) have been doing their best to keep me occupied. Lots of questions answered...**

**BTW, big thanks and hugs must go to Marzi for prompting me to rewrite Jack's reaction to the Doctor's arrival. It just felt so right!**

**

* * *

**_Chapter XXII_

By the time Jack reached the TARDIS the wooden doors were already open although the Doctor was nowhere to be seen. Curious Jack poked his head through the open door to look inside. Still no Doctor. There was a clunk somewhere behind him, telling him that someone had accessed one of the big metal blast doors that separated the main Hub from the lower levels. Jack spun round and set off in the direction of the sound. Clearly the Doctor had already embarked on his usual exploration session. Jack wondered how he'd managed to get past him without being seen. From the moment the TARDIS had begun to materialise right up to the moment he'd poked his head through the door the only time the TARDIS had been out of his sight was when he'd turned to descend the second of the two flights of stairs which led up to his office and bedroom. It had taken him two seconds to make the turn, hardly enough time to sneak out of the TARDIS, certainly not enough time if it had been accidental. No, the Doctor wanted to find something in the lower levels of the Hub before he saw Jack. There was only one thing Jack could think of that would spark the Doctor's interest down there. With a muted curse he sprinted towards the vault.

* * *

The door to the vault was locked. Jack recognised the signature of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver and, after trying to yank open the door unsuccessfully half a dozen times, he gave up and resorted to braying on the door with his fists.

"Doctor," he yelled furiously. "Open this door now!" There was silence from within. Jack was scared. What was the Doctor up to? What reason could he possibly have for accessing Ianto's body? Jack's fear made his voice climb in pitch, yelling for the Doctor over and over. But still there was no response from inside the locked vault. Finally with a sob of fear and frustration combined, Jack allowed his legs to collapse beneath him and he leant with his back against the door, half-heartedly striking the metal with his clenched fist.

He must have been sat there a good ten minutes, the only sound being the dull repetitive thud of his hand on the door when there was a lock click and the heavy metal door swung inwards, dumping him unceremoniously at the Doctor's feet. The Doctor looked at him in surprise and offered his hand down to help Jack to his feet. Jack brushed the hand angrily away and clambered to his feet unaided. Then without a pause he pulled back his fist and let fly, all his frustration concentrated into those five fingers. There was a dull satisfying thwack as he connected with the Doctor's cheek, sending the Time Lord sprawling in a heap on the floor.

"I asked you to let me in." Jack's voice was cold and unforgiving.

The Doctor looked up at Jack from his position on the floor somewhat dazed, and rubbed his now reddening cheek.

"I suppose I deserved that," he muttered, clambering to his feet, as it became obvious Jack was not going to offer him a hand. "Didn't think you'd actually do it though. It hurt you know."

Jack ignored him. "I asked you to let me in," he repeated.

"I was busy," the Doctor replied bluntly, his voice flat. "I'm surprised you didn't wake the whole of Cardiff with that racket. I'm sure you woke Siân up. Shouldn't you go check on her?" It was clear that he seemed eager to change the subject.

"I will in a minute," Jack said silkily. "After you tell me what you were doing in the vault." He knew he should be surprised that the Doctor knew of Siân's presence in the Hub but he wasn't, and besides at that moment it didn't matter.

"I was checking," the Doctor said, seemingly unwilling to elaborate.

"Checking what?" Jack voice was more low and dangerous than the Doctor could ever remember.

"I was checking the condition of Ianto's body actually. Checking that the cryopreservation was intact."

Jack's face blanched.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

The Doctor looked at Jack for almost a minute before replying.

"To see if he can be revived. Ianto isn't dead."

* * *

The Doctor watched as the last vestiges of colour drained from Jack's face. Concerned that he might be about to pass out he put his arm out to support him but Jack pulled away sharply unable to bear his touch.

"That's not funny," he flared.

"I wasn't trying to be," the Doctor replied kindly. "I meant it. He's not dead."

"I don't believe you. I felt him die," Jack protested, "He died in my arms. I died. After the 456 were destroyed I sat with him for five days. I think there might have been some kind of sign if he were alive don't you?" The Doctor matched Jack's disbelieving gaze steadily. Clearly Jack was not prepared to take this on trust.

"It's complicated," he said slowly. "There's a lot I need to tell you."

"If Ianto really is alive then you can explain after we revive him," Jack said, turning briskly and lunging for the drawer containing Ianto's body.

"No!" the Doctor said sharply putting his hand out to restrain him. Despite his lanky stature he was surprisingly strong and held Jack back with apparent ease. "You can't wake him yet. It's not as simple as that."

Jack's face fell. "Why did I just know you were going to say that?" he said bitterly, his disappointment evident.

"Experience?" the Doctor suggested with a slight smile.

"Bitter experience," Jack agreed with a distinct lack of smile.

"Look, it's not as if he's going anywhere," the Doctor reasoned thoughtlessly, earning himself a vicious glare from Jack. "What I mean is," he continued hurriedly aware that he was on precarious ground. "Nothing is going to happen in the length of time it takes me to explain, is it?" He was modestly reassured by Jack's curt nod of the head. "So can we go upstairs where it's warm. This is going to take a while and I could really murder a cup of tea."

Jack almost smiled. The Doctor's love of a good brew was legendary amongst those who had travelled with him. Some had even speculated that the reason the Doctor was so fond of Earth was that it was as he had put it 'the only place in the whole damn universe you can get a decent cup of tea'. His amusement was almost instantly replaced by a searing spurt of anger and instead he merely pushed the Doctor, none too gently, out of the vault into the corridor beyond. The Doctor, a relieved expression on his face, scurried in front of him trying to stay out of arms' reach. On reaching the main Hub Jack curtly pointed to his office and they both mounted the stairs not speaking. Jack propelled the Doctor through the office door into the dimly lit office space.

"Stay here," he ordered, returning to the corridor and shutting the door behind him. He continued along the gantry until he reached the room which he had commandeered as his living quarters and silently pushed open the door. Siân was still fast asleep, apparently unaware of the ructions which had taken place below. With a relieved sigh Jack gently pulled the door closed and returned to his office. In his absence the Doctor had made himself at home and was rifling through the papers on Jack's desk with unabashed curiosity.

"Oooh, you've got an MIP. I've always wanted a look at one of those. Have you managed to open it yet? I hear they can be quite tricky." Babbling away the Doctor appeared oblivious to the thunderous glower on Jack's face.

Thud! The Doctor suddenly found his head was plastered against the solid wood of the desk, the not inconsiderable weight of Jack Harkness pressing down on his ear.

"Huh...dugh...pwfff..." he spluttered, his mouth buried in the files that, mere seconds ago, had been the centre of his attention. Jack eased the pressure allowing the Doctor to manoeuvre his mouth free of the obstruction.

"Look, I know you're angry..." he started to say but was silenced by a growl from Jack. "OK, more than angry. Furious, incensed, enraged, irate, wrathful, livid...come on I'm running out of suitable adjectives here. Really really mad, will that do? And you deserve to be. But I can't explain with my head glued to a table..." There was a moment of increased pressure on his ear and then suddenly Jack was gone, stalking across the room scowling as if he were an animal cheated of his prey.

The Doctor slowly raised his head from the table rubbing feeling back into his ear, waiting for Jack to turn and face him.

"Well?" Jack's expression was terse and unforgiving. "Go on then. Explain. All of it. Ianto. Siân. From the beginning...Now!"

"The 456 was never supposed to happen," he said quickly. He saw Jack start but continued before he could interrupt. "Not in 2009, not in 1964. Originally the Earth never came to their attention..."

"So what changed? What did you do Doctor? What exactly did the 456 do to Ianto. If he isn't dead then what the hell happened to him because he fucking well isn't alive by any definition I know."

The Doctor flinched at the venom in Jack's tone. He knew Jack had every reason to be angry, he had played with his life in an unforgivable fashion. Even the knowledge that what he had done was for the good of every human being alive seemed poor justification. But the thought that Jack believed that the actions of the 456 were somehow his fault struck him to his very core. The truth was, in some respects, it was his fault. He had started a chain of events which had inexorably led them to this point, but he had been blind. He had once said to Rose, boasted almost, that he could see all of time, all that had ever been and all that would ever be. And that was true, to a point. The fixed points in time around which the whole of time and space revolved, those he could sense. But he hadn't foreseen the creation of the greatest fixed point in time of all, Jack Harkness. In the end all roads led back to Rose, his beloved Rose. The day he had taken her hand in his, felt the sudden connection that unbelievably spoke to him of home, that was the event which had altered the time lines so irrevocably to bring him, and Jack to this point. Without Rose, without the Bad Wolf, there would be no Jack Harkness, fixed point of Time; no Torchwood; the history of the Earth was changed forever. But even though he had set that train of events into motion, he wasn't prepared to take the blame for the 456. That lay firmly at the door of someone else.

"It wasn't me," he said calmly, trying not to sound as defensive as he felt. "It was Dalek Kahn." He saw some of the hostility leave Jack's eyes and was for some reason ridiculously comforted by it. "When he manipulated the time lines to bring Donna and me together. You know what happens as well as I do when you start interfering in the time lines Jack. It's like dropping a stone in a pond, it sends ripples out through space and time, the consequences of which are impossible to predict. The 456 was a consequence of one of those ripples. They are an old race, so old their name has been lost in the mists of time. They come from a region of the Universe which is practically uninhabited. In the original time lines the species died out before it had time to identify human children as a possible source of chemical stimuli. Something changed as a result of Dalek Kahn's interference and they found out about humans. And they came looking."

All the time the Doctor had been speaking he had watched as he saw a glimmer of hope dawn in Jack's face. He knew what his next words would be and he dreaded the effect his reply would inevitably have.

"If it was never meant to happen then surely we can go back and change it. Steven doesn't need to die? Ianto would still be...here."

"It doesn't work like that," he replied sadly. "Those events have become fixed in time. If we change them the time lines will unravel, into the past as well as into the future. There is no telling what damage we could do. The time lines created by Dalek Kahn all centred on Donna. If Donna never met me, imagine what could have happened. Apart from anything else she would never have met you. Siân wouldn't exist. I'm sorry Jack. If there was a way I could bring Steven and Ianto back I would, you know that."

He watched as Jack visibly deflated and, with the air of an old man, sink down onto the sofa where less than an hour before he had been laughing with his daughter.

"Why are you telling me this Doctor?" he said tiredly. "If I can't do anything about it. If I can't save them, what is the point?"

"Because it isn't over yet. Fifteen years from now the 456 come back. They attack without warning. They release the virus to decimate the adult population and take all the children. Every single child under the age of twelve vanishes without trace. Earth is crippled. The human race never recovers."

Jack paled. "You've seen this?"

He nodded. "Before I came looking for you on Earth in 2009, I visited Earth in the year 2059. It should have been one of the most exciting times in Earth history; the establishment of the first Mars colony. But there was nothing, Earth was practically a dead planet. That's when I came looking for you in Cardiff and learnt about the 456. I traced the time lines forwards and back, found the connection to Dalek Kahn, and identified the date the 456 attacks for the third and final time. At the moment it's not a fixed point in time, the time lines are in flux. We need to stop it happening or the whole future of the human race will cease to be."

"No pressure then?" Jack said wearily. "How do we stop it?"

"We don't, she does." the Doctor pointed to a framed photograph on the shelf behind Jack's desk. It was of Donna holding the newborn Siân.

Jack looked confused.

"Donna?" he said disbelievingly. "Is this the third time she saves Earth?" As much as he loved Donna he couldn't see how she would be able to defeat a race of aliens practically older than time, not without retrieving her buried memories anyway.

"Siân," the Doctor corrected, a hint of a smile crossing his features for the first time since they had come up from the vault.

Jack couldn't keep the incredulity from his face.

"But she's eight years old," he protested. Then a look of blind panic descended over his face.

"You're not sacrificing her to those monsters like I sacrificed Steven. I'm not losing another child to those bastards." His voice bordered on the hysterical.

"No!" the Doctor practically shouted his denial. "I promise you Jack, not one human, child or adult, will ever be harmed by the 456 again. You have my word."

"So how will Siân save the human race? I'm not putting her in any danger. I'm sorry. I'm not risking her, not even to save this whole goddam planet." Jack's voice was calm once more but implacable. Nothing the Doctor could say would ever change his mind on that score. Fortunately he didn't need to try. The Doctor gave him a sheepish smirk which immediately made Jack wary.

"You never asked me what Siân's doctorate was in," he said mildly. He paused for effect as though he were announcing the finalists of some reality talent show. "It was virology."

"Siân finds a cure for the virus?" Jack asked wonderingly, impressed at the complexity of the Doctor's machinations despite his continued anger at his entire family being manipulated at the Doctor's whim. The Doctor nodded proudly. Jack frowned. "Why does it need to be Siân? Couldn't you just whip one up here and now? It wouldn't be the first time," he questioned.

"Nope. In the first instance I'd be breaking the first rule of the Time Lords by directly interfering in the development of a civilisation." He caught Jack's mocking look and had the good grace to look abashed. "Well I realise it's more of a strong guideline than a strict rule as far as I'm concerned, but to be fair for the most part I try to stick to nudging..." He caught Jack's eye again. "Well prodding anyway... Secondly it's a seriously complex virus. Nothing like it has ever been seen in this part of the Universe before. Even for me it would take some time to crack. But Siân, she's special, she'll be able to try things I wouldn't even think of."

Jack looked puzzled. The Doctor grinned. He loved being able to surprise his companions, even ones as intelligent and well-travelled as Jack. He took a seat next to Jack on the sofa, considering he was probably safe from his wrath by now. Jack's eyebrows shot up, but he said nothing and shifted further up the seat to make room for the Doctor's sprawling frame.

"Do you remember when Donna became the Doctor-Donna?" the Doctor began. Jack returned a withering look which caused the Doctor to continue hurriedly, "She said there were things she could think of which I never could because I lacked that spark of what it was to be human. She called it gut instinct. And she was right. But Siân..."

"Has all of your intellect, but is also human..."

"The best of both worlds," the Doctor agreed happily. "All I needed to do was nudge her interests in the right direction."

"The microscope!" Jack interjected. "I always wondered what made you choose that as a present for a three year old."

"All you need to do now is recruit her into Torchwood after she finishes her doctorate and..."

"Whoa there, Doctor. There is no way I'm letting her get mixed up with this place. It's not safe! Just look at what happened to Tosh and Owen, not to mention Ianto." The Doctor heard his voice catch on the last name and inwardly smiled. Just a few more minutes and then he could finally tell Jack the truth about the fate of Ianto Jones. For the present he merely looked at Jack sceptically.

"Knowing your daughter, do you think you have any chance of stopping her from joining Torchwood. She's already managed to find you here by herself and she's only eight. She's a force of nature Jack, accept it. Besides can you think of anywhere else where she'll be able to make full use of her talents and not be exploited? I'm not suggesting she goes on field missions Jack. Just give her a lab and she'll be happy. Besides if you want her to find the cure for the virus, she'll need more facilities than any of the usual labs can offer her..."

Jack look resigned. "I guess so. So if... and I mean _if_ I recruit her to Torchwood she will be able to find a cure for the 456 virus?"

"Yes. She engineers a mutated strain of the virus that will protect people against the effects of the virus, effectively rendering it harmless. That's another reason it has to be Siân that comes up with the cure. The governments of the Earth will never put their trust in something presented to them by an alien, not when every human being on the planet will need to be inoculated.

"But the 456 will still attempt to take the children," Jack commented.

"They'll try. But with the adult population still functioning, the weapons of the day will be sufficient to see off the 456 attack."

"I'm glad," Jack said earnestly. "I'm glad Ianto didn't die for nothing. I'm assuming that's where Siân gets the samples of virus from. That's really why you were checking Ianto's body isn't it? To make sure there was still live virus present in his system."

Clearly Jack really hadn't believed him when he had said Ianto was not dead, either that or he was fishing. Deliberately ignoring the bait the Doctor tried to sound nonchalant, determined to finish his explanation before Jack inevitably lost his focus, "I guess so. If the government followed their usual protocol I would think they burned the bodies from Thames House to destroy the evidence. By saving Ianto's body and placing it in cold storage you actually ensured the continued survival of the human race. Without it Siân would never be able to find the cure."

"Like I said, the government owed me a favour."

"They did you a bigger favour than you know Jack..." He stopped and looked uncomfortable, now that the moment was here he didn't quite know what to say. "You better sit down." It seemed appropriate in the circumstances.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "I am sat down," he said slowly.

The Doctor looked vaguely startled, "Oh, so you are. Sorry. Like I said before Ianto's not dead." The words tumbled out in a rush.

"And like I said before, I don't believe you. I felt his heart stop. I took his last breath into my own lungs. I felt him die. He's dead." Jack voice had turned cold again.

"The virus doesn't kill, Jack. That's one of the first things Siân found out. It induces some kind of suspended animation, indistinguishable from death to all intents and purposes." The Doctor's voice was low and earnest, all trace of levity extinguished. "Think about it. It makes sense. The 456 use children to provide chemical stimulants, but only young children. Once they are too old they would be useless to them. If they want a continued supply of their fix, the 456 would have to retain a breeding stock to create new children. It's a brilliant plan if you look at it objectively. Keep the adult population in suspended animation where they can't make any trouble then wake up a select few when they need fresh supplies. I'm guessing they must have tried cloning the original twelve children they took back in '64; that would have been the best way to ensure a continuous supply. But it can't have worked. Maybe clones didn't produce the same high that the original children did. That's why they came back in 2009. In the first instance they needed new blood; the children from 1964 were probably just about at the end of their useful lives. The second reason was to test the virus prior to launching an all out offensive. When they released the virus into Thames House it was the perfect trial; release the virus into a closed system, monitor the effects from inside their little glass house, and be confident that if it worked as it should, everyone would think the people affected were dead. Then they could take the information back home to apply on a large scale at a later date."

"But that doesn't change the fact that I died," Jack insisted.

"I don't think you did," the Doctor argued. "But I think the virus took you so close to death that it was enough to trigger your regenerative powers. By returning you to your factory settings, so to speak, the virus was wiped from your system."

"Alright, say I believe you and Ianto is just in a state of suspended animation what good is having the cure going to do. From what you said it only protects people from contracting the virus, not those people already affected." But there was a new glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Ah but it does... well should. When Siân tests the vaccine on a sample of Ianto's blood she finds that not only is the virus eradicated, but that the cells slowly start to metabolise and eventually undergo mitosis. Essentially they come back to life. There is no reason why the same shouldn't happen if Ianto was to be injected with a dose of the vaccine. He should wake up."

The Doctor watched as a million different emotions waged war in Jack's eyes. Finally the piercing blue eyes settled on the one he'd been hoping to see. Sheer, unadulterated joy.

"Are you honestly telling me that I can get Ianto back? Get a second chance?" Jack's eyes blazed with fervour.

"Absolutely!" the Doctor said happily. He really liked the good days. "You'll have to wait a while though. Twelve years to be precise."

"Doctor, I was buried alive for two thousand years," Jack laughed. "Twelve years is a mere blip in time."

"I do need to warn you Jack. I don't know what effect being in suspended animation for that long will have on the human body. There may be side effects..."

* * *

A little later, sat side by side on the sofa sharing the long awaited cup of tea, Jack thought about the Doctor's machinations spanning nearly a decade.

"This has been quite a long project for you hasn't it Doctor?" he said slyly wondering if the Doctor would confirm his suspicions. "I mean normally you're in and out in a matter of hours..."

The Doctor looked sideways at him, "There's no fooling you is there Jack? OK I admit, I'm busted. Ten years for you, about two weeks for me since I left you on Chiswick High Street. You wouldn't believe the amount of hopping backwards and forwards I've had to do just to keep up with you. Especially that thing with Donna's coma. No way was I expecting that one."

"This was that important?" Jack pressed.

"Nothing more important," the Doctor affirmed. "The whole of human existence remember? I needed to make sure it played out the way it was supposed to before..." He fell silent and refused to meet Jack's eyes.

"Before what?" Jack insisted, a frisson of fear running down his spine.

When the Doctor finally spoke his voice was low and, Jack realised, tinged with fear.

"Something bad is coming. In the darkness. It's been foretold. He is coming in the darkness and he will knock four times. I think I'm going to die Jack, and soon. I needed to make sure you and Donna, and the Earth were safe before that happened. Who knows what my successor will do. I wasn't going to trust something this important to anyone else."

Jack didn't know what to say. He desperately wanted to contradict the Doctor's words, tell him that he was imagining things, but he found he couldn't. Something in the pit of his stomach told him that the Doctor had every reason to be afraid, especially if the man in the darkness was the man Jack suspected, impossible as that was. Briefly he wondered if the Doctor already suspected who the prophecy was referring to, or whether he should share his fears with him. One look into the Doctor's eyes told him the Doctor didn't need to be told anything.

With a wry smile the Doctor clambered to his feet,

"Time to go," he announced. "I think I'll pop back to 2059 and check that the Mars base is back where it belongs."

"Call in for a visit," suggested Jack with a smile.

"Absolutely, positively. Mars base first, Torchwood Cardiff second," the Doctor promised although Jack knew that he would never see the Doctor again, at least not in that incarnation.

"I'm never going to see you again," he said sadly. "Am I?"

"Oh I can absolutely promise that you will," the Doctor chuckled with one of his mysterious half smiles. "Might not be for a while though."

Jack got to his feet and held out his hand.

"Goodbye Doctor. And thank you."

The Doctor grinned. "It's a pleasure Jack. Any time." He took Jack's hand to shake it and found himself pulled into a mammoth bear hug.

"Look after yourself." Jack said seriously. "And if you need me you know where I am."

The Doctor nodded and headed out of the office back towards the TARDIS. He almost fell over the young girl crouching just outside the door. From her shivering it was clear she had been there some time.

"Did you catch all of that?" he said with a grin leaning down so only she could hear him. "You're going to change the world!"

Siân nodded, her eyes shining. "Are you him? The Doctor? The one grandad talks about?"

"That's me. The Doctor. Just the Doctor. Pleased to meet you Siân Harkness. Look after your dad won't you. He's a bit rubbish when he's on his own." He gave her a conspiratorial wink and she giggled. "And tell your grandad he did an excellent job. Right on cue. Just as we planned." Then with a swish of coat tails he was gone.

"Doctor!" Jack called after him, suddenly remembering he had one last question to ask, the question about his dream of Ianto, but his only reply was the whine of the TARDIS engines.

* * *

**Final chapter coming very soon (cross my heart and all that) complete with lots of added Janto fluffiness...**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. That honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I have put right what once was wrong.**

**Author's Note: So here we are the final chapter. Please forgive the extended A/N but I have a couple of things I need to say...**

**Firstly, major thank you's and hugs to everyone who's read, alerted, and favourited (not a real word but hey who cares) the story with special mentions to Marzi, MizScarlet, Ravenja70, Helen Pattskyn, Orion Lyonesse, DarqueQueen7, Monica Ann, bbmcowgirl, tempestuous rayne, Gwento-addict, Roslin, JantoForever21; DeltaCandy, TweetyCanary, LiquidLash and lysmachine for taking the time to review (often repeatedly). I really can't tell you how much it means to me.**

**Secondly. I tried to write a bit of smut, I felt you all deserved it, but I'm rubbish at it, so I'll point you in the right direction and let your imaginations do the rest ;o)**

**Thirdly. The closing lyrics are from Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol possibly one of the finest love songs around. I know it's twee. I couldn't help it and I'm not apologising for it.**

**Fourthly. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**_Chapter XXIII_

It was a crisp December morning, a stiff frost caked the Roald Dahl Plas, but a hundred feet below the paving slabs Jack was oblivious. Standing in the medical bay, Ianto's body lay on the slab beside him looking exactly the same as he had on that fateful day in Thames House twenty two years ago. Jack fought the sick nervous feeling that was churning his stomach. This would work. It had to work. The Doctor had said so. But what would he do if he was wrong. It would be like losing Ianto all over again. He couldn't take that, not after waiting so long. He didn't have the strength.

"Dad?" The auburn haired woman by his side squeezed his hand comfortingly. "I'm right about this. I'm sure I am. It might just take a few minutes to take effect."

"I know." Jack returned the squeeze. "I'm just nervous. What if he doesn't want me any more. I wouldn't blame him. I got him killed. Well, as good as."

"Jack Harkness, you're an imbecile." This scathing interjection came from Gwen, now in her fifties, but with the same burning passion and determination she'd had in her thirties. Stood opposite Jack and Siân on the other side of the slab, her eyes anxiously darted between Jack and the monitors which would evidence Ianto's return to life.

"So you keep telling me," Jack retorted genially. "It's one of the reasons you lo..."

There was a sharp beep cutting through Jack's words like a siren. As one Jack, Gwen and Siân drew a breath and held it waiting...waiting. A second bleep. A third. A spike in the brain wave trace. Jack breathed out raggedly. It was working. Gwen grinned in relief and winked at Siân.

"I think we'd better leave these two alone now. I've walked in on one of their 'Thank God we're alive' sessions before. Not pretty!"

Siân giggled, suddenly looking like a vaguely embarrassed twenty year old rather than a world renowned, eminent scientist. Giving her Dad a quick peck on the cheek "For Luck" she started to follow Gwen out of the room.

"Siân, sweetheart!" Jack called after her, halting her as she was about to pull the door closed behind her. "Thank you."

Siân grinned, a look so like Donna. "Any time, Dad!" Jack watched smiling as the door swung shut behind her with a resounding thunk.

"I leave you alone for five minutes and you've already got another woman on the go. How do you do it?"

The soft croaky voice abruptly stopped Jack in his tracks. Swinging his eyes down he saw Ianto's dark blue eyes softly staring at him, slightly crinkled in the corners with amusement.

"Oh God, Yan." In a single motion Jack had pulled Ianto up into his arms and was kissing him feverishly on his cheeks and forehead whilst he sobbed unashamedly.

"I love you" he whispered into his lover's mouth.

Despite his confusion and the killer headache pounding at his temples Ianto's heart leapt, he wrapped his arms around Jack and hugged him as if he would never let go.

"I'm alright Jack, I'm OK," he soothed, not knowing why Jack appeared so distraught, but filled with the overwhelming need to ease his pain. He cradled Jack's shaking frame, until the older man's sobs subsided and the frantic kisses slowed and deepened. Suddenly the memories of the 456 came flooding back. The virus, his lungs filling with fluid. Jack begging him not to leave him. Dying in Jack's arms, the only place he'd ever really wanted to be.

"I died. I remember," he muttered, pulling back from Jack but staying safe in the circle of Jack's arms. His voice became panicked.

"Please don't tell me you found one of those god-awful glove things. I don't want to be like Owen..."

"You're not like Owen, you're 100% alive and here." Jack kissed him again. "And functional in every respect."

"Well that's fortunate sir," he deadpanned. "Otherwise you would have had to extend the current limits of your creativity."

Jack laughed, a joyous sound which warmed Ianto's heart. Everything was going to be alright. He had waited for Jack, and Jack had come for him. In that instance he remembered everything.

"I told you I was waiting, Jack." Ianto tilted his head so he could look into Jack's beaming face. "That day in my flat. Till the end of time if I had to. Of course I thought I was waiting for you to come to me, not the other way round."

Jack blinked, his brow furrowed in confusion and then as Ianto's words penetrated his brain he stared at him open-mouthed in shock.

"That was real? Your flat? Us having that bloody awful row? How is that even possible? There was no brain activity. I checked when we first brought you here. Repeatedly!." For once Jack seemed at a complete loss. Ianto rather liked the look of total bemusement on Jack's face. It was so childlike, and decidedly cute, Ianto decided. He'd have to tell him sometime. First though, he better put him out of his misery

"The Doctor said..." he began, quite enjoying having the upper hand in the knowledge stakes for once.

"Wait. The Doctor? Where the hell did you see him?"

"Where do you think Jack?" Ianto said in an slightly exasperated tone. Sometimes his beloved Captain could be so...thick. He looked a little reprovingly at him. "In my flat. A little while after you showed up. Do you want to know what he said or not?"

Jack nodded.

"You might want to sit down for this. It might take a while." Ianto suggested. For a moment Jack's look of consternation was replaced by a sly grin.

"I thought you'd never ask." In one swift movement he managed to jump up onto the trolley beside Ianto and pull him from his semi-reclined position onto Jack's lap to be supported against Jack's chest. Ianto blushed, much to Jack's amusement.

"I'm not a child Jack!" he protested half-heartedly, secretly rather enjoying the closeness.

"Humour me!" Jack scolded him affectionately, giving him a far from paternal squeeze and grinding his hips suggestively into Ianto's backside. Ianto gave a tiny squeak, making Jack raise his eyebrows. Ianto coloured an even deeper shade of pink.

"I'm out of practice," he said defensively. "I have been dead a while."

"Get on with the story, Jones." Jack replied with a chuckle. He rested his head against Ianto's and closed his eyes contentedly. Ianto took a deep contented breath of his own and began.

"Yes, sir! You may or may not know, Captain Harkness, that there is a part of the brain which humans don't use. Scientists don't even know it exists in this time. It's the part of brain responsible for telepathy." Ianto could sense rather than see Jack's expression of incredulity and he laughed, twisting round in his arms to give him an affectionate peck on the cheek. "The Doctor said you wouldn't believe me. Keep an open mind Jack. I won't deny I took some convincing." He turned back and settled back into Jack's embrace trying to ignore Jack's right hand which by now was resting on his bare thigh under the sheet which had been covering him, the thumb moving in lazy circles, the sensations creating a well of growing desire in the pit of his stomach. He got the feeling he better keep the story short and to the point for both their sakes.

"When people are in a highly charged emotional state they can unconsciously access this area of the brain and use a primitive form of telepathy. It's the gut feeling you get when someone you are very close to is in danger even though they may be miles away." He felt Jack's grip tighten and knew that each had had that feeling about the other in the past.

"When I believed I was dying it seems my consciousness tried to access that area of my brain and couldn't – a side effect of the virus. Somehow it lodged in equivalent part of your brain instead. The Doctor doesn't really know exactly how it happened but he guessed it was something to do with us being intensely emotionally connected at the critical moment, your 51st century brain being more developed in that area than the average human, and your inability to die. If you hadn't been there I wouldn't be talking to you now. My body would have survived but what made me who I am would have been lost for ever. You saved my soul as well as my body, Jack." He lifted Jack's arm, the one encircled round his waist, and raising his left hand to his lips, kissed the wedding ring lodged there. He felt Jack shudder reflexively and let the hand return to his waist, covering it with his own. "The irony was you didn't know I was there and neither did I. But sometimes, when you were in a heightened emotional state, our minds touched. I told you once I would always be in your heart, apparently I was half a metre too low." Ianto looked round and took in Jack's continued shell-shocked expression. At the time he too had thought that the first moment Jack's mind and his had touched had been nothing but a dream. Dancing in his darkened flat to their old song. Giving Jack his blessing to move on. But however shocked Jack was about the explanation so far, Ianto knew it was a fair bet that what he had to say next would truly knock him for six. "Yours wasn't the only mind I accessed Jack. I spoke to Donna." As he expected Jack's eyes flickered to look at him in a mixture of alarm and confusion.

"You spoke to Donna?" Jack repeated bemused. Then his expression cleared as he fitted the pieces into place. "When she was in the coma. Your consciousness and her consciousness connected via mine." He gave a short laugh. "So that was where she found out about your grandmother's name." Then his face fell, and a look of guilt settled on his features. "When she told you, who she was. That must have really hurt. I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

Ianto shook his head. "Don't be sorry Jack. I won't deny I felt hurt when she first told me her name, when I found out how soon after my death you'd got together. But I never wanted you to be unhappy Jack. I never wanted you to be alone. Donna made you happy. For that I will always be grateful to her."

"She is an exceptional woman," Jack agreed. "and without her I wouldn't have Siân, or you."

Now it was Ianto's turn to look confused.

"Long story," Jack confessed. "I'll tell you later. So then, what else did you and Donna discuss?"

Despite Jack's light-hearted tone Ianto could hear the wariness in his voice. He gave Jack a reassuring smile.

"Mostly we talked about you. How amazing you were. How lucky we were to be able to love you and have you love us back. To be honest Donna didn't really remember a great deal about her life, apart from you of course. She didn't even remember about the Doctor at first..."

Now he looked at Jack in genuine surprise as the older man turned ashen.

"She remembered? And the memories didn't hurt her?" Jack whispered.

"They seemed to shock her when she first remembered, but then no, she seemed fine. Mad but fine. She thought you and the Doctor had been playing her. Setting her up. Then she talked about ripples in ponds. She didn't talk a whole load of sense to be honest."

Jack laughed as his colour returned. "So that's what the Doctor did in her mind to bring her out of the coma. Sneaky sod. He let her access just enough of her memories so that she could work out the big picture, then he safely fastened then away again... But if he was in Donna's mind he must have sensed your consciousness too. He knew. He knew you were alive and you were conscious and he didn't tell me." Suddenly there was fury on Jack's face. "The bastard, why didn't he tell me?"

Ianto put a restraining hand on Jack's arm.

"Cariad..." At the endearment, Jack took a deep breath.

"He should have told me," he insisted, though his voice was calmer.

"And what would you have done if he had? You had a wife; you had a child. Would you have left them knowing that there might never be a way to bring me back? The Doctor told me that although he knew my body was alive from the very beginning he didn't know whether my mind was still intact. It was only when he sensed me in Donna's mind that he thought it might be possible to bring me back whole."

"He could have told me later, when I had to leave Donna." Jack refused to let his indignation go.

"If he'd told you before you had left Donna you would always wonder if you left her because it was what was best for her, or because you wanted me back. The guilt would have destroyed any chance we might have together. He was doing you a favour Jack. Both of us actually. Now we are both free, Cariad." He leaned over to kiss Jack softly.

Jack deepened the kiss, flicking his tongue between the younger man's open lips, until he shuddered and gave a little moan. Ianto pulled away panting slightly.

"I missed you," he sighed, resting his head on Jack's shoulder. "I thought about you every minute of every day. Wished you were there with me. That day you appeared I thought the waiting was finally over, but then you were gone. I said then I would wait forever and I would have, but if it hadn't been for the Doctor coming I think I might I gone insane Jack."

Jack stroked Ianto's hair. Finally everything was clear. At last he knew what the Doctor had been doing in the vault that day. He hadn't been lying when he said he'd been checking that Ianto's cryopreservation intact; but he had also deliberately pushed Jack into a sufficiently heightened emotional state so that he would be able to access Ianto's mind via Jack's and reassure him that everything was now in place for bringing him back to life. Bringing him back to Jack.

"He saved both of us. I just wish it hadn't taken so long to get to today," he admitted.

"It really didn't seem that long," Ianto lied. It had felt like an eternity. Without the any real concept of time passing each hour had felt like a day. Nothing had felt real, until the day Donna had careered into his mind. For a short period of his existence he had no longer been alone. From that moment he measured everything against that, until the Doctor had appeared and told him the truth of his existence. That he would be reunited with Jack but that it would take time and he didn't know how long that would be. For the first time since waking up he wondered just how long he had been away. Certainly longer than eight years. Siân had been six when Jack had visited him and Jack and Donna had been together two years when Siân was born. The Doctor had showed up what felt like a few days later but was probably longer. He did a few mental calculations. Ten years then. Ten years wasn't so bad, not so long he couldn't pick up his life, his relationships with Rhiannon, Mica and David. Although a ten-year absence would take some explaining, especially after the whole dead thing. His need to know became overwhelming.

"Tell me Jack, just how long was I dead?"

Jack took both of Ianto's hands in his own and look in the face, his blue eyes never wavering from Ianto's.

"Twenty two years."

Ianto heard a roaring sound in his ears as the darkness closed in and he fell back onto the trolley in a dead faint.

* * *

Jack's scent. Finally it was there on the pillow where he'd searched for it in vain for so long. He didn't want to open his eyes. To shatter the illusion that Jack was there and he was home at last. He knew that when he dared to look all he would see was the stark white walls of the flat and the empty pillow beside him. He lay there for a few minutes more, breathing in the warm musky fragrance, almost believing he could hear Jack's shallow breaths as he slept, feel his arm draped across his body. It was torture. Exquisite, but torture nonetheless. With one final breath to commit the dream to memory he pushed open his eyes. Purple silk obscured his vision. Beyond he could see muted grey walls, lush purple and grey suede drapes, subdued lighting emanating from a stone based bed-side lamp. _Where the hell was he,_ he thought in confusion. _Where was the flat?_ And then he heard it, a snuffle. A strangely childlike sound which made his heart leap. Slowly he turned his head to look at the pillow next to him. There was Jack, laid beside him, his face relaxed and peaceful in repose half obscured by the curve of the pillow, the strange and familiar snuffling noise escaping from between his lips. In that instance Ianto remembered that the head on the pillow was no illusion; the musky scent of his lover and the arm draped across his waist was real. He was home.

Ianto stared at Jack, unwilling to wake him and sighed in contentment watching him sleep. _Twenty-two years_, he thought incredulously. _He'd been dead for twenty-two years_. By rights he should be upset. It was a shock, he couldn't deny that. But strangely he didn't feel the least bit perturbed. He couldn't imagine the world outside now; it would be unrecognisable to him. And he would be an anachronism, a man out of his time, an object of curiosity to the establishment in the know. Just like Jack. The analogy made him smile. Both of them were out of their times now. Different. Wrong. It was perfect.

"What are you smiling about, Ianto Jones?" Jack's soft question broke through Ianto's reverie. His smile broadened.

"I'm just contemplating what life is going to be like now I'm a freak of nature."

"You're not a freak of nature," Jack replied hotly, indignant on Ianto's behalf. "You're just special."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Aww that's so sweet. Is Jack going to save me from the nasty government men then?" His voice was syrupy and sing-song.

Jack laughed. "I'm being a prat, aren't I?"

"A bit," Ianto conceded, with a grin. "But I'm touched. Really."

"Sod off," Jack returned with an affectionate look. "Here I was about to ask you to marry me and all you can do is make fun of me." He was still smiling but his eyes had suddenly grown intense.

Ianto stilled.

"I meant it," Jack said softly. "What I said before. In your flat. I should have asked you a long time ago. Before all this. I was scared. I know that's no excuse but..."

Ianto pressed a soft kiss to Jack's lips stopping him dead.

"Of course I'll marry you, Cariad" he said as he pulled away. "Today if I could. Did you ever really doubt it?"

"Honestly?" Jack's eyes were shining but he hesitated, needing to tell Ianto the truth so they could put the past behind them once and for all. "I don't know. After all the games I played trying to make you believe it wasn't serious, when all the time I knew you were the one and I was just too scared to admit it. Leading you into danger, over and over again. I got you killed."

"No, Cariad. You didn't. I followed you there. I made the choice. I may not be as old as you Jack but I'm old enough to make my own choices in life. I chose to follow you into Thames House. I would have followed you into hell if I'd had to...Oh sorry, we've done that already. And I just want you to know. I'm not going to sit back and watch you run Torchwood from the sidelines. Husband or no husband. I want back on the team. I'm staying by your side until the day I draw my final breath for real."

"I think the new assertive Ianto Jones is going to take a bit of getting used to," Jack muttered, as Ianto tried to distract him by nibbling on his earlobe. "Or is it going to be Ianto Harkness?"

Ianto lifted his head. "I was thinking Ianto Harkness-Jones actually. I always wanted to be double-barrelled," he commented, turning his attention back to Jack's ear and neck.

Jack sighed again. He was suddenly finding it very difficult to concentrate.

"Harkness-Jones. I like that." He paused for a moment, audibly catching his breath as Ianto located a sensitive spot on his collar bone with his tongue. Ianto's definition of out of practice was clearly different to his, he thought in amusement. "Don't you want to know about how we saved you?" he managed to gasp, as Ianto buried his head beneath the covers to turn his attention to his chest and he became aware of fingers slowly skimming up his thighs.

"Later," came the muffled reply. "Tomorrow, maybe."

* * *

One Month Later....

It was the most perfect night. Soft lighting lit the corners of the room,, highlighting couples sat at tables watching the couple dancing in the centre of the room. Jack raised his head from Ianto's shoulder, idly watching the people as he slowly spun round. The song playing was old, by his definition at least. He'd asked for it specially, a reminder of that perfect day on the beach long ago, playing on the car radio, the music drifting out over the sand. The words, even then seeming to fit his feelings exactly. Now he could admit those feelings. It would forever be their song. Imprinted on their minds as their first dance as a married couple. Jack and Ianto Harkness-Jones. On his finger, both rings, Donna's and Ianto's; but now there was a matching ring on Ianto's finger. Just as when he had married Donna Jack had offered to remove the other ring, this time Donna's. But just as swiftly as Donna had done, Ianto had stayed his hand, saying that it was only fitting that it remain there. Even though Donna now had someone else. Jack still couldn't believe how that had happened. Not that Donna had found someone else, but rather who she had found. Around them, amongst the other couples who had now taken to the floor he saw the objects of his thoughts moving slowly by, the auburn and blond heads close together in a world of their own. As if sensing the scrutiny the blond head lifted and a knowing wink was sent in Jack's direction. With a scowl, Jack gently swung Ianto round so he was facing the other direction and could no longer see the smirk which he knew was directed at his back.

Another couple came into view, Siân dancing with her 'cousin' Ianto, holding each other in that slightly uncomfortable embrace that spoke of a new relationship, boundaries only recently crossed. Jack was happy that Siân seemed to have found someone who could appreciate her uniqueness. Ianto was a lovely young man, possessed of the quick wit and loyalty of his mother and the easy temper and fierce possessiveness of his father. It was too soon to say whether the relationship would go anywhere but he and Ianto had already discussed the ramifications of having Gwen as an in-law. Jack grinned at the mental image of Donna and Gwen going head to head as mothers of the bride and groom respectively; the fireworks could well put Gwen's own wedding to shame. Throw Grandma Sylvia, now a domineering battleaxe in her early eighties, in the mix and it may necessitate the calling out of UNIT just to get through the vows. Jack gave a throaty chuckle causing Ianto to lift his head, woken from his own daydreams (him and Jack on a private beach in the Bahamas about twenty hours from now).

"What's so funny?" he said softly, possessively tightening his hold around Jack's waist and neck.

"Sorry, just picturing the Harkness-Williams wedding. A bit random I know." Jack confessed with a guilty smile. Ianto followed his line of sight until he saw Siân and smiled, his own look of pride almost as intense as her father's. He had been initially stunned at the news that Jack's daughter had provided the means for his resurrection and that her cure would one day soon save the whole human race. But after meeting Siân he had soon come to see that finding the cure for the 456 virus was only going to be the first of the extraordinary young woman's achievements. Just the previous morning Jack had received a call from UNIT wanting Siân to adapt the virus so that it could be be used for enabling deep space exploration. He had no doubts that she would succeed. It seemed Siân would be responsible for changing the world they knew in more ways than one.

"She's a remarkable woman, Jack. She can handle anything anything Gwen or Donna can dish out," he said confidently.

"And Sylvia?" Jack commented with a grin.

"OK. I'll concede Sylvia might require a Harkness-Jones intervention," Ianto allowed with a returning grin. "Promise me you'll never let me get as bitter and twisted as her no matter how old I get."

Jack's face sobered, the way it always did whenever Ianto's mortality was mentioned. Ianto saw his expression and sighed. No matter what he said or what he did, the truth that one day Jack would have to leave him behind would always be a shadow hanging over their relationship, but Ianto had promised himself that he would never let it cloud even one day of their time together. He unwound his arms from around Jack so he could take his husband's face in his hands, then he looked deeply into his glorious blue eyes, inky in the subdued lights.

"I don't know how much time we've got Jack, but I do know I intend spending every minute of it with you."

"I'm glad to hear that," Jack replied slowly, his sombre expression clearing as he realised what Ianto was trying to do. It was replaced with a wicked grin as he wrapped his arms around Ianto drawing him closer still. "Because I've got twenty two years of being apart from you to catch up on and I'm not planning on hurrying."

As Jack nuzzled against Ianto's neck, pressing soft kisses behind his ear, he felt the younger man shiver in anticipation. Jack smiled. The day the Doctor had told him that Ianto could be revived he'd warned there would be side effects; that the cells reactivated by the vaccine aged at a slower rate than expected, the equivalent of twelve years for every year in suspended animation. By Jack's reckoning that gave him about two hundred and sixty years to prove to his husband that he would never ever just be a blip in time.

* * *

Jack lifted his head and whispered for Ianto's ears alone.

"How about we head off now? No one will miss us. I really think it's about time we started that catching up." He lowered one hand to caress Ianto's backside.

"Jack, it's our wedding. The first dance isn't even over. Of course they are going to notice if we just walk out!" Ianto was trying to sound severe, trying to be sensible; but Jack could hear the longing in his voice.

Jack stopped dancing and pulled away, he captured Ianto's eyes with his own, his expression intense with barely contained passion. Ianto gave an imperceptible nod.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Jack whispered.

"Yes." One word, full of certainty, filled with longing. It was enough.

Jack, entwining Ianto's fingers between his own, led him from the dance floor towards the open door. Loving eyes followed their departure; Siân, Gwen, Donna and John, but no one made a move to stop them or even commented as they left the soft strains of the music behind them and vanished into the night.

_We'll do it all_  
_Everything  
On our own_

_We don't need_  
_Anything  
Or anyone_

_If I lay here__  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_I don't quite know_  
_How to say  
How I feel_

_Those three words__  
Are said too much  
They're not enough_

_If I lay here__  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told_  
_Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

_Let's waste time  
Chasing cars_  
_Around our heads_

_I need your grace_  
_To remind me  
To find my own_

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told_  
_Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

_All that I am_  
_All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

_I don't know where_  
_Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here__  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? _

The End

_

* * *

_**I hope you enjoyed the resolution**_._** Reviews will make me very happy!**

**Oh, and in this final chapter Donna does have her memories back and yes, John is John Hart. But that is quite another story...  
**


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